A paper I wrote back in school

[Brew]

Holy. Shit.

[fretburnr]

OMFG analrot FTW!!@#

that had to be the best spontaneous-madlib-chop of a writing i've ever seen!

[kommissar]

Haha, that was fucking awesome.

[e30sd]

DUDE get off ryan's balls.

[Jand3rson]

The effort it took to re-write that about the subject you chose to re-write it on gives me a strong indication that you probably had a pretty good time doing it.

[AndrewBird]

While we're on the topic, here's little something I wrote in "highschool":

Thought you guys might like it.

Art Through Bulges and Creases

He encompasses my vision. For a second, white, creamy, magnificent sauce fills my eyes. Upon the restoration of my vision, my attention draws to the finely chiseled pecks and erect nipples that compose his chest. A work of art in themselves. Sharp lines and square edges define this body, all of which with a purpose, a meaning. Every minuscule piece on this work of art, created with purpose in mind. A man stands before me, crafted to make sweet love.

Gazing at the pants of this man, I truly understanding what the designers had attempted to and did accomplish. In order to fit the massively long ten-inch member under the body work without modification, the fabric had to flare out. And flare out it does, stretching away from the legs as if an explosion occurred underneath them, blowing the cloth outward. Creases top and bottom distinguish where these bulges start and end.

Clean, straight veins that seem to outline the shafts’s most excellent features, grab my interest next. Two veins run up the bottom, adding an almost scoop-like area to the mushroom tip. Lines run down each side of the body, blending the base to the scrotum. Even a line shaven across the happy trail separates the belly button from the crotch. Everything so perfectly placed. Nothing on this man could change for the better.

I know all about this beauty’s heart, the crème de la ejaculation. A 10-inch high throbbing penis; ferocious, and not for the timid of heart. A true beast of an organ. With a blood filled tip along with other high performance goodies, it was meant to scream. The penis standing above two walnuts encapsulated within a dripping sack with the texture of a freshly-picked peach. A throb-rate of 7,200 BPM makes it one of the highest throbbing members of its kind. At full speed, this organ sounds spectacular to my ears and almost makes my semen boil. That schlong assisted in winning numerous AGM (Anal Gang-banging Meisterschaft) Championships.

Back to what the cock looks like, one can’t help but take in its gorgeous, dazzling orange color. Analrot, the color’s name, covered only a few shafts. A color this bright almost signifies that the penis it lies upon sees a analway every now and then. Vivid and gleaming, so anything in its way can promptly spot it and bend over to let it pass. Personally, it sends a shiver up my spine just thinking about that shaft flying up behind me on the bed.

Ohhh... I'm so glad you could also share an experience similar to mine. :rofl:

[gazellebeigem3]

A throb-rate of 7,200 BPM makes it one of the highest throbbing members of its kind.

hahaha holy chit mang

[Digitalwave]

Good thread.

Great thread.

Written like a true over-embellished high schooler with a boner for a car he can't afford.

[AndrewBird]

Good thread.

Great thread.

Written like a true over-embellished high schooler with a boner for a car he can't afford.

I wouldn't own an e30 M3 if someone gave one to me. WAY to much maintnance, plus I wouold be constantly worried someting was going to happen to it. And as stated before, the prompt made me write it the way I did.

I just want the motor out of an M3... drool...

[AdironRider]

Wait dont you drive an mgb gt? And your bitching about maintenance. Hah! I laugh in your face.

[WlknGenius]

In all honesty, that was poorly written. You owe the e30 m3 proper grammar at the very least. Work on your logical structure and work on getting your thoughts to flow with each other better.

However, I still respect your appreciation for the car and I would have hated that sort of assignment. Good Work.

[AndrewBird]

In all honesty, that was poorly written. You owe the e30 m3 proper grammar at the very least. Work on your logical structure and work on getting your thoughts to flow with each other better.

However, I still respect your appreciation for the car and I would have hated that sort of assignment. Good Work.

