need gf advice

[Desaevious]

I tried to change a girl once (cute cheerleader, even had back dimples!). She was from a few towns away so I thought there would be no repercussions. The girl was crazy for me but her constant smoking of pot kept me from being involved. I've never smoked once nor drank and I held by that code and I didn't want to worry about having a girl that could get herself in trouble because of such things. Even though I hung out with her and she said she'd stop smoking she didn't. Like in your case, it was the friends. You can't fight the friends away and say "I don't think you should hang out with..." That will make things worse. I tried to get her to change but that only led her to hating me entirely and trying "tougher" drugs. I check on the girl's facebook every now and then...she's a train wreck now.

Give her a while...but if you two are still together at "month 6" and she isn't cleaned up entirely, move on. Fast fowarding it will suck to see that you couldn't help her. But by that time her mistakes will be hers alone to deal with.

[SamE30e]

I know how you feel kinda, my ex left me for a coke head.

The weed would be alright once in a while, but the coke puts it over the edge IMO. She's definitely gorgeous. Try and get her to stop, but that probably won't work if she is closer with her friends then you.

[Stephen]

I whole-heartedly agree with Liam... unfortanately

[Peterkaczynski]

yea the break will create distance so i have to be there forr her as much as i can and help her with this, i think well be ok and like you said Desaevious if she isnt cleared but in the near future it will be time to move on

[joshuaaa]

yea the break will create distance so i have to be there forr her as much as i can and help her with this, i think well be ok and like you said Desaevious if she isnt cleared but in the near future it will be time to move on

i would suggest you surprise her and pick her up for breakfast or something when you know shes for sure sober completely. and have a real talk with her. just explain how you feel and if she doesnt understand where your coming from, then shes not as into the relationship as you are.

i would just make sure you figure out what shes feeling early on. so you dont end up setting yourself up for heartbreak.

[Peterkaczynski]

she has work till 2 tomorrow FTL
and its easter and i have to wrok till late =\

[kimmelks]

Its an integrity issue. She told you one thing and did another, where will it stop? When your bank account is drained? Car in a ditch? All your shit is gone? Seriously, once the trust is broken you cant fix that.

[Peterkaczynski]

^ thats why i have to get it before its to late and if i cant do that then maybe she isnt for me.
and kimmelks didnt something like this happen to you recently? just without the drugs?

[h0lmes]

All this over a little weed and blow? A little insecure are we?

Just dump her if it's that big of a deal to you. You're going to learn that you can't change people and personally I think it's ridiculous that you're making demands of her. Shes not going to change and I don't blame her. If she started making demands to you would you just start doing everything she said? I hope not.

[geezerman402]

Now this topic reminds me of how an ex started doing drugs (mushrooms, ecstacy, and pot), I asked her to stop... so she dumped me and dated a drug dealer.

And then my best friend.

[daniel]

The only solution for a situation like this is A: accept her as she is or B: leave her as she is.

[Stephen]

All this over a little weed and blow?

Conflicting views on the topic of drugs and trust is a pretty big deal in a relationship thats serious IMO.

['90 325is]

Had a similar problem with my girlfriend. she got hammered a few times and then one night her friends were trying to get her to do drugs. well i wasnt with her but i called her and convinced her not to. now she hasnt tried anything for a very long time. 2 uncles commited suicide for weed so i have absolutely no tolerance for this and when she realized it she left immediately. just use examples of how bad it is for you and how so many have died and maybe it will hit home with her and she will stop. best of luck and God bless.

[416stroker]

wow sounds like a fun girl... Pot who gives a fuck. cokes fun from time to time if used correctly lol.

[kimmelks]

^ thats why i have to get it before its to late and if i cant do that then maybe she isnt for me.
and kimmelks didnt something like this happen to you recently? just without the drugs?

yep, the wife couldnt take being a navy wife and I couldnt take dealing with her bullshit. There was communication problems and not so much lying but telling of half-truths and "not the whole story" type deal. So, after much debate she said she wasn't happy and needed to go and figure out what she was looking for in life and I am cool with that since I have a carrier and I saw this comming. not the end of the world. Like someone said a second ago, you cant change people and you can either take her as she is or leave her as she is. I may have not been the worlds best husband but god damn it I am one hell of a drunken sailor.