Cops with a sense of humor

[Quadrajet]

For the most part if you're respectful, but not kissing their butt, you may get away with some stuff. I've been pulled over 26 times, but only had 6 citations. This is not counting the random, "You're tailight is out" kinda stop.

I've also found that if they ask, "Do you know how fast you were going?" My standard reply of, "Yes I sure do." or "Yes sir." Usually is good enough. I never admit what speed I was going, because they might have had me on radar when I was actually decelerating.

And believe me I have known some cops and troopers who were absolute asses, but for the most part they've been OK.

[ohthejosh]

I lol'd!

But really, I'm not a Mormon so I have to choose, Lambo, Inufaye, or Ohthejosh.

The runner up can be my best man though. ;)

Fuck yea honorable mention up in this biitch

[imsotyerred]

i can always spot a VA driver on 95 because they're doing 65mph in the left lane. The rest of us, doing 80, are swerving around that asshole.

Says the Marylander....

however, yes there are FAR too many people being retarded slow in the left lane whenever I drive...at least 90% of them don't know what the fuck flashing high beams mean. other drivers just thhink that, when i come up on their ass at 70mph and flash once, that I'm just an asshole

[cale]

because of this, you condescending prick:

Fair enough, fortunately you people who spend so much time in Virginia have all those tickets to wipe away the tears.

[andrewm]

At least this thread started off with win...

[l00katme]

So funny :))

[trackjunkie21]

I got pulled over on Friday, was in a bit of a hurry and I was doing atleast 75 in a 50mph on a parkway. It was around 1pm so traffic was null and I didn't think much of it, I passed an overpass and there he was, in his charger behind the overpass with a radar. I already knew he was coming for me so I quickly pulled over to the right and turned off the car before he put his lights on. He asked me how fast I was going and me being an idiot told him I had no idea because of my euro cluster, I was unaware how to convert km/h to mp/h. he looked at me and laughed, told me if I pull this shit again I'll have my license suspended. Lesson learned for sure. If you're curtious they'll treat you with respect for the most part.

[Rsully70sev]

Original post was hilarious. The best response I've gotten was when I received a 50 in a 35 speeding ticket the day I sold my Nissan Titan; a week later I bought my E30 and got the same exact ticket, on the same exact road. I was honest, explained my enthusiasm about the new car, apologized and he said "You know what my biggest pet peeve is? Fuckers that don't learn." I deserved it, knew it and accepted it.

At the end of the day, take some fucking responsibility for your actions and accept the consequences you deserve. It's as simple as that.

[shEck3lls0]

So I have a couple stories that are quite funny with cops.

The first is:
I had had my license for maybe 4 months when I got pulled over for the first time, driving my sister's piece of crap dodge stratus with Stuart(funfgang) in the car to our friends on new years eve. Anyway, I guess he was following me for awhile because he didnt have his lights on and then appeared out of nowhere on a country road. Either way, I started freaking out because legally, I wasnt supposed to be driving anyone else yet. The cop comes up, asks why he pulled me over. I said "speeding?". Said yeah, didnt tell me a speed. Took my registration and went back to his car. Then another cop pulled up. They both came back and the officer wrote me a ticket for my sisters license plate light that was out. The other officer told stuart to put his window down but couldnt since I turned the car off (lol). Then started yelling at him for it. Once he got it down, he shined the light at us both, looked awkwardly for a couple seconds and then said "so. Why is your hair cut just like Justin Bieber's?" I started to chuckle a little bit and said "you too." After the other officer gave me my license and such back the other officer asked me where my weed was because he needed to pack his bowl. Lol. Good story to tell once we got to my friends house.

I have been pulled over twice after that, once for cutting off a cop(stupid blind spots, 5 point harness, fixed back, and roll cage).... he was cool. The other time I was searched and my car was searched. The cop asked why I had a whole bunch of car parts and a set of wheels in my car and asked if they were stolen. I said "no, I just part out cars and sell parts for extra money" haha. After he found I wasnt a dumbs kid with weed in my car, he was cool about it. Funny thing is, I gave him the registration to my old e30 which was no longer registered.

My lessons I have learned so far is that if you are really respectful and nice to cops, that they shouldnt be dicks to you. (unless they are just a dick in the first place). So to you people who are like "fuck police"... well, you were probably just doing something completely stupid in the first place OR you were being disrespectful.

[TimKninja]

My lessons I have learned so far is that if you are really respectful and nice to cops, that they shouldnt be dicks to you. (unless they are just a dick in the first place). So to you people who are like "fuck police"... well, you were probably just doing something completely stupid in the first place OR you were being disrespectful.

Normally id agree with you. But i had TWO fuck the police moments yesterday.

I was on my way to work, 70 ish maybe a bit over, in a 55 on I95 and i was just cruisin along normal speed of traffic , the cop came flying out of NOWHERE and pulled me over. Was super serious and Butthurt, i was respectful and everything . Gave me a ticket for 10 over. I might fight it, the nerd couldnt press hard enough on the ticket he was writing to Make any of the carbon transfer over so my ticket is almost entirely blank. I know i was speeding, but really common . People do 75-80 all day on this stretch.

Then driving home late at night last night a cop starts following me, about half a car length away. I just keep goin the speed limit. In front of me i watch a Ford Focus blow a red light, then swerve in and out of his lane( like he was drunk) and pull into a hotel Parking lot and almost hit Group of people , cop was too busy behind me waiting for a reason to pull me over. Never pulled me over tho.

