One time, I cut my ex-girlfriends head off with a spoon.
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Originally posted by JGood View Post
Try a spork next time. It breaks the surface tension easier...Comment
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Originally posted by JGood View Post
I didn't know that blow up dolls were considered girlfriends ???Comment
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Almost 2 years ago now,
I was at a mates house with a bunch of friends, just having a *few* beers,
and basically got really drunk and passed out on the couch, leaving me perfectly vulnerable.
So one of my good mates decides it would be shit funny to whip out his dick,
an introduce it to my forehead...
Naturally it was filmed by like three different people...
Worst part being, i didn't find out until like a year ago when i discovered the video on someones phone!
video did the rounds of course, probably still out there i guess.
I just hate that for so long EVERYONE knew, except me.
pretty fuking embarrassing...
Got another one, However this is one of those "you had to be there" type things... sort of.
this is more recent;
Best friends 19th (twins)
arrive about 10pm at there house, and they are expecting about 50 people or so. They had a pretty big 18th, so i was expecting a good night.
Anyway 1 hour a shot glass, and a bottle of jager later (which i brought to a supplied party), i am fuking wasted.
and i mean written off...
meanwhile every one sipping away at there champagnes ect, making conversation and getting to know all our new friends from different uni's,
I'm wandering around like a fuking ass, making a complete fool of myself, dropping food on the flaw, bumping into people, being the butt of lame jokes that i cant retaliate to, due to drunkenness and beeing down right embarrassing to all of my friends.
My good mate drove me home like 1130, and i woke up like... so what happened last night guys?
They were not impressed to say the least.
I couldn't believe what they were telling me, i was so embarrassed and ashamed... Bad night.
OH, and apparently i was hitting on they're 16yo sister (i'm 18 )
That was much worse though because i embarrassed my friends more than anything...Last edited by JamesE30; 08-30-2007, 05:06 PM.Comment
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Originally posted by JamesE30 View Post
The best part of all of that reading was the 'roo in your sig.Comment
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Did the same thing to a friend, but told him. Catch is, we only tell him when hes fucking HAMMERED. He gets all pissed off and gets into a drunken rage, eventually passes out, and forgets about it. Couple weeks later, same thing. This was over a year ago, and we still haven't told him when hes sober, so he has no idea.Originally posted by JamesE30 View PostComment
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Extra Credit, But, Hopefully that info dosen't come out of his subconsious mind in a sober state and go postal... That could really scar a grown man...Originally posted by JGood View PostComment
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So some of my friends were drinking over at my best friend's girls house awhile back. I showed up and figured what the hell and started drinking vodka (I HATE vodka). Anyway all I remember is passing out on this couch, with all my clothes on, and waking up in just my boxers. I found out later that day that her dad had awoken me on the bathroom floor with my boxers at my ankles.
stl ftwComment
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not in life but the other day I was at MJ Designs or Michaels buying Ruby Red Frosted Flakes paint for the $5 tail light mod and it happened. I was squatting as all the flavors were at the bottom of the shelf at the end of the aisle. I am somewhat facing down the aisle with my back towards the perpendicular aisle behind me. I see my girl turn the corner down the aisle and I say, hey babe, check this out, and I let a loud one rip. My girl's face turns red and she quickly goes back around the corner. At this point I get the sinking feeling that someone is just behind me. I slowly turn to face my embarassment and there is a 30-something year old mother (hot) looking at me in a very confused state. I quickly dig for something witty to say and come up with "don't worry mine smell like roses" to which she replies uh.... I don't want to find out. And she starts taking steps backwards but keeps watching me as if I am going to attack her or something. Her little son starts to bend the corner and she reaches out to him and tells him, don't go in there. At this point she's smiling and taking in the humor of it all. So I apologize and move on. I find my girl at the front of the store and she is way more embarrassed then I am. We end up checking out right behind them. She also honks at me on her way out of the parking lot. I imagine she is somewhere right now sharing this story as well.... LOL
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Countless times I get embarrased for accidentally calling customers the opposite sex...and...turning bright red. Can't play it off worth a damn.
The most embarrasing thing I've ever done was proooobably the almighty boner in class...(blah blah blah instert "not that anyone noticed joke" here...blah blah blah)
'90 325iComment
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formula 50 > *
that is all.
a little story for you folk... back a few months ago, i used to hang out on elmwood almost every night, and be to drunk to drive home. i would sleep on walker's girlfriends couch, wake up extremly hungover, and make my way down to the 24 hour store first thing in the morning for some vitamin water.
one day in particular, i was real fucked up. ie couldnt see straight, shakes, ect.. i stumble my way down for my usual formula 50, purchase said product, and make my way back. as soon as exited the building i cracked open the delicious vitamin water and chugged nearly the entire bottle.
not even 20 seconds later, i started feeling a little woozy. i stopped walking, and felt the 50 rise from my stomach. there was nothing i could do about it. just as im about to vomet, a mother and her small child get out of their car and start walking towards me. blahhhhhh strait 50 water all over the sidewalk. the kid makes a terrable noise and begins to cry, the mother scoops him up and begins walking rapidly in the other direction.
that was an interesting way to start the day.Originally posted by Mr WatsonsilverComment
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Seventh grade we had a ski trip, two hour bus ride, and I was ready to tear it up. So we get to the ski resort and I get the snowboard and boots, and get to the top of the hill, and I throw up. I spent the rest of the trip in the nurses stand puking my guts out. So, it is time to leave and I still feel like shit, and at this point, all of my friends are tapping me on the shoulder and asking if I was ok. All of the tapping started to piss me off. So on the bus ride home I kept throwing up while everyone was sleeping. When we got back to the school I was tired, felt like shit, and pissed off...not a good combo. Well, this girl I like (I didn't see her coming) taps me on the shoulder right as my friend called my name, I thought it was him behind me, so I wound up and backhanded her right in the face!!! I thought it was my buddy until I looked and saw her with a busted nose, and a bloody lip:D She never talked to me again, and all my friends brought it up to her whenever she was near meOriginally posted by NavyE30Comment
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lol, all os these stories seem to involve piss... and mine does too
This was actually pretty recent (about a year ago, sophomore year). I was in college and a gir I dated in high school was visiting our school. I had a party at my house and proceeded to get blacked out. I don't remember anyhting past about 11:00, but I woke up in the morning with her mostly naked in my bed and didn't know wtf happened. When she woke up she told me that we did fornicate, and that about an hour later I got up and walked over to my closet. I opened the door, walked in, and pissed right in my clothes hamper. Then I shook the fucker off and got back in bed.
It was fucking embarassing, but since I dated her for so long, it made it better. Had it been one of the random chicks, it would have been worse.
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