Show me one grammatical error out of that. And as far as my writing goes, I've gotten better, but I don't exactly plan to become a writer, so I could care less.

And the only things that have gone wrong with my MG were aftermarket pieces. Maintenance is changing the oil and making sure the radiator is topped up.

[e30sd]

I was looking through some old school-papers and found this. It's paper I wrote about the e30 M3. Thought you guys might like it.

Art Through Bulges and Creases

Hennarot encompasses my vision. For a second, bright, orange, magnificent paint fills my eyes. Upon the restoration of my vision, my attention draws to the sterling polished lips and gunmetal-grey centers that compose of the BBS wheels. A work of art in themselves. Sharp lines and square edges define this car, all of which with a purpose, a meaning. Every minuscule piece on this work of art, created with purpose in mind. A BMW E30 M3 stands before me, crafted to race.

Gazing at the fenders of this car, I truly understanding what the designers had attempted to and did accomplish. In order to fit the massively wide ten-inch racing tires under the body work without modification, the fenders had to flare out. And flair out they do, stretching away from the car as if an explosion occurred underneath them, blowing the sheet metal outward. Creases top and bottom distinguish where these bulges start and end.

Clean, straight lines that seem to outline the body’s most excellent features, grab my interest next. Two lines run atop the hood, adding an almost scoop-like area in the center. Lines run down each side of the body, blending the fenders in with the doors and trunk lid. Even a line across the front air dam separates the valence from the lip. Everything so perfectly placed. Nothing on this car could change for the better.

I know all about this beauty’s heart, the crème de la resistance. A 195 horsepower, sixteen-valve four-cylinder. High revving, ferocious, and not for the timid of heart. A true beast of a motor. With a forged crank along with other high performance goodies, it was meant to scream. A redline of 7,200 RPM makes it one of the highest revving motors of its kind. At redline, this engine sounds spectacular to my ears and almost makes my blood boil. That engine assisted in winning numerous DTM (Deutsche Tourenwagen Meisterschaft) Championships.

Back to what the car looks like, one can’t help but take in its gorgeous, dazzling orange color. Hennarot, the color’s name, covered only a handful of M3’s. A color this bright almost signifies that the car it lies upon sees a raceway every now and then. Vivid and gleaming, so anything in its way can promptly spot it and move to let it pass. Personally, it sends a shiver up my spine just thinking about that car flying up behind me on the track.

In the DTM Championship, strict rules enforced everything including suspension, body work, and wheel size. Additionally, car manufactures had to produce a production model of the car they raced. Because of this, the artist (or artists in this case), BMW Motorsport, had to create a car so close to an already modified race car that they would only have to change meager details to make it a winning racer. So, the developers punched out the fenders, a new, innovative engine began life and other race features like bigger brakes, sportier suspension and improved aerodynamics found themselves incorporated into the car. These details gave the car its renowned reputation; the most legendary touring-car of all time.

Even today, this almost twenty-year-old sports sedan can perform equal to most other sports cars in its class. With a race-inspired pedigree and astounding looks, the E30 M3 deserves a title of art. But, like many pieces of art, not all will agree. Some will only see it as a car, just like any other. But others will view its true meaning: a machine built to dominate against its competitors.

there

too much use of passive voice and poor sentence construction. it flows like poo through a strainer.

[kommissar]

it flows like poo through a strainer.

Is that like poo after eating Taco Bell or like poo after eating pecan pie?

[Jand3rson]

I wouldn't own an e30 M3 if someone gave one to me. WAY to much maintnance, plus I wouold be constantly worried someting was going to happen to it.

Seconded. The only way I would own one is if I had a total garage queen like the one that shows up at the PNW Picnic every year, with like 70k original miles on it, the engine bay so clean you could lick every square inch of it and only taste metal, and I would only take it out on weekends. There's no way I'd ever consider DD'ing an E30 M3, unless it had an S50, and even then, I'd be too piss-scared that some stupid bitch in an H2 fixing her hair while driving with her knee would hit it.