Your worst deuce experience? NWS?

[Roysneon]

I once clogged my buddy's toilet the first time I ever went over to his apartment. We had gone to see a little acoustic show at a radio station just before so I was wearing a shirt and tie. Pants ended up all the way off, tie was loose and top button undone by the end of it. Almost had to go full Castanza.

After the laborious process, I flushed to find the bowl was not up to the task. I made an effort to clear it (not really) by jiggling the handle a bit, looked around for the plunger but came up empty. I didn't want to risk an overflow by flushing again, and really didn't feel like asking for a plunger or stick to break up the disgusting butt baby I just birthed, so, like a Florida meth head 16 year old, I left that little one in the toilet and continued playing with my friend's guns.

Neither of the guys that lived there ever brought it up to me again, and I've been drunk with both of them since, so I'm pretty sure that's that.

[hammrdwn510]

Working out of town (Cleveland) living in an extended stay. Forgot I had clogged the shitter the day before with the remnants of what was at least a 1lb corned beef sammich it wasn't cleaning lady day till the following day. Well the sammich was so damn good I had another the following day....having a fear of pooping at other toilets other than my own I prairie dogged it all day, really sucking it in during traffic on the way back to the room. I run into the bathroom to a full bowl from the previous night..... No time to make it to the pool bathroom I weigh my options..... Garbage ca (too much stank) bathroom sink( hole too small, would def choke it) shower??? (Maybe try to destroy logs with water blast? Nope, gotta take showers still). Alas I didn't use the kitchen at all, garbage disposal plus large mouth sink hole..... So bombs away!!! Let the water run for a couple hours and dumped a full bottle of dish detergent .... Never to set foot I that kitchen again

[ajhostetter]

Agreed you can't just skip to the end. Thats like jizzing without jerkin off.

I love the "long story short" part. Isn't this whole thread supposed to be about the story?

[E30_Pare]

Too short. Why did you shit your pants?

Agreed you can't just skip to the end. Thats like jizzing without jerkin off.

[ST1G]

I ones went to dinner with my dad, a girl I liked, and her dad. My dad and her dad are both wacky people and they got along. This was in high school. It was a very nice restaurant in down town SF.
Long story short I almost shit my pants during dinner, and did shit my pants on the way back to the car. Luckily the girl and her dad drove home separately lol
My dad was not happy

Too short. Why did you shit your pants?

[slaterd]

...

Taking a duece while reading this thread...pretty appropriate. This picture apead up a 10 minute battle into one forceful, laughing push.

[BLACKCHARM88]

...

[fight4life28]

This thread is epic! I had a moment like this after eating some very hot taco's the day before. Coffee in the morning didnt help at all! Lets me just say it was like this in the movie,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXouSM2JOZk

[BrownBeanE30]

When I was 19 I had a colostomy for 8 months. About 4 months into it I started seeing this girl. We went to a party at a friend's house because his parents were out of town. She and I proceed to get super drunk, and then decide to go upstairs and have sex in the parents' bedroom. The relationship was still new so I was still keeping my shirt on when we were having sex. I'm going to town on this girl and I smell something awful. I figure she farted because she was drunk and I was hammering her, but then my arm brushed my shirt. It was wet. I pull my shirt up and the seal between the bag and my belly was leaking, and the bag was full of watery shit that I'd neglected to drain before we fucked. I stop having sex with her and fall on to my back and bury my face in my hands. I'm embarrassed and thinking this girl will never have sex with me again.

There was shit all over her and her crotch and the skirt I'd hiked up to get at her vag, as well as my cock and balls. She doesn't realize what's happening, apparently her sense of smell doesn't work when she's drunk. She starts trying to blow me. I pull my junk out of her mouth and tell her to look down at her crotch. It takes a minute for her to figure out it's poop.

Anyway, I kept dating her for 2 years afterward.

You are the man dude, that has to be the funniest thing I've ever read before

[henryki]

I took a shit at work in the employee bathroom on the last day Mark, my lube tech friend was working there, the employee bathroom has no windows in it at all, so while I'm delivering what felt like Satan's unborn child Mark turns the lights out, its pitch black and I can't even see my hands in front of my face. He then gets an air hose and blows up an antifreeze bottle in the bathroom. At this point my ears are ringing from how loud it was... The lights are still off and when I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse I hear him walk him trying to hold back laughter then the sound of a lighter...

It was then that the entire stall became illuminated by a big ball of flame. He got a can of brake cleaner and sprayed and lit it under the door. Then paper towels that I had thrown in there a few days earlier while he was shitting caught on fire. So mid shit I have to get up and stomp them out and he's laughing his ass off and still spraying brake cleaner at me while my pants are around my ankles.. He eventually leaves and doesn't turn the lights back on... I had to use the flashlight app on my phone in order to finish up...

When I finally finished cleaning myself up after this ordeal I got up and turned the lights back on and started to wash my hands only to see the door open and a water bottle with the air hose attached to it. It was a normal plastic water bottle, and I kid you not I could feel it in my chest when it blew up, if you've ever made a dry ice bomb with one of them it was literally just as loud if not louder than that, and in a tiny enclosed space and not having enough time to plug my ears I think I may have hearing damage...

The only upside to him pranking me was my revenge later that day, I got him back by jacking his jeep up taking off one of his tires and hiding it in the parts storage container and locked it up. So he had to go to the parts manager, who is a total prick, and beg to open up the container. When the parts manager finally opened it up he thought Mark was trying to steal a wheel and tire from the company and had to walk the manager back to his jeep in order to show him that it was a matching wheel and tire...

all in all it was hilarious and the parts manager was pissed and tried to find out who threw the wheel in there to write someone up for it.

[deutschman]

I ones went to dinner with my dad, a girl I liked, and her dad. My dad and her dad are both wacky people and they got along. This was in high school. It was a very nice restaurant in down town SF.
Long story short I almost shit my pants during dinner, and did shit my pants on the way back to the car. Luckily the girl and her dad drove home separately lol
My dad was not happy

[E30_Pare]

Shart face?

[15Michaeljoseph]

This is the funniest thing I've ever read in my life. I've been nonstop laughing for 45 minutes.


also, I shit in the shower once. It was not fun to clean up.


--Mike

[Exodus_2pt0]

Anyway, I kept dating her for 2 years afterward.

You are a god among men.

[E30_Pare]

Was the girl Taylor? <3