Minutes after your morning coffee at work...

[Eviltwin]

...and ESPECIALLY if it's a Tim Horton's coffee (see: Canada's blood)...you get the delighfull pressure, and you certainly know a double logger is brewing and churning- a scramble for todays paper is no longer possible as precious ticks away, you walk quickly, yet without suspicion to lead people on that you're about to evacuate a fury of yesterday nights dinner in a porcelain bowl...

I'd like to let you all know, that I'm cresting right now, and assuming a 6-8 centimeter dialation is in full effect- I'm about to take that hurried walk to the handicapped stall at work, and grab onto the handle and unleash the savage hurricane of relief.

Extra Large Double Double, keeps the colon outta trouble!

[Farbin Kaiber]

This is not an ole' boy 4x4 forum. Please keep the scatalogical commentary to a minimum.

[Eviltwin]

This is not an ole' boy 4x4 forum. Please keep the scatalogical commentary to a minimum.

aye-yaye capitano.

no more stories about the poo-mountains I create.

[StereoInstaller1]

Yup, he wants PICTURES, not stories.

[Jon325i]

Yup, he wants PICTURES, not stories.

2 girls 1 cup anyone?

[BrewCity11]

2 girls 1 cup anyone?

Yuk.

I watched about .35 seconds of that. Woke up the next morning under my bed in the fetal position.

[joshh]

Well it is a diuretic.

[StereoInstaller1]

Yuk.

I watched about .35 seconds of that. Woke up the next morning under my bed in the fetal position.

in the fecal position?

[blunttech]

what a timely post. this morning i was late and jumped into my e30 and headed up to do my menial tasks at my building. i did a quick sensory check and determined i would be able to get up there, do my work and get home before i had to drop one. as i was ready to head back home i realized i mis calculated. the drive is about 6 miles and takes about 15 minutes at a leisurely pace. this morning i did not have the luxury of a leisurely pace. before i left i made a double shot of espresso with just enough milk to take the edge off. this was my mistake.
halfway home i noticed my speed involuntarily increasing as a subconscious force was telling me i didnt have long before disaster struck. i looked down and im doing 65mph in a 30 thru gods country as panic ensued. i made it home and kicked open the door like an episode of COPS raiding a crack house. i sprinted down the hall while tearing at the zipper and buttons in a synchronized effort to shave off milliseconds. i really should have taken a pic of this. unfortunately upon re entry it broke up but if i could have retrieved it from the bowl and pieced it back together archaeologist style on the tile floor i am certain it would be 24-28 inches long.
i had thoughts of stopping on the side of the road and hanging my ass off the side of my sport seat and dropping one on the yellow line. thank god i didnt have to

[scabzzzz]

Speaking of shitting at work. I do so at least once every day. Right? Ok.
I've got some problems with the bathroom etiquette where I work and I notice it a lot.

Everytime I walk into this 3 stall, 2 urinal bathroom and someone is shitting, why the fuck do they do one of these things:


1) Leave a fucking pube behind on the seat
2) Are talking on their cell phones whilst shitting
3) Not flushing after they break the deuce off so I can smell it (common courtesy)
4) Not flushing period and leaving a big bowl of shitty toilet paper and turds
5) Not washing hands after shitting or holding dick
6) Talking to me while I'm shitting or holding dick


Thank you.

[Eviltwin]

there is a delightfull India fellow who works here, whom is about 5'2 with a shock of grey hair...

what strikes me as odd, is when he heads to take a piss, his 1st stop will be the paper towel dispenser...than proceeds to take a leak while holding his peen, WITH the paper towels...
he'll finish up, toss the paper towels, and not wash his hands.

am I the only one that thinks this is jus weird?

or am I the ONLY one that DOESN'T do this?

[netcsk]

He must have one rank peen.

I wonder how he masturbates? Latex gloves?

[imsotyerred]

He must have one rank peen.

I wonder how he masturbates? Latex gloves?

gets a goat to do it for him

[E-Thirty]

I can't believe I just read through this.

[JGood]

1) Leave a fucking pube behind on the seat

Seriously. What are you people doing that hair is falling off your ball sac? Sit down, shit, and then GTFO. You shouldn't be rummaging through your forest looking for hidden treasures, causing pubes to fall on the seat. How does it get on the seat, anyway? Shouldn't you be sitting on the seat? Fuck.