Explain Marriage to me.

[mtechnik]

Amen to whagt JScotty says

[ivo316]

Married and divorced, but marriage to me is something great, you do it, it does not serve any particular purpose, it is of no benefit, does not guarantee anything, and it's granted that both sides loose something in the bargain.

It's the most honest and unintrested thing you can do out of love, and after the smoke clears, and maturity comes, you realize that all those losses you had, all the time invested gave you the best you could have, a lifetime friend and companion.

If you get a divorce then it becomes nasty, but i think we are talking about the concept, not the results ;)

[Kruzen]

Couldn't agree with you more, the general consensus from older people that I talk to that have never been married say the same thing. Its not that these people are losers, they have steady long term relationships and don't really see the need to be married.

If it's a religion thing, thats just another way religion tells you how live your life.

Ive been with my girl for 5 years, people always ask when we're getting married. I say why? They never have a reason other than a religion related answer..

tax breaks?

[ivo316]

hahaahha, well, here in chile income adds, and we have a scale for income tax, so at least here marriage costs you about 10% of the family income if this is above 4000 US$. a month

20% if above 5000
30% if above 6000.

on higher incomes you don't want to know, but the top of the scale is 45%.

[nando]

US taxes work in a similar way - but it tops out at 50%

[DEV0 E30]

Prenup.

[thectrlguy]

If you haven't practiced your alibi in front of the mirror, you haven't been in love.

Chris Rock

[benDASHDASH]

Marriage is one of those things where you do it because you want to be joined at the hip with this person until either one of you dies. They are involved in every aspect of your life and you are involved in every aspect of theirs. Anyone who objects to this way of living should not get married.

In marriage there is stability, security, and structure.. provided that you REALLY know what it means to be married. Many people get married only to really regard that other person as their roommate or their boyfriend/girlfriend without it being anything more than that.

Essentially marriage is biblical which stands the reason why it's usually officiated by a minister. And biblically everyone on earth has a purpose and being married better facilitates our ability to fulfill that purpose that we all have in life. And because many people do not understand this, (even many of those who have faith in God and the teachings in the bible) they get married out of passion and desire moreso than purpose.

The vows basically say that you will remain married regardess of how bad or good things are, however, people ignore that and figure that they will just stay married until they cannot stand living with that person anymore. Marriage was meant to be permanent and I think that in our society we have gotten so far away from what it really is.

wow, a sensible post in the OT. props

[Charlie]

After seeing my mom go through 4 divorces and 5 marriages, I, IMO, think marriage is bullshit. .

Damn, your mom doesn't take a hint very well, does she?

-Charlie

[gazellebeigem3]

It's not marriage that's bullshit. It's the way our society views it thats the problem
The divorce rate is over 50% in this country because people are getting married with the preconception that if it doesn't work out the can simply get a divorce, AND that that's ok... which is crap and totally defeats the idea of marriage. If that's what you mean by marriage being bullshit, then I agree, but if you take marriage for what is really supposed to be, a life long commitment, "till death do us part", no ifs, ands or buts about it then marriage is not bullshit.

Yes and somehow its an abomination if two homos get married! I think that they people use the "sanctity" of marriage as their main argument to ban gay marriage dont have a leg to stand on in a culture that has a 50% divorce rate and icons of pop culture changing husbands/wives like underwear.

back o/t. I think alot of people use marriage to save a failing relationship, using to effectively hold their spouse hostage. Furthermore, its a archaic tradition and the only reason why i will get married is for heath benefits and the like (no common law in Oh). I dont need a contract with my girlfriend to keep her with me. If she or I want to peace, theres no need to mess it up with a divorce.

if you disagree; eat a monogamous dick

[Maluco]

If both people sincerely marry for the right reasons, I'd say there is less than a 1% chance of them ever splitting; for good.... I think (true) love encompasses all virtues but trust and forgiveness, which in their true form are un-conditional, are absolutely essential to a successful relationship/marriage. I am constantly astounded by the awesomeness of these two. I admit, they are mostly implemented into my relationship by my lady but I am human and I am learning and excepting while I go. All said, it is still by far no easy task, for a lack of better terms. Sacrifice is something that comes to mind as well however this relates more to some than others. I sometimes find myself seeing it as a battle of good vs. evil. But that is me. Single, I am out drinking, partying all night, flirting, chasing women, pure debauchery. Then there's the point in life where you start dating, getting more serious and then marrying and your "single" friend is always there talking all that shit.

This is a good thread. I could go on all day as I go through this on a weekly basis but going out and excessive partying is usually to blame for my mishaps. Ok, I'm done for now.

