Ugh...Divorce.

[el_gringo]

So I dropped the "Big D" bomb on my wife on Saturday. I wish it would've been the other way around, but what's done is done. I'm a 23 year old guy, she is 24, we've been together for 7 years and married for a little bit over 3. I honestly feel that I missed out on an insurmountable(sp?) amount of stuff, because we got married so young. We don't have any children and that makes it a bit easier. I'm trying to look at the bright side of things if it exists. I will always love her, but she's not the one I see myself growing old with, if you get what I'm trying to say. I've had way too much stuff on my mind lately. I'm tired of putting my life/feelings off for everyone else only to hurt inside. She keeps wanting know why and honestly I have no tangible answer for her, other than, I'm not happy with myself. Now she is trying to pry answers out of anyone, either friend/family/enemy, is this typically what happens. Most have asked me if there is another woman involved on my end, and there isn't, I think they think I'm lying, but I'm not. I have my good friends, none of which are women that I'd consider being with, would be to awkward. Her mom told her to make a list of demands pretty much. My e30 is on that list and I would rather be shot in the face than let her have it. Not sure what I can do about it. I've beating myself up over this subject fo the past few months and couldn't take it anymore. I know there are a handful of older, insiteful people on this board.

I just need some advice. She started making promises by the truck load once I said what I had to say. I know that if I go back I will never be happy, it'll be a shoulda, woulda, coulda situation. My uncle is letting me crash at his house which is about 20 miles from mine.

How often does the guy drop the divorce onto the woman? I seem out of place for doing it but I needed to do it.

I know laws vary by state and county.

Thanks in advance for any help/advice.

sign the e30 over to a friend or family member, have it hidden. get a "bill of sale" for $10. sounds crazy? if she wins half, she only gets 5$. if she wins all, its only $10. and when all said is done, get it back.

obviously the bitch has issues if she will go cut-throat with her waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles of a mother wanting everything that means something to you. a real woman who loves you would NEVER do that. good thing your getting out now. god knows what it would be like if you had children and were in too deep.

goodluck.

[Devil Inc]

el_gringo, I see what your saying, yes it would be infinitely harder if we had children. She keeps emailing me and calling but I already told her numerous times that I will talk when I am ready.

Aptyp, I thought too of separating and going different ways for a while, but I don't think she will give me a second of peace. I just want some breathing room to sort my issues out. I just am not able to do that in her presence.

[kylebes1]

Sounds like you are on your period. If you have dated since your were 16 then you missed on innumerable opportunities to explore the world and waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles around you. In 6 months you will want her back because you are used to being with someone, even if that someone is less than ideal.

If you pull the trigger on the D don't miss the mark. You probably wont be able to quit all the way since you already should you could not commit all the way.

You could try to cheat on her and see if you can live with yourself or if it makes you want to love her more.

[Turf1600]

Lots of advice from jaded people on here it seems. IMO you'll regret it forever if you do it. I know WAY too many people who wish they had their first love back. Among all of the people I've met over the years that's the #1 regret. It seems like you've already admitted this is stemming from your own personal problems. First off, those issues will be tough enough to deal with. Dealing with those same issues while also dealing with the effects of ending a 7 year relationship will be much harder. Best of luck to you though. I feel bad for your ex.

[willsol]

I'll see your Ben Folds, and raise you Ben Folds Five:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URz1qJ3aC4M

-Charlie

That was my divorce song... lol

When I got divorced my ex still had a T-shirt I let her use when I graduated basic training that had all of my guys names on it from boot camp.
And it was black...




for the OP - Counseling is never a bad idea also read a book called the 5 love languages, I read that with my current with and it has really helped make our relationship stronger right from the get go.

[SamE30e]

Sounds like the same thing that happend to my and my girlfriend of 3 years. I thought there was more out there. Tried it out, turns out I lost the one person who knew me better then anyone, knew what I would say in any given situation, and what I was thinking. I mean that was a year ago and I'm over it and don't want it back because she turned into a giant bitch but it was all because of one stupid thought that I never thinked throughly enough.

