Childhood Fail Thread

[87e30]

chipped some little shits front tooth in 3rd grade, i was throwing pee gravel like a real gangsta cuz he was swingin on my turf

:rofl:

I chipped a kids tooth in 3rd grade or so too, he was a year older and holding me down so i headbutted him. Needless to say I had a gouge in my head!

I was also throwing rocks at a tree and trying to get a ball out and nailed my friend on the head. Principles for that.

I tried to do a sweet trick on my heavy crappy mountain bike jumping off of a curb and ate shit.

Eh, who knows exactly. Feels so long ago and I'm only 19.

[E30QC]

brothers head in mcdonalds jungle jim, larded it out, lol

[Todd Black 88]

Highschool baseball throwing competition to see who can throw the farthest.

The guy up before me throws a bomb out there, and I know I can not do better, so i come up with a plan to at least look cool while throwing the ball. I run, jump, do a 360 in mid air and chuck the balll as hard as i can.................sideways....................in to the crowd of people. Smoked a guy in the temple. He dropped like a rock. No permanent damage(still know him).

Teacher sent me home ASAP.

Fail.

[Atreus]

lets see....

bought water hose inside house, turned entire first floor into a slip n slide. yeah got my ass whooped for that

burned down a row of dumpsters on the 4th of july

shot my friend in the head with a roman candle, on accident.

trip to bunnyhop a concrete divider on my mountain bike, front tire clipped, frontflip shit eating contest ensued afterwards, i won

got chased up a tree by a fox

stole refreshments from the summer games in utah or whenever/wherever they had it, like, pallets of shit. i had minute maids/gatorades for months. rofl.

first time with fireworks, held a blackcat in my hand, stuck a stick in the BBQ pit, BAM. bloody hand.

ate poison ivy

shot friend in head with blowdart gun

suspended for touching girls butts in 2nd grade

pushed a fat girl down because she was trying to punk me, she cried, told on me, i got suspended for 5 days, FML on that one. fucker.

stapled my thumb in 3rd grade, i didnt think it would go through, it did.

stole a geode from my earth science class, fucking professor held the class hostage till it was returned, which took the greater part of a hour.

i used to hide this girls goosebumps books because she was a snooty shit, hid them in the same classroom i might add, got caught for that one. shitty.

yeah. theres a lot. now i know why my mom looks at me for a moment then walks off muttering "this little shit". haha.

[e30=sexy]

1.fell down 15 stairs at age 5 broke my leg.
2.me and my sister got locked in the trunk of my moms car i was 6 she was 11.(she said oh we can push the backseats and get out...she was wrong and we screamed for what seemed like hours before our mom found us)
3.my sister sucked my hair up in the vaccum cleaner when i was 6
4.got my arm rolled up in the car window when i was 5 or 6
5.called 911 3or4 times and hung up(grandma was sure pissed when they called back)
6.made jiffy pop on our new electric stove( scratched the shit out of it...mom was pissed) age9
7.got locked in the bathroom at a restaurant age 7or8
8.caught the grass on fire age 9 or 10( other grandma wasnt so happy)
9.At pizza hut with my parent went to get sauce for breadstix on the way back tripped and spilled it all over a lady..hilarious now not so much then) age 11
did some other stupid stuff this is just what stands out.

[HiTheNameIsBJ]

boiled a corded phone, then microwaved the cordless replacement.

Poked my neighbor in the eye with a stick, scratched his cornea

Blew out the windshield of a tractor next to my friends house with a pellet gun

Broke some kids ankle after I tried to push him in a pool from way too far back. Bleeding+broken ankle in water is not a good combo.

Smashed a rental golf cart into the back of a Lincoln while trying to get away from hotel security. They never ended up doing anything about that.

Broke 4 ribs falling out of a tree, the bottom 2 on the left side are still fucked up

Got my head split open by my brother by means of a baseball bat.

[ALYKZANDYR]

Was doing educational computer game at school when in third grade, i had to pee but was to addicted to the game so I just left a puddle of pee in the chair.

Threw a fit at a restruant when mom wouldnt give me any beer, ( the can looked cool so I wanted some) was i think 3 at the time.

[Stephen]

-Kool aid super-soaker ( it was badass)
-Cut my own hair
-did a McFaceCurb grind to rosebush on a razor scooter. Only one who has pulled off that trick to my knowledge
-Bolted shoes to skateboard deck + trampoline (also badass, except for the bolts protruding into the shoe)
-Graffiti'd some concrete drain thingys on a hill.
-Burp gun battle in garden full of cacti, ended badly
-"cooked" a firework like a grenade in my hand then chucked it so it went off in the sky. didnt actually hurt myself on that one

[Pinepig]

#5 Taking a shit in the Bath tub.

GI Joe got stuck, GI Joe got stuck

and then the big brown shark came.....

[IRON-E]

#1. Got the foreskin of my penis stuck on the pants zipper for not wearing underwear.........(major fail)
#2. Almost took a little girl's eye out, when a wooden stick slipped out my hands while hitting a pinata.
#3. Played jump rope with a garden hose with one of my Sisters in the living room and took out all the nick nacks around the house, that was fun.
#4. Go-Kart races, I built one with 8inch bearings for wheels and no braking system, took a steep hill to realize that the sides of my thighs weren't brakes and couldn't stop me.


these are the ones i can remember for now.


Good times

[Mstngcobr761]

#1. Got the foreskin of my penis stuck on the pants zipper for not wearing underwear.........(major fail)
#4. Go-Kart races, I built one with 8inch bearings for wheels and no braking system, took a steep hill to realize that the sides of my thighs weren't brakes and couldn't stop me.


these are the ones i can remember for now.


Good times

ROFL'in everywhere

[IRON-E]

ROFL'in everywhere

Dude, you don't know the half of it.

[Ray Smoodiver]

Fuck, when did childhood end for you guys?

OK: Cannonball into pool with burning gasoline dumped on surface. Flicking matches at empty can, got caught in bog WHOOSH of flame, burned off half my hair on my head.

I was 5 or 6...Dad was kinda pissed.

Holy shit I'm 25 and I want to do that right now.

[Jand3rson]

Alright, let's see here.

I tried helping my mom clean the house, and covered the entire house in 2 full cans of Comet.

I tried to make my own cereal on the living room floor with no bowl.

I slammed a car door on my bare foot and took my entire big toe nail off.

I shot out the rear window of a shitty old Honda with my BB gun and blamed it on my cousin. And got caught.

I kicked my little brother in the head and my parent's friends caught it on film while filming us playing.

I tried to close a top-loading VCR with my foot and broke it (this is when VCR's were like $400).

I'm sure I'll think of more...

[mrsleeve]

shit forgot,

ran my snowmobile into the back of the machine shed/ shop

also same night ran it into the tongue of the Brush hog that was parked in the shop while putting it away for the night

Backed my dads vette into his brand new 2 week old truck. was 11

ran over my moms cat while brush chopping fields by accident.

jumped my bike into the pond and lost it

made a bike ramp outta paneling and had my face meet the ground.

took a shit in the upstairs bathroom at 2 am, went back to bed and for some reason the shitter over flowed and resulted in the destruction of 4 rooms down stairs and had to redo the basement too

nearly cut off my the end of my left middle finger field dressing a deer.

ran over my brothers favorite toys with the lawn mower on purpose

shot out the window in moms van