The Official Drunk & Stupid Thread

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I need to go to Australia.

[Iain]

Aye, you do English.

Tis a fine barn you have, but tis no pool.

PS: this chair be high, says I.

[Jarvis]

I need to go to Australia.

x2.

I have a friend who is on her way there right now. She's going to school somewhere on the eastern coast 'til June. I'll have to tell her to look out for any young guys driving E30s... apparently that's where all the fun [aka booze] is at.

[Iain]

x2.

I have a friend who is on her way there right now. She's going to school somewhere on the eastern coast 'til June. I'll have to tell her to look out for any young guys driving E30s... apparently that's where all the fun [aka booze] is at.

Really? Got pics?

She isn't going to be near Sydney or Newcastle or Gosford is she?

Its an awfully long trip, she'll be thirsty when she gets here... need a drink or 20...

[Jarvis]

Really? Got pics?

She isn't going to be near Sydney or Newcastle or Gosford is she?

Its an awfully long trip, she'll be thirsty when she gets here... need a drink or 20...

Ha. I'll find her WebShots later.

I forget the exact place she's going. She's doing the study abroad program out of UMass Amherst, if that makes a difference... she pointed out the town on a map once, but I had been drinking so all I remember is the east coast of Australia.

She'll be in airports for about 2 full days before she actually gets there. And she drinks like an unemployed Irishman despite weighing like 110lbs.

[Iain]

she drinks like an unemployed Irishman .

Plenty of those in Sydney. Fuck my arse sideways with a rubber chicken holding an angle grinder, there are so many fucking backpackers and goddamn beatnicks out here driving beaten-up vans, refusing to shower, complaining about the beer and the heat and generally acting like a massive puss-filled, scab-laden vaginal infection to our great country.

I'm sure your friend is plenty nice, the Uni students normally rock, but the fucking English/Irish/NZ backpackers... drives me to drink!

[PeaveyBassist]

i am corrupting william

- Heeter

and will has to say:

fuck you guys

Will

[rede30]

sneeeky

[Simon S]

just before lunch hour, dozens of chickens swooped down from the sky in a rain of squawking, blood-thirsty terror. women screamed and grown men ran for cover while children ate ice cream and looked on in grim amusement.

‘why are the big people scared?’ wondered the children.. ‘those chickens are only about 4 feet tall and have eyes that glow red like the minions of hell.’

Toby, the eater of a fine butterscotch ice cream, threw down his cone and squared off with the lead chicken. the lead chicken’s name was Ian, ruler of Voltar.

‘go back to Voltar foul beast! you have no power here! take your poor excuse for parakeet friends and get out of here or i'll rip your balls off and wear them for earrings, you fuckin muther fucker you!!!’ this exclamation rather startled the blood-thirsty dick-tater of Voltar. while the hesitating, red-eyed minion stood there, Toby proceeded to whip out his pump-action sawed-off shot gun and began to unload it’s inventory of ammunition. Toby filled that bird so full of lead that when it was all done, the ruler of.. .

HOLY SHIT ! ! … there is a large, hairy, fuckin TARANTULA slowly crawling up my thigh ! ! I am extremely terrified now and must stop typing. sorry.

[permit]

I bitch about a glorious 12 page thread disappearing, then I remember I have this to turn to. Thank you.

[E30 Wagen]

I hate my life. I dont want to die. I just want to disappear.

[DEV0 E30]

Suicide watch now instated.

[rwh11385]

i started drinking at six. i just introduced a girl to tucker max, then shared some sexual comedy of my past. and best part is, she used to be my ex's friend so i forget why that is funnier

[robert325is]

my girlfriend is in vegas for a volleyball tournament for the weekend.

needless to say, i started drinking when i got out of school at 1


im am not drunk yet, but im eorking on it.

[permit]

I watched 'Domino' and drank a few shitty beers. Great movie.