Most Awkward Mom situations

[Maluco]

[payney8]

Lol

[h0lmes]

Mine isn't my mom, but rather my dad. But it's worth sharing.

It was a Monday afternoon, late Spring. These 2 girls I know who live 2 towns over call me up around 11am, saying they're all dressed up, want to skip outta school, and want me to come get them. I had given my dad the E30 for the morning. So I sadly had to tell them no dice, and went back to doing shit all.

A couple hours later, the doorbell rings. Both of them are standing there, laughing. Turns out they actually took a cab all the way over. Cool. Grab a couple drinks, everyone's a little tipsy by 2pm.

Then the fun starts. I know they're both freaks, I've seen them messing around with other girls in the past, but never with each other. Turns out they're not too shy. Before I know what's up they're making out, riping each other's clothes off, and telling me to get in on this. Word. I hold it down like a champ and within minutes I'm taking turns plowing each one. Gotta say, this is a lot of guy's fantasy, and it's seriously just as fun as you think it is in real life. We're flippin all over the place, they're still grabbing and licking, the whole nine.

So now I'm laying down flat on the couch in the basement, with one of them riding my cock and the other one sitting on my face. It's fucking amazing. Then my dad jogs down the stairs.

Yup, my dad. Didn't even pause when he saw what was going on. The three of us froze in our respective positions, unable to come up with any better of a plan due to how fast he showed up. So I have both hands behind my head holding this chick's ass down onto my face, another girl mounted reverse cowgirl, and my dad just strolled by 1' away from us to head to the tool cabinet. Ummmm.

He acts as if nothing is going on at all, and jogs back up the stairs. Within 30 seconds, I hear him in the backyard working on something. Wtf? Alright so obviously I've gone completely soft from this situation, and since I've had my fun decide it's time to take the ladies home. They agree, and we all get dressed PRONTO.

I peek around the corner as I get to the top of the stairs, and see he's still in the backyard, mowing the lawn now. Perfect. We run to the front, slip on our shoes, I grab the E30 keys, and we run out the door.

Just as we get to the driveway...dad walks around the corner. Son of a.

"Hey Jay, are you still going to meet your brother over at the park later?"
"Um, yeah, sure, just after I drop them home"
"Alright cool!"

He had this hilarious smile on the whole time. Like I'd made him the proudest dad on earth. That, at my 18 years of age, he knew he had raised me right.

He never brought it up again. A day action-packed with glory, embarassment, and utter confusion and iced with fatherly pride. Overall I think it went well, hah!



Cliffs: Two chicks come over, hot as hell threesome goes down, dad walks in on it like nothing is going on, dad is then silently proud of 18 y/o son.

That is some Lord of the Rings style fantasy shit right there.

[Desaevious]

Why is your dad calling you a dick?

If your name is Dick, thats awesome and shitty at the same time!

As said, he's a sarcastic bastard haha. He thought calling me names would keep me from being a waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles when I'd be called that by random kids in school.

[Alkasquawlik]

A+ thread.
would read again

[mrsleeve]

never been caught, doing anything remotely "objectionable" by my parents or my friends parents. I pretty much had my own house at 17, so I had plenty of privacy so to speak. I was the good kid among my friends, when ever their parents needed help with some thing they would ask me to help out rather than their kids (no mechanical ability in those guys lol)

[E30Inspired]

Funny stuff

[mtechnik]

I would have wanted to die in some of those situations.

With exception of Mystikal's off course :razz:

[rThor432]

Cliffs: Two chicks come over, hot as hell threesome goes down, dad walks in on it like nothing is going on, dad is then silently proud of 18 y/o son.

Although I'd say I never got "caught", I did the threesome thing with a couple of chicks on my brother's water bed back in high school.

They talked about it and it eventually got around to him. He'll never live that one down and couldnt ever 1-up me. He still brings it up at family occasions, I think it entertains him to create an awkward silence.

No mom or dad stuff, I was always too slick for that.

[Ray Smoodiver]

I'm out at the local bars, I'm 18, and I'm being sweated on by this girl whom is sort of a family friend. We'll call her Liz, because that's what her name was. She's a couple of years older than me, her father knows my father through the legal community, we went to the same school and same parties etc etc.