Think about it and get outside opinions.

[el_gringo]

el_gringo, I see what your saying, yes it would be infinitely harder if we had children. She keeps emailing me and calling but I already told her numerous times that I will talk when I am ready.

Aptyp, I thought too of separating and going different ways for a while, but I don't think she will give me a second of peace. I just want some breathing room to sort my issues out. I just am not able to do that in her presence.

look at it like this: are you going to miss her? or how things were when you were with her? the normal routine will be gone, thats for sure. thats the major shock people dont understand.

[SpecM]

Love, and more so marrage, is too imprtant to me to walk away from. I'm not saying that you didn't/aren't trying, but look harder at WHY this happened (you being unhappy is not an answer). I'm sure you have, but think this through really good, it IS a big deal. Just cuz it happens to 1/2 of marrages doesn't make it OK (again... not hateing here... just my $.02).

That all being said, I'm in a happy marrage, so my view of it is different than yours

Good luck either way dude

[s0urce]

You need to get laid dude. You were way too young to get married. Get an attorney.

/thread

[jflip2002]

Ive never been married, or divorced (obviously). But I kind of understand what you are feeling. Im only 24, and have been with my girlfriend since I was 20 and she was 17 (yes, 17 year old waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles is good when youre 20, probably is now too). Things have always been great, she doesnt do anything to deserve my negative attitude. The only time I ever consider ending our relationship is after Im done having a good time with just the guys, I see hot bitches EVERYWHERE around here, or I want to be selfish with my money. Its never her, just my selfishness.

Ive broken up with Rachel a couple times, only to find myself very lonely, and more importantly missing her a lot. You have your friends, family, etc. But they dont give you the same kind of feeling and love that a good gf/wife should. If she doesnt give you that feeling, then I guess the choice is easy. Id give it a little bit of time without her, maybe stay at your uncles for a little, see how things are.

Now I can not say that you are in the same situation that I am. But if you divorce her, you will very well just end up in this situation years down the road, yet again. There doesnt seem like a real REASON to divorce her (fucked your brother, spends your cash, trashes the E30). Im not for or against divorce, do whatever makes you happy. I just think you owe it to yourself, your future relationships, and ESPECIALLY HER to try your best to work things out.

Just my $.02, and good luck bud.

[Turf1600]

Ive never been married, or divorced (obviously). But I kind of understand what you are feeling. Im only 24, and have been with my girlfriend since I was 20 and she was 17 (yes, 17 year old waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles is good when youre 20, probably is now too). Things have always been great, she doesnt do anything to deserve my negative attitude. The only time I ever consider ending our relationship is after Im done having a good time with just the guys, I see hot bitches EVERYWHERE around here, or I want to be selfish with my money. Its never her, just my selfishness.

Now I can not say that you are in the same situation that I am. But if you divorce her, you will very well just end up in this situation years down the road, yet again. Im not for or against divorce, do whatever makes you happy. I just think you owe it to yourself, your future relationships, and ESPECIALLY HER to try your best to work things out.

Just my $.02, and good luck bud.

You'll find out though that most of those hot chicks are fucking retards. And if they don't seem like retards at first either they will reveal themselves as idiots later or do something else stupid. The good ones get snatched up early.

EDIT: To the OP: Pics or ban

[jflip2002]

EDIT: To the OP: Pics or ban

+2. Thats also why I got my GF when she was illegal. I figured Id have to snag it early.

[Money$hit]

holla we want prenup, we want pre nup yeahhhh
its somethin that you need to have
because when she leaves your ass
she gonna leave with half

jk. Make sure to get a high powered lawyer who gives a fuck. My dad got fucked by going with a guy who was apathetic. If you are gonna do it, do it right.

[jflip2002]

Just dont go Scott Peterson on her.

[SpecM]

Just dont go Scott Peterson on her.

for sure, the last you need is some lawyer (and local PD and FBI) after YOUR ass