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I've got a couple.
When i was in kindergarden the teacher wouldn't let me go to the restroom so I pissed in my pants. I was wearing khaki shorts at the time so it didn't turn out well. When she asked me what happened I told her that my shorts changed color according to the temperature and it was warm in the room. i thought I made a pretty convincing argument. I had to go to the nurse and pick clothes out of that pile of shit people left behind or whatever. Everyone knew what had happened.
When I was in 6th grade on the first day of school we had a class orientation. I was an avid skater back then and looked the part - sort of. I had on a vintage cheerios shirt and i had long hair. I was sitting near the front row - the principal was asking people questions. He decided to ask me something and referred to me "MRS cheerios" As you can imagine, that name stuck with me for a LONG time. Great intro to middle school, eh?"We praise or find fault, depending on which of the two provides more opportunity for our powers of judgement to shine."Comment
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Hmm.. I don't know what was the most embarassing but I did have a moment that I can recall immediately:
I was in middle school (junior high) and in our particular school district we would start school an hour later than the elementary students. It just happened so that the same bus driver was responsible for making both trips an hour apart. When daylight savings time was over and the clocks went back we didn't set our clocks in the house so the whole morning I thought that it was an hour later than it actually was.
Completely unaware of the time change I thought I was running a few minutes late. I ran up the hill and around the corner to the bus stop and saw the bus sitting there as the last 3 kids got on. I ran to catch the bus at the last second just before the doors were closing. The driver let me on, and as soon as I got to the top of the steps, I saw lunch boxes and colorful bookbags etc. Then I realized I was on the WRONG BUS. The kids in the neighborhood laughed at me for a long time after that.Comment
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fake piss your pants stories? you guys are bringing some weak shit. do i have the only shit my pants story? anyone accidently kill their girlfriend or anything?______________________
ex-Chief Operating Officer
Blunt Tech Industries
West Coast and Pacific RimComment
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ok this one was really humiliating. it was 1976 and i was stationed in subic bay in the Philippines. it was like any other night... go out and get blasted out of your mind and be back on base by 1200 midnight or stay at some whores house because there was martial law. i dont know what happened after about 10 oclock that night. all i know is i got woken up in my commanding officers bed drunk as a motherfucker. i somehow got back to base, entered the officers quarters unseen and got into his bed. he came back to base about 1145 and found me in his bed. i still have no clue how it happened but you can imagine the shit i got from my fellow soldiers. i was the commanding officers chauffeur also so it was doubly badComment
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Below the radar...Comment
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my ex had knee surgery and while she was changing bandages I accidentally dropped a can of soda on her knee from probably 3 feet up. She fucking screamed and cried and shit, her mom came running down to see what was going on, and of course I caught hell for it. haha i hated that bitch. i'd do it again in a heartbeat.Comment
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No, but in high school I accidentally back slapped my girlfriend in front of band class one day. I was handing out music on the front row. She walked up to the front of the room to ask the teacher a question. While this was going on, the class was talking and laughing.. kind of like the sound you get from indoor recess. Anyhow we were fooling around and playing grab-ass and pretending that we were going to hit each other to see which one of us would flinch. Then I started to wind up for a backslap and my plan was to swing my hand past her face. But instead she turned to look at the teacher and stepped right into the path of my hand and WHAM! Right in the kisser! One moment it was a bunch of noise in the classroom, the next moment you could hear a pin drop.Comment
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OJ much? Just dont turn your wife into a Pez dispenser cuz she got with the bartender... j/kComment
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