Ugh...Divorce.

[Devil Inc]

So I dropped the "Big D" bomb on my wife on Saturday. I wish it would've been the other way around, but what's done is done. I'm a 23 year old guy, she is 24, we've been together for 7 years and married for a little bit over 3. I honestly feel that I missed out on an insurmountable(sp?) amount of stuff, because we got married so young. We don't have any children and that makes it a bit easier. I'm trying to look at the bright side of things if it exists. I will always love her, but she's not the one I see myself growing old with, if you get what I'm trying to say. I've had way too much stuff on my mind lately. I'm tired of putting my life/feelings off for everyone else only to hurt inside. She keeps wanting know why and honestly I have no tangible answer for her, other than, I'm not happy with myself. Now she is trying to pry answers out of anyone, either friend/family/enemy, is this typically what happens. Most have asked me if there is another woman involved on my end, and there isn't, I think they think I'm lying, but I'm not. I have my good friends, none of which are women that I'd consider being with, would be to awkward. Her mom told her to make a list of demands pretty much. My e30 is on that list and I would rather be shot in the face than let her have it. Not sure what I can do about it. I've beating myself up over this subject fo the past few months and couldn't take it anymore. I know there are a handful of older, insiteful people on this board.

I just need some advice. She started making promises by the truck load once I said what I had to say. I know that if I go back I will never be happy, it'll be a shoulda, woulda, coulda situation. My uncle is letting me crash at his house which is about 20 miles from mine.

How often does the guy drop the divorce onto the woman? I seem out of place for doing it but I needed to do it.

I know laws vary by state and county.

Thanks in advance for any help/advice.

[smonkbmw]

if the car is in your name, sell it to your uncle and sign it over quick. sign off the title and get a bill of sale.

[willsol]

Wow.. ok well I dropped the D word on my ex wife

Right now you are lucky with no kids.

Are you military??

Did you own the car before marriage?

Is your state a 50/50 split state?

You have been married a long time so its going to be hard to keep everything you want.

If you are ordered to pay spousal support - dont!!! if they want the money the courts will file for it out of your paycheck. Most of the time they dont bother even if they order you too.

does she work?

Did you have a prenup?

Do you have any joint checking accounts, savings accounts or credit cards?
if so take your half or more now and put them in separate account she cannot get to.

Do you have a home loan? Do you share any debt? Are you a cosigner on anything of hers?

There is a lot to this... GET A LAWYER!

Negotiate with the lawyer for a better price. being that you have no kids will make it dramatically cheaper. Try to get the lawyer to give you a flat fee for no matter how long it will take. Mine was 2gs but well worth it.

If you have anything in your name like CCs or bills shut them down and lock her out of them now and prevent her from going crazy and leaving you with a bunch of debt.

Does she have keys to anything important.. I.e. your E30 if so get them back or change the locks.

By the way a little joke but a little tid bit of truth.

Why are divorces so expensive?







Because they are worth it. :)

[E30Idea]

"Till death do us part"?

Did you take vows?

Divorce is not an option in my opinion. I have somewhat tight christian views on this and I will not judge. But think this through. This is a life altering decision you seem to have made on your own without seeking counsel. Just my 2 cents.
I hope this helps. Hang in there!

Ryan

[willsol]

if you have specific questions I can give you more specific answers other than that i will end up just rambling like I did above.

[willsol]

"Till death do us part"?

Did you take vows?

Divorce is not an option in my opinion. I have somewhat tight christian views on this and I will not judge. But think this through. This is a life altering decision you seem to have made on your own without seeking counsel. Just my 2 cents.
I hope this helps. Hang in there!

Ryan

no offense but I find it a little funny you mentioning Tight christian views yet have a pic describing a 3 some as a great thing in your sig.

I will not judge you though ;)

[willsol]

Besides if you want to get technical god knows all and sees all.

When I decided to get divorced from my ex, I was at peace with the decision due to the fact I know God could see that she was not right for me and that she was a drain on both my heart and soul and not only effected me but my friends, family and work in a negative way.

It also made me feel good to believe and know that I did not need the approval of a mortal man for the decision that I made because I prayed and knew that what I was doing was right for both her and I.

