Childhood Fail Thread

[pbr87]

sprained my ankle in a "stair-jumping" contest with my little brother.
I won (jumped down a flight of 14 stairs)....I was 5 at the time.

[ben312]

got my head split open during a game of horse shoes

almost broke my ankel (very bad sprain) after riding my skateboard down a huge hill then trying to make it through high grass.

got a pole stuck in my shin, was skateboarding and my brother jumpped on the other side of the rail just before I got to it.

broke my Iliac crest while being extra dumb on my last day snowboarding for the year

i got to many to think of lol

[Scotaku]

Big grassy hill, Japanese bicycle I was way too big for, tank slapper... cracked ribs.

Mom said, "Don't walk on the sea wall!" Low tide... I fell in and broke my arm.

Stalled the dirtbike juuuuust at the bottom of the ramp. Face plant.

Farted on stage during the Christmas play.

Muttered "bitch" under my breath and got slapped in front of my whole gym class.

Lots of mistakes made with fire...

Whipped my fishing rod back to cast and hooked my friend Chris in his eyelid.

Got nicked at Smitty's for shoplifting Star Wars figures.

Found a big roll of cash in the bathroom. Tried to turn it in to the Principal's Office only to get suspended by the teacher who had given me the pass to use the bathroom.

[stegosaurus]

broke my arterial crest(sp?)(part of the pelvis) while being extra dumb on my last day snowboarding for the year

Iliac crest?

[ben312]

Iliac crest?

thats the one! edited for correctness.
it wasn't truly a break, I fractured it.

[e30=sexy]

Found a big roll of cash in the bathroom. Tried to turn it in to the Principal's Office only to get suspended by the teacher who had given me the pass to use the bathroom.

why did you get suspended for it?

[LBJefferies]

Hit my thumb with a hatchet and sliced it to the bone. I was lucky I didn't take the whole thing off.

Some friends and I accidentally set a house on fire on the 4th of July. We did our thing with fireworks then at the end of the night we put all the used fireworks in the garbage can and stupidly put the can on the side of the house. The plastic can caught on fire and then caught the house on fire. There was actually very little fire damage but most of it was from smoke and water from the firetrucks.

Was jumping on the bed with my sister when I was maybe 8 or so and pushed her off. She hit her head on the dresser and had to get stitches. For some reason I was such an asshole to her when I was a kid. Were good now though.

[Conki]

I just started reading this, but you guys seem fucking morons. Seriously, I can not imagine doing stupid shit like these sober, at any age.
I did some stupid stuff I admit, but it was all because I was drunk, with friends.
3 really drunk 13 year olds with crow bars can cause a lot of damage on city streets. Got caught, prosecuted for probation. I worked 3 summers to pay for all the damages. Never done anything like it again after that where someone elses property was in danger.

Before that, when I was smaller? Hmm...
in 2nd grade before gym class a friend of mine hit me with his gym sack. I hit him back, but I forgot I had a fairly big magnet in mine, splitting his skin open on his forehead.

Other than that, I don't really remember anything bad I did.

[dashboardmonkey]

damn

hit my self in the head with a hammer (long story, dont ask i was 12)

playing with lighter fluid, set my leg on fire, i like fire

got caught smoking weed in middle school and high school, i like my ganja

shot my sister with a bb gun, no more bb guns after that

didn't finish high school

bought an E30

[fiftytakedowns]

I lost my virginity in a shed.

I lost my virginity in a treehouse

[red325]

Found a big roll of cash in the bathroom. Tried to turn it in to the Principal's Office only to get suspended by the teacher who had given me the pass to use the bathroom.

wtf...

[asuj158]

I lost my virginity in a treehouse

lost mine on a bean bag

kicked my step mom in the shin that was brunt from a motorcycle for trying to cut my hair when i wanted to play with my lincoln logs(7)

playing rugbee in a basement... 4 broken bones(9)

drove parents blazer through the end of the garage (5)

tried to pop a wheelie and got a chestfull of peg instead

went into a house being built and thought it would be great for paintball so i decided to "add on" police got called and me and my buddy split through the woods and hid in a tree. then got out after like and hour and started walkin down the street and got cought after lik 30 seconds

speared some kid on the soccerfield because he had the ball (10)

locked a kid outa the classroom in 8th grade... got written up for that one

cussed out a girl in the middle of class my sophmore year of highschool (bitch read my love note... i told that trick whats up)

ran into a tree running away from my step mom (8)

dropped the bread at church in front of the entire school... then i just picked it back up and ate it (13)

told a black girl id smack the black off of her and make her white after she said shed smak me (didnt know it was being racist)

shot my dads friend in the eye with a nerf gun... i was a sniper

when sneaking out of my friends we had to jump off the roof and one time i got my foot stuck in the screen door and got flipped upside down

Dug up my neighbors dead lizard after he burried it because I wanted to see it

[dashboardmonkey]

remembered a couple more...............

I was about 7 and was riding a ten speed that was way too gig for me. It had the old metal pedals, fell down and the pedal cut open my scrotum, three stitches worth.

Same summer with the same buddy, we broke into an abandon house, we were throwing bowling balls and other heavy objects at each other through the walls, started a fire in the fireplace. Cops and fire department showed up, I got my ass whipped for that one.

[Scotaku]

Found a big roll of cash in the bathroom. Tried to turn it in to the Principal's Office only to get suspended by the teacher who had given me the pass to use the bathroom.

It's a long story.

It was fifth grade. The school I was in had classrooms that all opened to the outdoors; like townhouses or duplexes. All the lockers were in breezeways under cover but out of doors and the bathrooms/locker rooms were the same way. You always had to have a pass to be outside of a classroom even though there were no "hall monitors" like in some schools. Kids and, ahem, other people could just come and go... namely drug dealers.

So I found this big wad of cash all rolled up and tied with a rubber band. I could have pocketed it (probably should have) but instead I took it to the Principal's Office. They kept me there for a few minutes and thanked me with a big fistful of ice cream passes (the administration had a deal with some ice cream supplier and rewarded kids with free ice cream for good behavior).

I went back to homeroom dumb and happy just to get snatched up by my shirt and marched off to in-school suspension. Mr. Murphy (ptui) was my teacher and, at this school, teachers had the ability to summarily discipline kids by keel-hauling them to a dedicated room for detention, all day, for any reason. Another teacher there kept you seated doing absolutely nothing, for the entire day... no talking, no studying or reading, not even homework! At the end of the day an administrator would come and write up a bunch of stuff that then usually had to be signed off by your parents before you could come back to school. It wasn't my first time... ;)

As I was being dragged off I tried to explain what I'd found and where I'd been and even showed Mr. Murphy all of the ice cream passes I'd been given as a reward. He refused to listen, accused me of stealing the ice cream passes, and I got penned up instead. When the Principal came that afternoon saw me couped up in suspension, he came right over to me and started asking what had I done? I finally got a chance to be heard and was let go without any trouble.

I friggin' hated Mr. Murphy every minute of every day after that. For all I know nothing ever happened to Mr. Murphy for it. He never apologized, that's for sure. Of the few regrets I have in Life, not pocketing that money and getting punished for turning it is number three on my list.

[StereoInstaller1]

lost mine on a bean bag

kicked my step mom in the shin

Look, I don't know you, but you have GOT to take some advice:

Do NOT talk about your Mom for a minimum of 2 paragraphs AFTER you describe where or how you lost your virginity, OK?

thanks.

Luke