Childhood Fail Thread

[jeffw]

at 5 or 6 stood ontop a stove that was on in my rubber rain boots lol stinky and painful

[Best_name_available]

when i was 5 i managed to get my 140 pound dobermans slip-on choker collar over my head. couldnt get it back off. the fire department had to come cut it off

That's gooood.

[Exodus_2pt0]

Were you searching for a doberman thread or something?

[J.Rizo]

wooooooow an 09 bump, thats deep fam...

[Kershaw]

Well we could at least contribute.

When I was 7 I tried to close a Swiss army knife that I was still holding. When the knife pinched my finger and it hurt, instead of opening the blade, I slid it out of my hand. Slicing my finger.

[ST1G]

When I was 2 I pulled boiling water off the stove and burned the shit out of my face and neck. I look like Deadpool now.

[mavrikno13764]

12 years old. Discovered screw drivers.
Took apart my VCR. Pulled the plug behind the TV.
Started looking at the Jammed Tape inside.
Touched something and then lights out for me for 30min.
I woke up with my hair standing and realized I pulled the wrong cord out of the wall.

[Exodus_2pt0]

Not me, but my Daughter.

At about 18 months she shoved a bead up her nose. My Wife got it out and told her not to do it again, but didn't think to take the beads away.

Turn around, 2 seconds later the bead is gone and daughter has a big proud smile on her face. Wife says
"Hunny, where did the bead go?"

"Bead, nose!"

She pushed the thing as far as she could. Doctor sent us to the ER because he couldn't fish it out, and ended up making her bleed while trying. Hospital got it out after some brainstorming.

Solution? Cover mouth, insert low pressure medical grade oxygen into other nostril. The thing popped out like a BB gun.

Best part, I left work early and they paid me for the whole day. That, combined with an awesome health plan ($20 out of pocket) means I made a bunch of free money that day.


Also, no more beads.

[J.Rizo]

Also, no more beads.

not really a fail, but...

in first grade I sat next to this girl who was left handed, so our elbows would always hit when we would write. one day she kept doing it on purpose after I repeatedly asked her to stop. I waited till she stopped for a second, and when she turned to talk to her friend... I cut her ponytail.

the teacher must've known how much of a little twat that girl was because all she did was scold me a little bit and told the girl to stop crying. I didn't get in trouble, and she she stopped bumping my elbow, so at the time it felt like a win.

until I got home, had the great idea to tell my mom my story of triumph, and she beat my ass lol

[shameson]

-When I was 5 I was playing in the bed of my grandpas ford ranger. Got up on the rail to mess around, fell headfirst into the curb. Little blood but no stitches. Still can feel the tiny dent in my skull from that.

Was playing on an electric kids car when I was 3ish and hit a lip on the flooring. Went head first over the front and split my lip open

-Also around that age I fell down our stairs, again head first.

-Was doing some archery with a friend when one of us (think it was him) shot an arrow straight up. Really stupid. Caught in the wind and drifted out of the field and came down into a parking lot. By the sound when it landed it wasn't good. Found it on the hood of car and it had spider web cracked it about the size of basketball. I grabbed the arrow and neither of us never ran so fast in our lives.

-Shot a kid in the eye with an airsoft gun from like 30ft away after he had a meltdown and threw a basketball at my head from point blank

-Threw tomatoes at the bedroom windows of my neighbors so they would splatter

-Had the police called of me twice by two different neighbors. Only two in the neighborhood that me and family didnt like

[15Michaeljoseph]

-- One time I stole a bunch of awesome magnets from my 4th grade teacher, then pussed out and threw them in the trash in the boys room, where they were discovered by the janitor.... And somehow traced back to me. I ended up having to only use the single faculty bathroom for the rest of the year...... My mom beat my ass, but I didn't see a problem with the school punishment. At least I could poop in peace!

-- Also another time in 4th grade a kid and I got into a fist fight over pokemon cards or wall ball or something and I got suspended for 3 days.

-- One time in 3rd grade I had this mega crush on a girl in my class, and told my best friend, who told her best friend, who finally told the girl... And she didn't really like that, so one day at recess I was running past her on the pavement and she straight up tripped me. I slid on my face and ended up with blood all over myself.

Thank god only a couple kids saw this happen, but I was still shunned for 'getting beat up by a girl' for about a month.

Damn. Elementary school was a rough place.

Sent from my XT1064 using Tapatalk

[QUKBMER]

Not me, but my Daughter.

At about 18 months she shoved a bead up her nose. My Wife got it out and told her not to do it again, but didn't think to take the beads away.

Turn around, 2 seconds later the bead is gone and daughter has a big proud smile on her face. Wife says
"Hunny, where did the bead go?"

"Bead, nose!"

She pushed the thing as far as she could. Doctor sent us to the ER because he couldn't fish it out, and ended up making her bleed while trying. Hospital got it out after some brainstorming.

Solution? Cover mouth, insert low pressure medical grade oxygen into other nostril. The thing popped out like a BB gun.

Best part, I left work early and they paid me for the whole day. That, combined with an awesome health plan ($20 out of pocket) means I made a bunch of free money that day.


Also, no more beads.

My daughter did the same thing but while eating corn on the cob at 5 years old.She was screaming and the doctors had to hold her down (she was a strong little girl at 5 lol)Lets just say that even at the age of 17 she won't eat corn on the cob still. lol

[ALYKZANDYR]

Wow, never thought i'd see one of my old threads on the front page again. Looking back I can't believe how much stupid and immature stuff I posted here when I was younger. I could have been using that time to do something productive.

[J.Rizo]

Wow, never thought i'd see one of my old threads on the front page again. Looking back I can't believe how much stupid and immature stuff I posted here when I was younger. I could have been using that time to do something productive.

#7 Throwing a fit because mom wouldn't remove her shirt, I was 3

have you gotten to the root of this since then?

[Nick_S]

Shot out a school bus window with a brick of lego from a sling shot. Cops called, threatened suspension from school. Mom wasn't stoked.

Tried to impress some girls after school one day on my BMX, woke up on the ground with my collar bone nearly popping out of the skin.

Set fire to many things.

Played frisbee with a bicycle chainring. No idea how no one was hurt on this one.