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    #31
    One time I strangled my boss until he stopped moving. He's still not over it. Best prank ever.
    For all things 24v, check out Markert Motorworks!
    Originally posted by mbonanni
    I hate modded emtree, I hate modded cawrz, I hate jdm, I hate swag, I hate stanceyolokids, I hate bags (on cars), I hate stuff that is slowz, I hate tires.

    I am a pursit now.

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      #32
      Take a screenshot of co-workers windows desktop and open it on top of everthing.

      Lame, but can be funny.
      Current:

      BMW 320i 2d 2.0 m20 -88
      BMW 325i Cabriolet 2.5 m50 -88
      BMW 316i touring 1.6 m40 -90
      BMW 320i 4d 2,2 m54 -01

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        #33
        I once installed a grease zerk in a Snap-On toolbox of a tech that put a dead chipmunk in the cash drawer in the shop I ran.

        The prank part was, on Saturday afternoon, once we closed up shop, everyone left, and I was alone to lock up. I decided to not shut off and drain the shop compressor, instead I rolled the grease trolley over, hooked up the shop air, locked the fitting on the zerk, and ziptied the grease gun into the on position.

        Monday morning, his toolbox looked like modern art, sheets of shimmery grease flowed forth from every drawer and gap in the rollbox.

        Nobody in the company ever messed with me. I did have to buy a $300 barrel of grease to replace the stuff I wasted, and it took him a week to clean his tools.

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          #34
          Originally posted by spike68 View Post
          Just recently a member in our group just finished up his SR swap in his 240 and it was the first night he was bringing it out to the weekly car meet for everyone to see. Its a tradition for some of us to hit up taco bell before the meet in which he joined in. Well while the excited child was eating and eager to go to the meet, one of my friends discovered his key worked in the eager ones car. He decided to take his car and drive it to the meet at park it at the top level of the parking deck, then proceeded back to taco bell and act like his car got towed. When he walked out he was completely confused and utterly upset. So upset he basically cried. he jumped into a friends car and rode to the meet still upset. What made it even more funny he kept admitting that he didnt have the money to get the car out. We eventually told him where his car was about halfway through the meet.
          To me messing with somebody's car is crossing the line... And making a guy think his car got towed or stolen isn't terribly nice...
          -Christian

          '02 ///M3 CarbonSchwartz 6MT daily beast
          08/91 Mtechnic II 325IC alpine/lotus
          318iS, slow build/garage queen...
          '37 Chevy pickup, the über project
          Originally posted by roguetoaster
          Be sure to remind them that the M42 is one of the best engines ever made, but be sure to not mention where it actually falls on that list.

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            #35
            And, yes, I felt like an asshole. And, yes, he put roadkill in my car until I started working elsewhere.

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              #36
              Originally posted by Farbin Kaiber View Post
              I once installed a grease zerk in a Snap-On toolbox of a tech that put a dead chipmunk in the cash drawer in the shop I ran.

              The prank part was, on Saturday afternoon, once we closed up shop, everyone left, and I was alone to lock up. I decided to not shut off and drain the shop compressor, instead I rolled the grease trolley over, hooked up the shop air, locked the fitting on the zerk, and ziptied the grease gun into the on position.

              Monday morning, his toolbox looked like modern art, sheets of shimmery grease flowed forth from every drawer and gap in the rollbox.

              Nobody in the company ever messed with me. I did have to buy a $300 barrel of grease to replace the stuff I wasted, and it took him a week to clean his tools.

              sounds pretty worthwhile to me. some people are just dicks....there is a prankster rule book somewhere that says its ok to cross the line in such a case.

              i guess the upside is that he didn't have to worry about anything rusting.
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              92 Mtech 2 cabrio alpinweiss 770 code
              88 325ix coupe manual lachsilber/cardinal
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                #37
                Originally posted by Rocla View Post
                Take a screenshot of co-workers windows desktop and open it on top of everthing.

