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Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs!
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I went this route 20 years ago; There's pros and cons. I know a lot of guys my age (old) that are married to fat, sexless, non-working drones they met at church. A minority few got lucky and their 40+yr wives are hot and treat them like gold. My point is that the church thing does not prevent the long-term liabilites of a monogamous relationship based on fear of financial and social ruin.
My advice: Figure out how to make a living online, move to Thailand, and hire a freelance girlfriend under monthly contract. And don't send money to her while you're back in the States. I wanted to do that, but my wife vetoed it."If the sky were to fall tomorrow, the tall would die first."
-Dr. Paul Forrester
Do I LOOK like I need a psychological evaluation???Comment
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I wouldn't say I have an aggressive personality, I don't know Karate, I am the most self sufficient and independent person I know, and well, perhaps a little self absorbed (its hard not to be when you are 36 years old and not a single person has ever openly shown any interest) All my friends wives wonder why I'm single, they haven't come up with a reason that I am (I only know 3 people who are single, everyone else is either married or close to it. Not a one of those single people are local.)
I've run across the "want to be liked, but not too much" I liked her, I thought she was into me. We spent a fair amount of time together (mostly mountain biking, but socially as well from time to time.) Her roommate (who I'd known for years before I met her) thought I had a shot. She decided a pot smoking dimwit was the better choice. :down: We have remained very distant friends, but that is it. Years later I asked where I went wrong, she had no answer.
The interesting thing I've heard from almost all my friends who's ex-girlfriends knew me, of my circle of friends I was the one they liked the most, but still would never date. (Sorry, poorly worded) This has been a reoccurring thing. This has happened with most of my friends, with most of their exs.
Heck, I didn't go on my first date till I was 30 (coffee, never saw the chick again.) I get maybe 1 person every year and a half or so who is interested in getting a free coffee or meal (on me). They are never interested in a 2nd.
At this point I've more or less given up. I have cool toys instead. Its their loss. Still a little companionship would be nice once in awhile. Going everywhere and doing everything by myself is kind of a drag. Eating out really sucks when you ask for a table for one. (Hence the reason I have no clue what the good restaurants in the area are.
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Like I said before, all you people who are complaining about this and that consider yourselves lucky. You could be stuck in my shoes.
By the way, no I'm not looking for sympathy. I am curious to find out what its like to not be single however.
Will'59 Alfa Romeo 101.02 Giulietta Sprint
'69 Alfa Romeo 105.51 1750 GTV (R.I.P)
'69 Datsun 2000 roadster Vintage race car
'88 BMW M3Comment
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I'm pretty much you just 12 years younger.I wouldn't say I have an aggressive personality, I don't know Karate, I am the most self sufficient and independent person I know, and well, perhaps a little self absorbed (its hard not to be when you are 36 years old and not a single person has ever openly shown any interest) All my friends wives wonder why I'm single, they haven't come up with a reason that I am (I only know 3 people who are single, everyone else is either married or close to it. Not a one of those single people are local.)
I've run across the "want to be liked, but not too much" I liked her, I thought she was into me. We spent a fair amount of time together (mostly mountain biking, but socially as well from time to time.) Her roommate (who I'd known for years before I met her) thought I had a shot. She decided a pot smoking dimwit was the better choice. :down: We have remained very distant friends, but that is it. Years later I asked where I went wrong, she had no answer.
The interesting thing I've heard from almost all my friends who's ex-girlfriends knew me, of my circle of friends I was the one they liked the most, but still would never date. (Sorry, poorly worded) This has been a reoccurring thing. This has happened with most of my friends, with most of their exs.
Heck, I didn't go on my first date till I was 30 (coffee, never saw the chick again.) I get maybe 1 person every year and a half or so who is interested in getting a free coffee or meal (on me). They are never interested in a 2nd.
At this point I've more or less given up. I have cool toys instead. Its their loss. Still a little companionship would be nice once in awhile. Going everywhere and doing everything by myself is kind of a drag. Eating out really sucks when you ask for a table for one. (Hence the reason I have no clue what the good restaurants in the area are. )
Like I said before, all you people who are complaining about this and that consider yourselves lucky. You could be stuck in my shoes.
By the way, no I'm not looking for sympathy. I am curious to find out what its like to not be single however.
Will
I'm that guy who always gets told "you deserve someone better than me" or "you are so amazing you deserve someone really nice"
None have stepped up to the plate though.1985 M10b18. 70maybewhpoffury. Over engineered S50b30 murica BBQ swap in progress.
Originally posted by DEV0 E30Comment
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Dude, I'm sorry. I hope you find a way out sooner than later. Still, the only people I hear the "you are so amazing you deserve someone really nice" are from married friends. I don't even get the chance to hear it from anyone else. Its a pretty well known fact that few/no women want a 36 year old guy who has never been in a relationship. They are all looking to get married and have kids, I not looking to do that just yet (I don't know that I even want kids, but its kind of a mute point anyway. I have no interest in starting a family at 40, and I can't see getting married without having at least 2 different relationships. Time has run out on that one.) I need to learn to walk before I run.
Funny side note, one of my female friends who is a few years older than me once told me I'm married to my Datsun. (She was my first autocross driving instructor back when I had just gotten my driver's license at age 25. I did my first autoX literally a week after I got my license.) She also said that the M3 was my mistress. Oddly enough, the two cars don't like to be parked in the same garage together. When it does happen, neither one runs right the next time I take one out. Its like they are jealous of each other. If I keep the two separate, no problems whatsoever.