I know who I love and who I dont... I know whats inside myself and God can see that.

I hope the Original poster has the same confidence in his choice.

[E30Idea]

no offense but I find it a little funny you mentioning Tight christian views yet have a pic describing a 3 some as a great thing in your sig.

I will not judge you though ;)

LOL, I knew that was coming. A sig is an image, not a lifestyle. I dont claim to be perfect, or correct in my remark to the original post. It was mearly my view on his post. But thanks for taking this off topic.

[E30Idea]

Besides if you want to get technical god knows all and sees all.

When I decided to get divorced from my ex, I was at peace with the decision due to the fact I know God could see that she was not right for me and that she was a drain on both my heart and soul and not only effected me but my friends, family and work in a negative way.

It also made me feel good to believe and know that I did not need the approval of a mortal man for the decision that I made because I prayed and knew that what I was doing was right for both her and I.

I know who I love and who I dont... I know whats inside myself and God can see that.

I hope the Original poster has the same confidence in his choice.

I can agree with some of what you said. I am not saying that all divorce is wrong. I am only saying that his reasoning seems to be a bit bleak. I want him to think this through before he reacts. That is all. Sorry if I come off argumentative. I dont mean to.

[willsol]

LOL, I knew that was coming. A sig is an image, not a lifestyle. I dont claim to be perfect, or correct in my remark to the original post. It was mearly my view on his post. But thanks for taking this off topic.

I know it was too tempting to pass up. If the OP has any questions though, PM me or post here and I will try to help.

A divorce is never an easy thing in any way and I know its a hard choice to make, so all the help he can get will be useful.

[E30Idea]

A divorce is never an easy thing in any way..... so all the help he can get will be useful.

Agreed! ;)

[willsol]

I can agree with some of what you said. I am not saying that all divorce is wrong. I am only saying that his reasoning seems to be a bit bleak. I want him to think this through before he reacts. That is all. Sorry if I come off argumentative. I dont mean to.

No worries you're fine

[StereoInstaller1]

Hey man...sorry to hear you thinking about the big D.

Seriously think about the whole picture before you split.

If you go through with it, great. If not, great. Either way, take a long look in the mirror and look for YOUR part of what went wrong.

Yeah, we know, she changed. She did this and that, she could have blah blah blah bullshit...seriously man, look for what YOUR part was. You will heal quicker, you will make less mistakes in your next relationship.

Remember too that "Ex-sex" is the best fuck you will ever have. Believe it!

My opinion on marriage is that if it were as hard to get married as it is to get divorced, I would be all for it. No less than $50,000 cash down (PLUS the wedding) and no less than 5 years before you can get married. This would end 99.9% of all marriages, and 100% of all divorces.

[E30Idea]

Hey man...sorry to hear you thinking about the big D.

Seriously think about the whole picture before you split.

If you go through with it, great. If not, great. Either way, take a long look in the mirror and look for YOUR part of what went wrong.

Yeah, we know, she changed. She did this and that, she could have blah blah blah bullshit...seriously man, look for what YOUR part was. You will heal quicker, you will make less mistakes in your next relationship.

Remember too that "Ex-sex" is the best fuck you will ever have. Believe it!

My opinion on marriage is that if it were as hard to get married as it is to get divorced, I would be all for it. No less than $50,000 cash down (PLUS the wedding) and no less than 5 years before you can get married. This would end 99.9% of all marriages, and 100% of all divorces.

/ thread

Quoted for truthfullness.

[willsol]

From Mr Ben Fold himself off of his new album

intro to Bitch went nuts- Song is great by the way

Imagine in old asian man voice -

The answer you seek my son, pose more question
There is no one simple answer
Ask many women why relationship has failed
Each woman offer unique reason for demise
One woman might say, “Man could not commit”
Or, “Man is douche and now is free to make love to oneself constantly(?)”
Another woman might say, “Man had changed”
Or even offers that woman had changed
“Man was initially or had become complacent”
“Man no longer satisfactory guy”
But my son, ask many men same question all over the world
“Why has relationship failed?”
Each man each time will give same simple answer...

THE BITCH WENT NUTS!