                Lame, but can be funny.
                We use to do this to people, often one of the few older, crankier guys in the hangar. We would print screen the desktop, rotate the pic 180 degrees, set as background, remove all the old icons/minimize the start bar. I think you could hit Ctrl + alt + arrow key and it would rotate the screen to that direction, so we'd flip the display upside down so everything except the mouse would appear right.

                This would fuck people up (especially the mouse being all backwards) until they found someone who knew what was up.

                We often take people's security passes or random belongings that are left lying around and hang them up high. Hoodies often find their way to the roof of the hangar on random ropes that raise/lower vent tubes, fall arrest harnesses or hoists. Security passes will get faces from the newspaper stuck over the bearer's face, sometimes for weeks without security noticing.



                The worst thing that anyone's done at work so far, was by this one out of control kid who is always starting shit and fucking around. He took some company letterhead and printed off a convincing memo stating that due to customer request, employees would be subject to random drug tests starting that friday. The list of names had all of the "stoner" crowd, plus some of the crazies in the hangar, himself, and a few other random names.

                The amount of shit this stirred up was crazy. Work stopped and most of the people on the list were freaking out, but the worst were the guys who are always overboard with being unionized. They ran to the shop steward and they caused a shitstorm up through the foremen and managers into upper management. This guy never actually got caught.
                Originally posted by priapism
                My girl don't know shit, but she bakes a mean cupcake.
                Originally posted by shameson
                Usually it's best not to know how much money you have into your e30

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                  #38
                  there are some good ones popping up on here! i'm going to use the "carfetti" gag on someone.

                  this reminds me......before, sept 11, 2001 airport security was a lot more lax than it is today. my security badge has a blue background where the photo portion is located and is about 1 inch square. i used to fly through Cincinnati pretty frequently and there were these two middle aged chicks that always worked the gate there. they were amazingly cool and funny as hell. whenever a crew came through and they were nice to these girls, they would give out candy or stickers or some silly thing to show their appreciation for making the job go smooth.

                  one day i was passing through and took a few minutes to shoot the shit with them. i was checking out this box of silly stickers they had sitting on the podium. sifting through, i found a sheet with zoo animals. as i was perusing, i saw this portrait of a laughing chimpanzee with a blue background that was exactly the same size as the picture on my id badge.

                  so...i put that monkey sticker over the photo in my badge and i walked around like that for months. i passed through security probably dozens of times not to mention all the people that supposedly looked at my badge during the course of going about my day to day business. during that time, there was only two (pre TSA) agents that caught on to my shenanigans. i guess they figured i had a funny sense of humor because they just looked at my driver's license and let me pass anyway. no one ever made me take it off. finally, one day i just got tired of it and scraped it off on my own accord. i highly doubt i would get away with this shit these days.


                  it was pretty much this picture with a blue background
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                  Last edited by flyboyx; 03-05-2014, 03:44 AM.
                  sigpic
                  Gigitty Gigitty!!!!

                  88 cabrio becoming alpina b6 3.5s transplanted s62
                  92 Mtech 2 cabrio alpinweiss 770 code
                  88 325ix coupe manual lachsilber/cardinal
                  88 325ix coupe manual diamondschwartz/natur
                  87 e30 m3 for parts lachsilber/cardinal(serial number 7)
                  12 135i M sport cabrio grey/black

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                    #39
                    My first pass must've gotten something inside the holder, because over the course of the summer, my face slowly morphed into a white blob. There was only a slight outline of my face left, and security still let me airside.

                    I only changed it when one of the new guards complained, All the ones who have been there a while just let you through after they figure out who you are.
                    Originally posted by priapism
                    My girl don't know shit, but she bakes a mean cupcake.
                    Originally posted by shameson
                    Usually it's best not to know how much money you have into your e30

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                      #40
                      time to bump this thread
                      sigpic
                      Gigitty Gigitty!!!!

                      88 cabrio becoming alpina b6 3.5s transplanted s62
                      92 Mtech 2 cabrio alpinweiss 770 code
                      88 325ix coupe manual lachsilber/cardinal
                      88 325ix coupe manual diamondschwartz/natur
                      87 e30 m3 for parts lachsilber/cardinal(serial number 7)
                      12 135i M sport cabrio grey/black

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                        #41
                        The one smoker we have in the office...
                        Super tall guy, maybe 6'4 315lbs.