Usually When i get pulled over its a really cool cop , just checking for weed/ Drinking, and they always let me go . Im ALWAYS respectful of police and I respect them. But after yesterday...wtf.

[shEck3lls0]

Normally id agree with you. But i had TWO fuck the police moments yesterday.

I was on my way to work, 70 ish maybe a bit over, in a 55 on I95 and i was just cruisin along normal speed of traffic , the cop came flying out of NOWHERE and pulled me over. Was super serious and Butthurt, i was respectful and everything . Gave me a ticket for 10 over. I might fight it, the nerd couldnt press hard enough on the ticket he was writing to Make any of the carbon transfer over so my ticket is almost entirely blank. I know i was speeding, but really common . People do 75-80 all day on this stretch.

Then driving home late at night last night a cop starts following me, about half a car length away. I just keep goin the speed limit. In front of me i watch a Ford Focus blow a red light, then swerve in and out of his lane( like he was drunk) and pull into a hotel Parking lot and almost hit Group of people , cop was too busy behind me waiting for a reason to pull me over. Never pulled me over tho.

Usually When i get pulled over its a really cool cop , just checking for weed/ Drinking, and they always let me go . Im ALWAYS respectful of police and I respect them. But after yesterday...wtf.

Agreed. Some cops can be total jerks.

[42000]

Most of those quotes are not that funny. I agree that they are just examples of cops being dickheads and abusing their power. Fuck the police. They drive around the suburbs giving speeding tickets and delcare themselves heroes. They arrest kids for partying and then go get fucking shit faced. They speed down the street staring at their cellphones.

Yeah, there are cool cops but so many are such dickheads they ruin the reputation. I hate shows like cops and shit? How is cool to watch peoples' lives ruined. Yeah some of them are scum but so many people get fucked over for something extremely stupid

[ieatpeople]

i got pulled over friday night/saturday morning for no reason at all.

i was driving down rt140 through westminster where i live, in the right lane, doing the speed limit w/ cruise control on. it was about 2:30am. i had just left a friends house, we had been playing bf3. no drinking or anything had been going on.

i see a state-trooper come flying up the road in the left lane, he was doing 90-100mph easily. he gets about 10 car lengths behind me, stands on the brakes, then swerves over into my lane and follows me for about 30sec, then pulls me over. i pull off the road into a grocery store parking lot (well lit, out of traffic). i know he doesn't have any reason to have pulled me over, so i'm sort of pissed.

he walks up to the window and wants to play 20 questions. "where are you headed?, where are you coming from?, is this your current address?, have you been drinking?", i interrupt him to ask "why did you pull me over?".

he stutters and comes up with "you have a tag light out". i then said "You and i both know that in the state of maryland you cannot pull me over for just a tag light, do you have any other excuses?".

he said "well, they're both out", i said "then can you go fill out your paperwork so i can go home and get some sleep?"

he went back to his car, sat there for about 15min, then came back and gave me a warning for a tag light.

when i got home, i checked my tag lights, they both work.


i know damn well that if both my tag lights were out, i would have gotten a repair order not a warning.

i cant complain about getting pulled over if i was doing something illegal, but that was bullshit.

[gwb72tii]

my buddy greg and i were rolling west thru the oregon cascade mountains headed towards the mouth of the rogue river to fish for salmon (in 1976). and its like 100* outside, my 1970 2002's heater valve is stuck in the open position so we're driving in boxers with the windows down, sunroof open and floor vent closed.
its hot so we're drinking beer, among other things, and while we're ripping around a left hand sweeper (my friend is driving my car) a cop comes the other way, immediately throws on the lights, does a 180 and pulls us over.
i'm seeing double, and i know my buddy is in no shape to drive. i don't have anywhere to stash the beer so i put the empties back in the six pack holder, then in a paper bag, fold the bag shut, and put it between my feet, and hide the pipe under the floor mat.
my friend basically just charms the cop, yes sir, no sir, you bet, etc. the cop gives my friend a warning. he starts walking back to his car, stops and comes back, looks right at us and says "by the way its against the law to drink and drive. have a great day".
the cop could have jailed us but instead let us go. sometimes they're ok.

[Roysneon]

my buddy greg and i were rolling west thru the oregon cascade mountains headed towards the mouth of the rogue river to fish for salmon (in 1976). and its like 100* outside, my 1970 2002's heater valve is stuck in the open position so we're driving in boxers with the windows down, sunroof open and floor vent closed.
its hot so we're drinking beer, among other things, and while we're ripping around a left hand sweeper (my friend is driving my car) a cop comes the other way, immediately throws on the lights, does a 180 and pulls us over.
i'm seeing double, and i know my buddy is in no shape to drive. i don't have anywhere to stash the beer so i put the empties back in the six pack holder, then in a paper bag, fold the bag shut, and put it between my feet, and hide the pipe under the floor mat.
my friend basically just charms the cop, yes sir, no sir, you bet, etc. the cop gives my friend a warning. he starts walking back to his car, stops and comes back, looks right at us and says "by the way its against the law to drink and drive. have a great day".
the cop could have jailed us but instead let us go. sometimes they're ok.

He should have put you in county overnight. Driving drunk is one of the most socially irresponsible things one can do. I don't know how anyone can feel it's ok to do that.