Weird tasting puss.

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  • DTM190
    E30 Enthusiast
    • Nov 2008
    • 1107

    #136
    Talk about "egg" on your face


    Sorry couldnt help it
    Your signature picture has been removed since it contained the Photobucket "upgrade your account" image.


    Originally posted by der affe
    first try a finger or 2, you need to have them suck on it first and get it nice and wet to help it slip in.

    if she goes for that, astroglide up your pole, have her lay on her stomach and slip it in slowly and bury it to your balls and leave it there until she relaxes. once she is used to it slam that ass like a screen door.

    Comment

    • CleanAzzE30z
      R3V OG
      • Jan 2004
      • 11794

      #137
      Suddenly the thread took a turn off of "Awesomely funny highway" and traversed the interchange onto "Interstate grotesquely offputting"....


      2001 Titaniumsilber 540i Sport 6-Speed
      1990 Diamantschwarz Alpha-N 2.5L ///M3
      1986 Alpinweiss 325e M50B25 (R.I.P.)

      -Talk to me when more sound comes from the induction than from the exhaust...

      -Argentina........lo mas grande que hay.

      Comment

      • DTM190
        E30 Enthusiast
        • Nov 2008
        • 1107

        #138


        "We put the good things in so you'll wear the dolmio grin"

        Last edited by DTM190; 05-19-2011, 08:09 PM. Reason: doh
        Your signature picture has been removed since it contained the Photobucket "upgrade your account" image.


        Originally posted by der affe
        first try a finger or 2, you need to have them suck on it first and get it nice and wet to help it slip in.

        if she goes for that, astroglide up your pole, have her lay on her stomach and slip it in slowly and bury it to your balls and leave it there until she relaxes. once she is used to it slam that ass like a screen door.

        Comment

        • long tall eta
          E30 Mastermind
          • Jul 2010
          • 1536

          #139
          Originally posted by Fusion
          I was at a party one time and at like 3am we started telling sex stories. One of the guys I didn't know was all quiet and shy the whole time, but sipping some vodka. A while later, after a few shots he starts talking "I guess I'll tell you mine. I was drunk and ronching this one chick's waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles and the whole time, my face felt a little weird, like I had a thin layer of glue on it. Thought it was the waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles juice, so I kept going, but I didn't like the smell. She's all enjoying it and stuff. About 15 mins later, I was thirsty as hell so I told her I'd go to the bathroom and have a quick drink. It was dark so I turned on the light in the bathroom, walked in and saw my face in the mirror. It was like a scene from Saw. I just froze in shock, then started yelling. She heard it of course, ran in and sterted yelling even more. I was so fucked, I put a shirt over my head and without washing my face, ran out of the house and down the street, people staring at what was going on. We never talked again."
          The rest of us just sat there in awe and had to drink A LOT more to get over that one.
          That's earning your red wings
          sigpic

          Comment

          • Sputnik
            E30 Modder
            • Jan 2010
            • 808

            #140
            Originally posted by Fusion
            Soooo... any experience with crimson river floods?
            ...Yeah, run for the hills ;)

            Comment

            • The Volta
              Grease Monkey
              • Oct 2008
              • 321

              #141
              Originally posted by Fusion
              Soooo... any experience with crimson river floods?
              Meh, the crimson floods don't bother me. All the girls I have been with have been clean, I guess I am lucky. These smells that you are talking about are making me think twice.

              My Build

              Comment

              • expressfish
                E30 Addict
                • May 2008
                • 526

                #142
                Originally posted by mrsleeve
                fell off the couch in 8th grade trying one time, No was NOT successful
                [sigpic

                Comment

                • onaquest
                  E30 Modder
                  • Nov 2005
                  • 805

                  #143
                  Originally posted by devon.818
                  you know its not mandatory to eat it right?

                  my buddy used to bitch all the time that his girls clam tasted funky and smelled weird...i never understood why he kept going back for more....

                  yeah if my fingers smell bad i stop, then i stick my fingers in her mouth and ask her if it tastes good, thats my nice way of saying "you have a dirty fucking waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles, now shower."
                  holy shit. The 2nd part here is ingenious.
                  http://bbswheels.blogspot.com

                  Comment

                  • DTM190
                    E30 Enthusiast
                    • Nov 2008
                    • 1107

                    #144
                    Anyone ever had Fish Curry?

                    I was warned off an Indian chick by a mate due to her vag smelling of curry,

                    Again I should have listened,

                    I see Fish Curry on a menu and I gag now
                    Your signature picture has been removed since it contained the Photobucket "upgrade your account" image.


                    Originally posted by der affe
                    first try a finger or 2, you need to have them suck on it first and get it nice and wet to help it slip in.

                    if she goes for that, astroglide up your pole, have her lay on her stomach and slip it in slowly and bury it to your balls and leave it there until she relaxes. once she is used to it slam that ass like a screen door.

                    Comment

                    • Farbin Kaiber
                      Lil' Puppet
                      • Jul 2007
                      • 29502

                      #145
                      Originally posted by mrsleeve
                      What can I say. I have been stuck in motel for the last week with nothing to do but post on here as the TV in this place SUCKS ass, I am like the new temporary farbin.
                      Somebody has got to do it while I'm on flood patrol. Maybe you are my Alter-Ego, my own Tyler Durden. Right now I'm busy being Farbin's tired, blistered palms. Thanks for the autopilot.

                      (So many views, and home base location just might make some r3v'ers contemplate the notion.)

                      Comment

                      • imsotyerred
                        R3VLimited
                        • Oct 2005
                        • 2529

                        #146
                        BRUTE

                        Comment

                        • Simon S
                          No R3VLimiter
                          • Oct 2004
                          • 3758

                          #147
                          good times
                          -----Zen and the Art of e30 Maintenance - / - Zen TOC - / - Zen Summary

                          Comment

                          • BrownBeanE30
                            E30 Modder
                            • Nov 2010
                            • 965

                            #148
                            Originally posted by Mlarsen
                            the rule of thumb I heard was (and I thought was a bit off):
                            If it smells like fish make it a dish
                            If it smells like cologne leave it alone.

                            I'm not sure how true that really is.
                            quoted lol
                            Originally posted by InuFaye
                            silver is old man color car. you need dat BRO-SECA BLUE.
                            Originally posted by blunttech
                            so true.. never let them know where you live..I almost ended up in jail when I was raping young women on craigslist
                            Originally posted by george graves
                            An S5x is like the girl you want to marry - an m30 is the girl you don't bring home to mom.

                            Comment

                            • bloodshot-e30
                              E30 Fanatic
                              • Mar 2010
                              • 1494

                              #149
                              haha and thats why i love my girl ;)
                              sigpic
                              ^Back in the game^
                              BUILD THREAD: http://www.r3vlimited.com/board/showthread.php?t=201281
                              FS thread:
                              http://www.r3vlimited.com/board/showthread.php?t=214105

                              Comment

                              • der affe
                                Moderator
                                Technical
                                • Dec 2005
                                • 8452

                                #150
                                as of last night i am 2 for 2 on vegitarian box tasting good. i think i am seeing a pattern.

                                the first one switched and it actually tasted better after.

                                and yes, they both ate my "meat" and the subsequent "meat juice"

                                she told me, "oh, i eat THAT meat!"
                                seien Sie größer, als Sie erscheinen


                                Your signature picture has been removed since it contained the Photobucket "upgrade your account" image.

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