funniest qoutes ever

[F34R]

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

[F34R]

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

[F34R]

Kelly: [practicing a karate move Dwight taught her] HI YAH! Hey that was pretty close!
Dwight Schrute: Good, now let me take you from behind.
Kelly: WHAT?!

[F34R]

not putting miles on your car is like not fucking your girlfriend so she will be more desirable to her next boyfriend.

I love the office:

"I live by one rule: No office romances, no way. Very messy, inappropriate... no. But, I live by another rule: Just do it... Nike."
- Michael in Hot Girl

"A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meridith or Kevin. I mean who's gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin' Donuts?"
- Michael in The Dundies

[thornado327i]

"Of course I love you"

[parkerbink]

When does the funny start?

[Alkasquawlik]

Obama is a waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles.

[briansjacobs]

not putting miles on your car is like not fucking your girlfriend so she will be more desirable to her next boyfriend.