Explain Marriage to me.

[s0urce]

I saw a thread about someone getting married. Which makes me think... At this day in age, what benefit for MEN is there in marriage? I'm interested to hear why some of you guys here are married or support marriage in the first place?

Let's hear your reasons for marriage... Because to me, marriage is bullshit.

[Addissimo]

Good question mate

[Zya8187]

Very good question. Mostly it's religion.

[schmidty]

I can only speak for myself but its a matter of showing your commitment, because you love her, and yes religion has a part in it for some of us too. Im not looking to BENEFIT from it in any way and if that's how you look at marriage then I'm sorry for you, because you've got it all wrong.

[RobertK]

I guess it all depends on your goals and how far you wish to grow into maturity.

Humans benefit most from being interdependence (2+ people learning to live depending on each other) and of course you cannot successfully achieve this until you master dependence and then indepedendence. Once you and your spouse master being interdependent then you can work together to achieve your life goals.

That's why they say never get married unless you agree on the big 3. Money, Religion, and Children. They are the biggest part of mastering interdependance and usually cause the most power struggles.

Same thing goes for raising children. It's been proven that children raised in a stable 2 parental unit home (mother + father) tend to be more successful in life.

[FredK]

dinners ready at six, clothes is neatly folded and put back into place, remote is on top of TV, beer's cold.







J/k.

[Jscotty]

Marriage is one of those things where you do it because you want to be joined at the hip with this person until either one of you dies. They are involved in every aspect of your life and you are involved in every aspect of theirs. Anyone who objects to this way of living should not get married.

In marriage there is stability, security, and structure.. provided that you REALLY know what it means to be married. Many people get married only to really regard that other person as their roommate or their boyfriend/girlfriend without it being anything more than that.

Essentially marriage is biblical which stands the reason why it's usually officiated by a minister. And biblically everyone on earth has a purpose and being married better facilitates our ability to fulfill that purpose that we all have in life. And because many people do not understand this, (even many of those who have faith in God and the teachings in the bible) they get married out of passion and desire moreso than purpose.

The vows basically say that you will remain married regardess of how bad or good things are, however, people ignore that and figure that they will just stay married until they cannot stand living with that person anymore. Marriage was meant to be permanent and I think that in our society we have gotten so far away from what it really is.

[sumyungguy]

Because to me, marriage is bullshit.

Couldn't agree with you more, the general consensus from older people that I talk to that have never been married say the same thing. Its not that these people are losers, they have steady long term relationships and don't really see the need to be married.

If it's a religion thing, thats just another way religion tells you how live your life.

Ive been with my girl for 5 years, people always ask when we're getting married. I say why? They never have a reason other than a religion related answer..

[FredK]

ok fine, what JScotty said. A serious and well thought out post.

I feel like a lot of people who get married young do so to "lock in a good thing" which is retarded.

[delatlanta1281]

I can only speak for myself but its a matter of showing your commitment, because you love her, and yes religion has a part in it for some of us too. Im not looking to BENEFIT from it in any way and if that's how you look at marriage then I'm sorry for you, because you've got it all wrong.

My commitment with Steph is the house we live in and pay for. Marriage will be down the road, but nothing screames commitment like $250,000!

[blunttech]

marriage is good. of course its a trade off but you will live longer married. sure, when youre in your 20's you think marriage sucks. but before you know it youll be my age and its really nice to have someone to share life with who is committed to you. nothing more sad than seeing some old fuck cruising the bars looking for divorcee ass. and the older men and women get the more baggage they bring to the table.i would hate to be single. i love it when my wife goes out of town for 4 or 5 days because i can do whatever i want . but after 2 days im wishing she were back. theres also tax benefits and the fact you can raise a family if you choose to. i mean a real family, not a bunch of bastard children. and then theres those delicious sandwiches

[Digitalwave]

Money, Religion, and Children. They are the biggest part of mastering interdependance and usually cause the most power struggles.

You are married, correct? I am curious to what you meant more specifically by agreeing on money. Did you mean agreeing who is in control of it, where it goes to, etc.? I certainly agree with the 3 points, I was just curious to your definition of agreeing on money.

[e30prideTN]

Very interesting thread. I also would like to know some of the views on marriage. After seeing my mom go through 4 divorces and 5 marriages, I, IMO, think marriage is bullshit. The legal process and all and of course, it's expensive!

When I was 20, I got engaged....I was very thrilled. Then I finally learned I was more infatuated with the idea of being married and I truly didn't know what marraige is/was. Now I'm not engaged and I don't want to comit that fully for a long time. Plus, I hardly hear ANYTHING good (positive) about marriage; only the negative.

[Jscotty]

Its not that these people are losers, they have steady long term relationships and don't really see the need to be married.

Ive been with my girl for 5 years, people always ask when we're getting married. I say why? They never have a reason other than a religion related answer.

And that is a very good way of looking at it. People who get married just because they think that they are "supposed to" or do it because of what it will look like to their friends are often very miserable people. They get married for the wrong reasons and it ends up doing more damage to their lives than anything else. Marriage is a serious thing. Not only when dealing with religion but also when dealing with the laws, finances, and family status. Which on the other hand there is much investment to be lost if you live with someone as if you are married yet you are not actually married. A few years ago, my co-worker died and was survived by his ex-wife and live-in girlfriend of 10 years. He didn't have a will so all of his assets went to the ex-wife. All of what he and his girlfriend built together over the last 10 years was in his name. After he died, she got nothing.

[schmidty]

It's not marriage that's bullshit. It's the way our society views it thats the problem
The divorce rate is over 50% in this country because people are getting married with the preconception that if it doesn't work out the can simply get a divorce, AND that that's ok... which is crap and totally defeats the idea of marriage. If that's what you mean by marriage being bullshit, then I agree, but if you take marriage for what is really supposed to be, a life long commitment, "till death do us part", no ifs, ands or buts about it then marriage is not bullshit.