On that note, I'm going to take the "Ultimate Driving Machine" for a spin. Its faithful, doesn't complain and keeps me entertained. Not to mention, it always looks good.
Will'59 Alfa Romeo 101.02 Giulietta Sprint
'69 Alfa Romeo 105.51 1750 GTV (R.I.P)
'69 Datsun 2000 roadster Vintage race car
'88 BMW M3Comment
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Most humans do
Hold on there buddy! Be careful of using words like Chruch, God, Or bible on R3v... people will attack you and call you a primitive idiot, despite the fact that the majority of human beings on the planet believe in a higher power and a great number of believers subscribe to some sort of doctrine or belief system that's been pasted down from generation to generation.
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Optimator commends you for spilling your guts to a sophomoric online forum.
Sometimes you need to ride a moped before you graduate to a motorcycle. If you can't read between the lines, let me be more forward. Fat. Chicks.
May you find what you're looking for,
Optimator!-OVULATOR (as named by jflip2002)
Past Cars: Schwarz 1990 325i-2 (crashed), Calypsorot 1991 325i-2 Sport (rear ended)
Now: Blake-stitched mediocrity :(Comment
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Damn, I'm having a really bad week, and I still wanna give all you guys in here a big hug. It's tough for me to read and then personalize the "internal bummer meter level", my heart really goes out to you guys.
On my end, I never had much trouble dating once I was towards the end of HS, plenty of short term relationships (one night to a few months), a four year long live-in almost ended up married one, and now a nine year long total, married for a year almost.
If anything, I can say the biggest issue I feel I'm reading is the issue of snowballing self fulfilling prophesy of doubt and a dash of the scent of overeagerness. Being too focused on it is like the old wives tale of a watched pot never boiling.Comment
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Hahaha. Sorry, no fat chicks, they don't fit in the cars
(I'm not kidding, two normal sized people in the Datsun are a tight fit.) Besides, it will throw the weight balance off.
As for spilling one's guts, nope, this is old news to anyone who knows me.
Now that I've been thinking about it, I think the majority of women are delusional (very generalized here). They expect Brad Pitt, with the improvisational skills of McGyver, the class of James Bond who also happens to be a pro athlete. They say they won't settle for anything but their dream guy. The truth is, everyone settles on some level. No one is entitled to anything. They want the guy who drives the nice new car/truck (it doesn't matter if its a brand new civic or a Bentley) The guys who drive a nice older car are already behind, and it doesn't matter if the car is worth more than the brand new Civic. The guy can have an IQ of 120+ but since he works a no name job (because its all that could be found) he is dismissed.
Bad conclusion: Women are shallow and delusional, but often are nice to look at. Oh yeah, some of them can cook as well. They all seem to be looking for a guy who does not exist and when they don't find him, they blow everyone else off, and whine and complain when guys get tired of playing this game. (But we are dumb enough to keep playing it.)
Alright, enough of my rather biased, frustration fueled, horribly shallow rant...
Will'59 Alfa Romeo 101.02 Giulietta Sprint
'69 Alfa Romeo 105.51 1750 GTV (R.I.P)
'69 Datsun 2000 roadster Vintage race car
'88 BMW M3Comment
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You guys are killing me. It's not that hard.
1. find a girl/woman who you like & think you can stand to hang around.
2. Treat her like you'd want to be treated. Dont be condescending assholes, but dont be a pushover little bitch either. Dont be too distant or else you'll get friend-zoned. Make sure she knows you want her but not just for her body. If you act too aggressive, she'll think you're a douche. Don't nag her, give her space, if she wants you in it she'll make it apparent. Make the move if it's right, but dont rush it.
3. If you have a decent job, you can afford to treat her. Take her to do new things, take her to an exotic restaurant or something she hasn't done before, but dont forget about the basics, a good dinner & a nice treat is always good.
Even if you're broke, you can do plenty of free things, free shows, go hiking somewhere, a nice drive somewhere w/ lunch. Seriously just do things she wouldn't expect. Dont be boring!
4. Have some pride & self-respect by working-out/exercising. Take a shower & shave. Wear your nice pants. Act like you care but aren't trying too hard, even if you are. Clean your cars, apartments, houses, etc. DONT be a douche & DONT be a showoff.
These are just the things off the top of my head,
OP you're stuck at #1, but they're out there. Like others have said libraries, stores, normal places, etc.
Others you guys seem to get #1 but are lacking somewhere in the other parts.
I'm not saying I'm a fvcking beast or anything, just what has worked for me & meeting some pretty chill ladies.
Godspeed gentlemen.
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Not all women are bad. Like Ashley said, quit searching for 10s and expecting them to fulfill every quota you have.Comment
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Something very important I forgot: Listen to her, doesn't mean you have to agree with what she's saying, you can even 'play' argue (don't force or insist that either person is right tho). If you can crack a joke that is related to something even she forgot she said she said 3 dates ago, she'll want the D.Comment
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X10000. I sense a support group meeting taking place soon. lol
waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles that. My last ex tried to run my life, never did shit and i didn't really care, but once she stopped putting out, that was it for me. Left a pretty sour taste in my life, I could care less if I ever went out on a date and/or ever had a relationship with another girl again. Apparently, I'm weird for feeling like that (at least that's what I hear from lots of people on a regular basis.) it's whatever, though.
Between trying to run a business, going to school and spending time with my family, I really don't have much time for anything else and I'm totally fine with that.
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Maybe we're being bred this way /conspiracy
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