[Rigmaster]

<SNIP>

if you disagree; eat a monogamous dick

Alright, looks like I'm gonna have to institute a royalty payment system of some sort for this form of catch phrase which I invented.

Even Blunt has started using it......

[der affe]

views from a single guy in his mid 30's..........
i was in love with a girl i dated for 7 years, engaged for the last year and a half. thank god it didn't happen. here's why.
i had dated her during 2 years of her high school and 3 of mine and through some of collage (read i was young!!!) when i really came down to it we weren't compadible for marrage and it ended...broken heart, etc etc. a year later she wanted to date me again and i then had hindsight , and could see all the things that were wrong with the relationship that you don't see when you are in it. i turned her down but we still fooled around and we remained very close friends, even met her husband (akward) before they were married. i don't see or talk to her anymore (just lost touch.
i have lived with girlfriends and they have lived with me...this should always be the first step... if you can't live with each other when there is an easy way out, it isn't going to get any better when you are married.
none of them have ever worked out in the end...leading to marrage that is.
the problem today is that too many people get married with out thinking it completely through, it's forever (supposed to be at least)and u need to hash it out completely...the "big 3" EVERYTHING you can think of that may effect your daily life could and to some extent WILL. people don't change don't think that marrage is going to change them. if they do it now and you don't like it learn to deal with it if you are going to get married because it wont stop.
i look at the parents of my generation and see that they are really the last generation with the commitment to each other in marrage to stick it through reguardless of what happens. my dad developed md and requires a lot of help to do the daily things. i can honestly say that i can't think of another female that i have dated that would be there for me through that. unfortunately times have changed and peoples morals have too. i have fooled around with married women (only 1 knowingly, and not proud of it) and they really don't seem to care, when i have found out that they were, i told them to loose my # (watch out when you meet women in bars, this happens ALOT) same thing with girls with boyfriends.

if you must get married don't even concider it until you are at least in your late 20's early 30's. here's why, had i gotten married in my 20's there is so much that i would have missed out on (adventures/misadventures traveling etc) that shape you as a person. those things in turn make you a better, more stable person later in life. IF you are still wanting marrage and it has more of a chance of working.

my opinoin, don't do it, if you are committed and stay with a person when you can just walk away, you are going to stay that way, and a piece of paper wont make a difference.
don't do it, average marrage last about 3 years, then you loose half your shit in the divorce.
greg
happily unmarried and blissfully childless!!!!

[Maluco]

my opinoin, don't do it, if you are committed and stay with a person when you can just walk away, you are going to stay that way, and a piece of paper wont make a difference.

I agree with alot of what you said. I'm soon to be 30 and still feel like I haven't had enough of life's whatevers but I am also started to realize that there is a WHOLE lot to enjoy while in a relationship as well (mainly one without children though ;)). Regarding the above quoted though, It's more than a piece of paper to those in the Faith and I imagine to alot of people outside of the Faith.

[Jand3rson]

All I have to say at this point is I pretty much see marriage as nothing more than a tax benefit. My wife and I were together for 6 years before we got married, 5 of which we lived together. When we got married, NOTHING was different, except for that she had a different last name, we had a piece of paper filed with the state that said we were a couple, we were about $1 k richer, we had a shitload of new appliances and gadgets, and she gets half if we split up. I mean don't get me wrong, I love being married to my wife, she's a wonderful woman. But marriage in no way, shape or form resembles what it was 50 years ago. Marriage in the modern day has become an occasion for a woman to have the biggest party she can imagine that is all focused on her.

Now I am NOT saying that applies to every woman and NOT every marriage (and Derek, I am NOT talking about you and your girl.) But I watch these shows with my wife like "wedding story" and "bridezillas", and I just get more disgusted with every one of them. It's an excuse for the bride to get her parents and friends to spend as much money as they can and pay as much attention to them as possible. When it's all over, you've got a bunch of new stuff, new relatives, and a relationship that is now even more strained, made worse by the fact that now you've got this "contract" over you. Something like 75% or more of all new marriages end in divorce, and you don't even need a real reason anymore. To most of these new couples, it's just another break up, but you have to fill out a bunch of paperwork this time.

I just don't think that anyone takes it seriously anymore. And like it was with my situation, so many others are exactly the same. When they get married, nothing changes. You're just a legally-recognized couple now. Which is kind of why the whole gay marriage issue is so strange to me. I have no problem with it, marry whoever you want. But at the same time, my thinking is, "why do they want it so bad?"