                        It was pouring rain outside and he was going to head outside for a smoke.

                        My co-workers and I previously put all the paper from the 3 hole punch machine in the umbrella. Lots of it.

                        He heads outside, and goes to push open his umbrella and poof the wind and catches his confetti explosion. he for sure drew some stares
                        Originally posted by flyboyx
                        i have watched my dog lick himself off a few times

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                          #42
                          We had a loud obnoxious guy at work that was allergic to thinking. He would shout nonsense all day, every day. He also lived 2 blocks away from work, so he biked every day. At lunch one day I took the Anti-Seize can out back and gave a few brush strokes of the Silver Devil on his brake levers. You couldn't see it, but it was there! I couldn't wait until quitting time to see the cursing.

                          Little did I know that the guy's kid brother stopped by in the afternoon and borrowed the bike. He rode to Obnoxious Guy's house and proceeded to open every door and cupboard in the place, looking for something. The cleanup took hours.

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                            #43
                            Originally posted by quickervicar View Post
                            We had a loud obnoxious guy at work that was allergic to thinking. He would shout nonsense all day, every day. He also lived 2 blocks away from work, so he biked every day. At lunch one day I took the Anti-Seize can out back and gave a few brush strokes of the Silver Devil on his brake levers. You couldn't see it, but it was there! I couldn't wait until quitting time to see the cursing.

                            Little did I know that the guy's kid brother stopped by in the afternoon and borrowed the bike. He rode to Obnoxious Guy's house and proceeded to open every door and cupboard in the place, looking for something. The cleanup took hours.
                            shit! originally when i started reading this, i though you put the anti seize on his actual bike brake pads! i was thinking: man! what an ass!!! once i figured out it was the brake handles, i actually thought it was a good one.





                            the story below isn't really a funny prank at all. this is a result of me getting even with shitty coworkers that i had to endure for an entire summer. i've never told anyone this story before. i don't consider myself to be particularly proud of it.


                            between my freshman and sophomore years of college, i had a summer job working for an HVAC service company. i was basically a grunt that helped install residential furnaces and air conditioners. i floated between 3 different installers. of those, one guy was a relatively decent fellow , one was a dick, and the third was a mushroom cloud laying mother fucker/cocksucker asshole. i can honestly say that i have never been in the presence of, worked with or imagined it was possible for anyone to be remotely close to the douche this guy was. it is a long story as to why this guy was such a tool.(i will save it for the occasion when someone starts a "worst co-worker you ever worked with" thread.) i will say he was a 5'7" 140lb completely worthless piece of shit. he spent half the day fucking off on the company dime. any time i might insinuate that maybe we ought to be working, he would berate be about being a company man with my nose up the owner's ass. he was a total loud mouth who was always trying to start fights with the other employees. i do know he spent some time in incarceration but i never found out the reason why. unfortunately, about 80% of the time, i was stuck working with this asshole. no one else could or was willing to go out on install jobs with him. it really made for a shitty summer.

                            on my last day, i told the owner not to tell anyone i was leaving to go back to school. i let him know i was going to get those douchebags in a big way. he knew how much shit they were always giving me and was completely fine with it.

                            early in the day, i was out working with kenny, (the complete fucking asshole). we were driving around and saw the dickhead's service truck sitting at the air conditioning supply store. kenny told me that he would buy me lunch if i would go over to our co-worker's pick-up and fuck with it. since it was my last day, i decided his plan was indeed a great idea. kenny had a half gallon tub of gojo hand cleaner sitting in his vehicle that had turned to a nasty yellow liquid from being in the sun for a long time. it was a slimy, greasy mess that smelled horrible. i took his tub of hand cleaner and splashed the entire jar all over the seats, windows, and steering wheel. afterward, i got the fuck out of there as fast as my feet would carry me. "dick head guy" was a BIG burly redneck.