I know she seriously wants a piece of the Smoodiver, but my dilemma is that, well, she's a little on the plus size. We're not talking chew your own arm off in the morning and claim a grizzly got you on the way to bible studies, but more like riding a moped, fun till your friends catch you.

She's cornered me in a bar that has copious amounts of pool tables (a plus), but almost no other women in the joint (a minus). Liz is bringing over rather large glasses of Southern Comfort, Amaretto and cranberry, which is a personal favorite drink of mine. I'm guessing at this stage she has worked out I drink them rather quickly as A) they're tasty, and B) there is no carbonation.

After several of these delicious concoctions, I'm starting to warm to the idea of some waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles, and due to the fact that the bar is devoid of anything over a 7, Liz is starting to look like a safe pair of hands.

We taxi back to her place while she "tailler une pipe", this is never good in a taxi drunk, as I had to get the driver to drive around for $25 dollars more than was really necessary, but whatever, fuck him. I'm sure he watched the whole time and I tipped well.

We're standing outside her house when she notices that her mother is still awake, in the living room. There is NO WAY we can not get up to her room undetected, or more importantly, me out of there in the morning without either waking up beside her or being spotted by her parents.

We decide to walk back to my place, which is usually about 25 minutes, and ends up being an hour and a half, two front yards and one thorn bush. We finally arrive and I enter the front door, alone, as my parents bedroom is right next to the hall and seeing as I was on break from college, it probably wasn't a great idea to waltz a girl in the front door without the proper formalities being attended to.

I reach my room, throw on some Jimmy Dale Gilmore, 'cause I'm pretty sober by know and I realize it's too late to back out and I am more than definitely going to regret this in the morning. I open my doors and sneak round the side of the house to let her in the gate and back down into my room. We go at it a few times and pass out in the early hours of the morning.

I awake to my door crashing open, and Liz manages to shoot her head under the covers just in time. My mother is standing there, almost with a half grin on her face, but I can't work out why. She asks me if I saw Liz last night. I reply in the afirmative and get lobbed a grenade; "she didn't come home last night, do you know where she is, her mother is absolutely distraught"

At this point Liz pops her head out from under the covers and my mother loses it completely, falling into hysterics. Through fits and laughter and gaps for air, she throws the phone on the bed and manages to say "Oh, and Liz's mother is on the phone" before throwing the phone down and leaving my room, and leaving me me confused as all hell.

After I drive her home and return to base, my mother tells me that Liz's mother saw us standing outside her house the previous night, called her, and so she decided to mess with me in the morning. Tupping a heifer and then having your mother walk in. Awkward.

[xwill112x]

Yeah... She thought it was funny apparently to put weed in my bag. I never even noticed it, probably because I was high as a fuckin kite in high school.

Scenerio:
Mom takes weed from her bag (dirt). Puts weed in my bag (chronic). Laughs. Tells coworkers. They laugh at me. I get high. They laugh some more.

i wish i lived in your house!:hitler:

[Desaevious]

Smoodiver I laughed at yours harder than most others.

[Mystikal]

I know she seriously wants a piece of the Smoodiver, but my dilemma is that, well, she's a little on the plus size. We're not talking chew your own arm off in the morning and claim a grizzly got you on the way to bible studies

Got the breeze from the swag on that one.

[Ray Smoodiver]

Glad I could help :D. Jay, yours is awesome!

[Jparkr]

I almost got caught by my first girlfriend's mom
We were fucking in here room, which had a window right by the lower gravel driveway. It was the only driveway they used so we always felt safe, but still always listened for cars coming up.
Well I had my ankles under me sitting on my knees and she was on top. and next this I know we hear the garage door open. I was like oh shit what do I do? because all my cloths were in the bathroom, where the fun started, right next to her room. she says get in the shower! She jumps off me and I stand up to sprint into the shower while her mom is walking in.

Well I didn't really realize it but my legs were asleep.
I stood up fast and toke one giant leap into the hallway, when I landed my numb ankle folded over and I went DOWN!
I Crawled my naked ass across the floor and flipped into the tub like a fucking grenade was about to go off. She closed the door softly behind me trying not to laugh. I flicked on the water and laid there under the shower in immense pain of rug burns, Leg tingles from them being asleep and a lightly sprained ankle.

Her mom had just forgotten her phone, so we got to finish. But I still don't know why she chose to take the upper driveway.