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Dude I was laughing so hard reading that LOL. It improved my somewhat shitty day, Thanks!Leave a comment:
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Dude, what a great fucking story! I just laughed out loud here in the middle of work reading this. Great detail, too!
Plus, all the bystanders talking about butt-fucking random chicks is great as well. In my days it was rare to find a chick willing to take it in the pooper. No it's a form of safe sex!Leave a comment:
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hahahahaha, that's fucking legendary, I did something similar to one of my buddies. (as he was asleep, I fucked the shit LITERALLY out of a highschool girl who lost a bet and had to put out for talking shit.) When i was finished i pulled out and spout of ass juice came out onto her underwear............Leave a comment:
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Lol, thats greatness. Definitely couldnt have happened in black board shorts, right? lol.
The summer after high school, I fell asleep on my boy andyroos bed, I was so drunk. I woke up, and he was fucking this hot slut in her ass, right next to me. She got up, pulled up her white pants, and within 5 minutes had a dookie stain that bled through them... Similar stories for you two. lolLeave a comment:
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I wish you would have vomited all over yourself when you fell into the shit. Then told your friends a dead body flew out of a tree and scared you so bad that you shit yourself and then threw up because of the rotting corpus.
They would have been scared all night and you would just be laughing on the insideLeave a comment:
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Funny story.
I wish I was driving down that road at that time with a camera.Leave a comment:
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poop and white shorts do not mix
Everyone I've told this story to has found it pretty funny so I figured I would share it with R3V.
Last summer, a couple of my friends and I went up to a small lake near Lake Shasta (Lake Siskiyou) to camp and have a good time before all of us go our seperate ways with college and whatnot.
We were all relaxing on the beach one afternoon, and I got extremely bored. The beach is about 1.5 miles away from our campsite, so we had driven one car to the beach. I was the only one who wanted to go back the the campsite and start cooking so I could eat, but no one else wanted to. They all wanted to stay another hour or so, so I said "Fuck it, I'm walking back". We agreed to meet at the campsite in an hour, and I started walking. About 100 yards down the road I get hit with fat stomach cramps and I know I have to take a huge shit. I could've walked back to the beach, which was again only 100 yards away, but I was stubborn and thought I could make it back to the campsite and the bathrooms there. So I clench my buttcheeks together and the cramps go away.
Every 30 seconds or so, I get another wave of cramps. You know when you have to squeeze your buttcheeks together and you have to stand in one place otherwise you'll crap? Ya, that was me. I didn't wanna prarie dog it, since I had an inkling it was gonna be a wet one, so I held it in. I finally couldn't take it anymore and ran into the woods by the side of the road. I got behind a fat tree and pulled down by white boardshorts. I squatted and let loose the grossest crap ever. It was like a disgusting, wet cowpie and just like plopped onto the ground. In my moment of glory and relief, I forgot that when you do #2, you also have to do #1.
Imagine this, I am squatting with my boardshorts around my knees, so basically my butt is just hanging out. When I pee'd, I pee'd all over my knees and legs and shorts, and in my suprise I kinda hopped back to get away from it and lost my balance. I basically landed on my own crap. So here I am with urine all over my legs, and watery poo all over my white boardshorts. I'm so amazed at my predicament that I kinda chuckle at how fucked this is.
I tough it out and start walking back to my campsite, which is still over a mile away. RIGHT as I get onto the road, my damn sandal thong breaks, so now I have to basically drag my foot along the ground to keep the sandal on it. So here I am, walking over a mile on a main road with cars passing me, with brown diarrhea all over my white shorts, dragging my foot like a gimp so I don't lose my sandal. I have no idea what the drivers who saw me were thinking, but I kinda would like to know.
Needless to say, my friends couldn't stop laughing for the longest time after I told them.
cliffs: fall in my own poo with white shorts, have to walk a mile back home on a main road with a broken sandal and shit all over me.
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