                            after lunch we went back to our place of business. kenny had to take off work early for some reason. if memory serves, i seem to remember he had to go to court to take care of a bench warrant. (i spent the rest of the day doing odds and ends around the shop). he mulled around for a few, then went inside the office to punch out. seeing my opportunity, i grabbed a tub of black graphite impregnated axle grease and sprinted out to his pick up. i rubbed it all over the driver's seat and i put a huge gob under the inside door handle. i figured it would be a nice easter egg he would put his hand into when he got out at his destination. pretty soon he walked out of the office, got in his service vehicle and drove off. (wish i could have been there to see him walk into court with grease all over the back of his khaki uniform pants and shirt) of course i had a big smile on my face for the rest of the day. this certainly wasn't enough to make up for the 3 months of hell this guy put me through but it was a good start. i never saw the dirty piece of shit again.

                            about an hour later, the dick head guy(his name was paul) came back to the shop. he was pissed off!!!! he was ready to blow a gasket because of all the rancid hand cleaner slopped around in his truck. i immediately blamed the shenanigans on kenny. since "asshole" had already left for the day(and due to kenny's personality being what it was), paul had no recourse but to believe my(almost) total lie. i went home about an hour later and never looked back.


                            epilogue:
                            the following summer i was home visiting my folks. i ran into one of the owners while i was at the grocery store. he told me that in retrospect, giving me the green light to prank his installers was a bad idea. the next morning kenny and paul got into a fist fight at work. as it was, there had already been a lot of animosity building between them. i think it could be safe to say that my straw was the one that broke the camel's back. paul kicked kenny's ass so bad it put him in the hospital for a day or two. he had to fire kenny and tell him he wasn't allowed back because he was concerned about liability/lawsuits.(i think the real reason was because he knew as well as i did that kenny was a complete worthless piece of shit)

                            i kinda felt a little bad kenny got beat up and fired. however, if you had experienced the summer of shit that i did, you might understand i felt some vindication too.
                            Last edited by flyboyx; 06-05-2015, 12:33 PM. Reason: cleaned the story up to make it easier to read.
                            sigpic
                            Gigitty Gigitty!!!!

                            88 cabrio becoming alpina b6 3.5s transplanted s62
                            92 Mtech 2 cabrio alpinweiss 770 code
                            88 325ix coupe manual lachsilber/cardinal
                            88 325ix coupe manual diamondschwartz/natur
                            87 e30 m3 for parts lachsilber/cardinal(serial number 7)
                            12 135i M sport cabrio grey/black

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                              #44
                              I have nothing that could compete with that.

                              Work has been slow for a while now, so a while back, myself and one of the older guys I work with have had a plan to snag two computers left logged in and have an email conversation between the two. Around a month after our initial plan, I find two computers left open and go grab him. The logins used couldn't have been more perfect, one belonged to one of our newest techs who doesn't have the best reputation going (work wise,) And the other login belonged to a tech with ~2years experience who regularly picks on the first guy.

                              So we quickly get to writing this deep intimate series of messages between the two, and print off a copy, fold it, and leave it in the middle of the walkway. It didn't take long to hear back about it. Once the two of them saw it, the joke was over pretty fast, although the new guy now thinks he's friends with the guy who doesn't like him because they got pranked together. Now he follows him around at work and tries to start conversation with him.
                              Originally posted by priapism
                              My girl don't know shit, but she bakes a mean cupcake.
                              Originally posted by shameson
                              Usually it's best not to know how much money you have into your e30

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                                #45
                                Don't have much of pranks we can pull at work cause of safety issues. Most we do is if you decide you need to take a shit that last 20 min you will end up in a stall covered in soaking wet toilet paper because we got balls of it wet it down and beamed you with them over the stall door. Other then that we just turn the gas off on the fork lift and see how far they can get before it shuts off in mid pick which is always a good laugh.


                                1989 325is l 1984 euro 320i l 1970 2002 Racecar
                                1991 318i 4dr slick top


                                Euro spec 320i/Alpina B6 3.5 project(the never ending saga)
                                Vintage race car revival (2002 content)
                                Mtech 2 turbo restoration
                                Brilliantrot slick top "build"

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