Nonsense Thread

[accident]

why is he mad at you?

[Stanley Rockafella]

you should start your own site with the email correspondence from these people.

[ParsedOut]

you should start your own site with the email correspondence from these people.

I'd read that.

[15Michaeljoseph]

that's quality comedy right there


--Mike

[Thizzelle]

Fucking Craigslist People!

I advertised our old refrigerator a couple days ago and this is the response I received from some asshole:

Subject: GE Profile Arctica Side by Side Refrigerator - $375 (Humble)

From: William Masters <eef159d5a73a33e49dd3f0cd9509069d@reply.craigslist .org>

Go ahead and deliver it to me for $200.


Me:

You act as if i know you somehow?

From: William Masters <eef159d5a73a33e49dd3f0cd9509069d@reply.craigslist .org>

Maybe you do.



My flight was late and I was sitting around at the airport waiting with nothing productive to do so I took 7 minutes out of my life and sent back this:

Me:

Dear Bill,

I must say....that is an exceptionatly kind offer. I am literally and figuratively blown away by your amazing act of generosity!

However.....I have a better idea....why don't you give me the $200.00, and I'll let you suck a gallon of sloppy, wet, explosive shit out of my hairy, crusty, slightly sweaty butthole? Upon finishing, you can suck a good bit out of my dog's ass as well.(no extra charge!) Be sure to use plenty of tongue on the foofer because he tells me he really likes it that way. Please give us a day or two advance notice so Fluffy and I can plan a night of binge drinking and stuffing ourselves full of cheap, spicy mexican food! God bless the pinto bean!

Since we are indeed such fond acquaintances, I am confident you won't take offense to any heartfelt suggestions I may have for you in the area of future douchebaggery:

The next time you attempt to coerce someone into wasting their entire day delivering some random heavy item to you for free, I suggest you try a slightly more diplomatic rather than the typical arrogant "craigslist asshole" approach.

For example, had you said: "Hey there lifelong buddy, I live with my mom and a whole bunch of cats. I have absolutely no friends because I smell bad. Can I have your refridgerator for 8 cents? Oh, and by the way, my penis so so small, there is no way I can afford to buy a pickup. Can you please deliver it for free too?"

I'm pretty sure you will garner better results. That totally would have worked on me!

That initial one liner you sent momentarily had me thinking you were some retarded 17 year old, goat raping "Bill" and not the one I have known and respected for oh so many years now(well, actually, almost an entire day at least). I sure am glad to know it really is you instead.

Good luck with your future "endeavors"!

Regards and with all due respect,
Your longtime friend

Brian

i sit waiting patiently for him to email back and invite me over for a beer or two.

I had an add for a bunch of paintball stuff selling it all for $20 and noted if not sold in a week I'm giving it away to goodwill. Some kid emails me and said pls donate to me. I'm like for $20 you can have it all (2 20oz tanks, a pack with 4 pods and a 12oz tank w/ on/off valve.)
he still said no.

typical craigslist people, I just throw shit out now because it's not worth my time any more to make a few bucks.

[ParsedOut]

I had an add for a bunch of paintball stuff selling it all for $20 and noted if not sold in a week I'm giving it away to goodwill. Some kid emails me and said pls donate to me. I'm like for $20 you can have it all (2 20oz tanks, a pack with 4 pods and a 12oz tank w/ on/off valve.)
he still said no.

typical craigslist people, I just throw shit out now because it's not worth my time any more to make a few bucks.

Yep, unless it's worth more than $100 I don't even bother anymore. Would rather give away to friends/family/needy than deal with the flaky craigslist masses.

[accident]

Yep, unless it's worth more than $100 I don't even bother anymore. Would rather give away to friends/family/needy than deal with the flaky craigslist masses.

Well if you have any boxes of .40 you don't want I'll take them :P

[ParsedOut]

Well if you have any boxes of .40 you don't want I'll take them :P

Fuck .40, real men shoot .45 for size or 9mm for capacity, .40 is for those who want both but get neither. I do have some left over .380 and 7.62x54r.

[phreshkid]

pew pew peeew.


Guns.

[golde30]

Pew.

That's all it should take with a .45. I prefer it to come out of a 1911.

[lambo]

Lost my fucking wallet...

Now I get to deal with getting a replacement driver's license while out of state.

Fuck.

[JinormusJ]

Nonsense Thread

Lost my fucking wallet...

Now I get to deal with getting a replacement driver's license while out of state.

Fuck.

Dang, that sucks

I lost my wallet with $400 in it once on a Friday and didn't notice til Saturday. Thought I left it at a junkyard and they closed for the weekend. Was franticly trying to call the yard or find it. Ended up finding it on a shelf above my stove Sunday night. It's very small and blended in with the black marble

I still won't forget the 2 days I was without it: debit card, 2 credit cards, $400, license, EMT cert, NREMT licenses; I thought all gone. Absolute living hell.

[accident]

Fuck .40, real men shoot .45 for size or 9mm for capacity, .40 is for those who want both but get neither. I do have some left over .380 and 7.62x54r.

I knew you would say something like that. I don't know how, but I knew.

Pew.

That's all it should take with a .45. I prefer it to come out of a 1911.

Well you see sir, over here in freedom land we're not restricted to 10 rounds, so I tend to stay away from the 1911 platform. I do want one, but I probably won't carry it much.

[golde30]

If you need more than 10rds yer in more trouble than a handgun is gonna get you out of...

[lambo]

Dang, that sucks

I lost my wallet with $400 in it once on a Friday and didn't notice til Saturday. Thought I left it at a junkyard and they closed for the weekend. Was franticly trying to call the yard or find it. Ended up finding it on a shelf above my stove Sunday night. It's very small and blended in with the black marble

I still won't forget the 2 days I was without it: debit card, 2 credit cards, $400, license, EMT cert, NREMT licenses; I thought all gone. Absolute living hell.

Yupp. All I really want back is my license because it's going to take close to a month to get it replaced out of state. I've already canceled the cards I had in there so they're useless. Hell, I wouldn't even be upset if they kept the Wallet Werks M-Tech wallet.

Still have to check in with the local police put I don't have hopes...