Like, I have no problem with gays. Just dont be so gay about it you know. Like be gay but not gay with me.
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07 Designio E63 AMG / 1984 318i (M20Swapped)
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Hey guys, I can lick my elbow.world renown Harry Potter expert
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No you can't. It's illegal.Originally posted by phreshkid View Post1974.5 Jensen Healey : 2003 330i/5Comment
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Story time:
So the clock strikes 4:15 and I am up out of my desk and on my way out the door. The voice of common sense says that i should visit the toilet before I begin my journey home. Being that I live 9 minutes away from home i figure i can tough it out. As soon as I walk out of the west entrance of the building a crippling pain nearly knocks me to my knees. But I've already gone to far to turn back. I get to my car and nearly peel out with the security guard scowling at me, he clearly doesnt understand the nature of my emergency. I make it home in record time, while all the way carefully purging small volumes of gas that seem to ease the intense abdominal pain momentarily. I pull a hard right turn onto my street which sends my open can of monster flying in between my pegs. In my state of heightened awareness I catch it in mid air not even caring to think about my now partially soaked floor mat. I navigate to my parking spot and and cant be bothered to roll up my windows or grab any of my valuables before breaking into a full sprint to my front door where my lovely girlfriend was waiting to greet me. I felt so bad as I nearly knocked her over screaming "I HAVE TO SHIT!" I burst into the bathroom and as soon as I sat down The floodgates unleashed godzuki which ended up being an at least 7" long serpentine shaped turd. I took at least a good 15 minutes of constant pushing to get it all out. I feel like a have a few new hemorrhoids and a whole new waist line due to a few lost pounds. Im now alive and well and healing.
Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkLast edited by be34st; 10-08-2012, 05:45 PM.
07 Designio E63 AMG / 1984 318i (M20Swapped)
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Shit stories are so fun. did it tear? that is ALWAYS the MOST fun.
for me though, when I have to shit bad like that and a foot race with destiny ensues, there might be only the smallest solid plug, and then...KABOOOSH!1! fucking Kevin Costner's WATERWORLD motherfucker!
high pressure ejection, blows up the inside of the bowl and garnishes the underside of the seat, Ass-cheeks, and mayhap even the cock and balls...
that is the fiery 911 shit I'm talkin' bout...
Jus sayin.Originally Posted by ACMF74
i clicked on this cuz i saw p3nis
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Yes.Originally posted by imsotyerred View PostOriginally Posted by ACMF74
i clicked on this cuz i saw p3nis
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Sure felt like a tear. It was one of those where wiping just isn't good enough and you have to jump in the shower after you're done. You know, one of those shits where you have start to sweat and have to take ur shirt off just to squeeze the last few logs out.Originally posted by Pac1373 View Post
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07 Designio E63 AMG / 1984 318i (M20Swapped)
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I just sprayed iced coffee all over my work pc. thanks. and yes I do know what you are talking about.Originally posted by be34st View PostsigpicComment
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Why would anyone go through that much trouble too make a car look that bad?Originally posted by xxx-Lost-Soul-xxx View Post
07 Designio E63 AMG / 1984 318i (M20Swapped)
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I am not an avant fan boy, but I hope that thing started off as an insurance write off or something.
Kind of a waste of a car otherwise.Originally Posted by ACMF74
i clicked on this cuz i saw p3nis
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