The official "business jargon" you hate to hear thread

[Morrison]

To that end, an ad-hoc committee will be formed to ramp up the lolz.

[Nick_S]

If in my life anyone says to me "let's synergize" ...I will kill them.

[scabzzzz]

"Please advise"...

When I read that, it makes me want to stabmydickwithaneedle.jpg

[z31maniac]

HR is all about the "human interaction" aspect of communication...making it more human and more accomodating to everyone

Maybe, just know that HR is the enemy.

They are not the company for the benefit of the employees, they are there to protect the company FROM the employees.

[Dave McLaren]

Morrison is killing this thread.

No doubt. Not content to just throw out phrases, he sets up little vignettes to play them out.

Question is: how can that be monetized?

[Edev]

"Please advise"...

When I read that, it makes me want to stabmydickwithaneedle.jpg

You sound like you're a technician.

[Raxe]

"Please advise"...

When I read that, it makes me want to stabmydickwithaneedle.jpg

You sound like you're a technician.

Hahaha my thoughts exactly.

[Jand3rson]

Can I get the icon in Cornflower Blue?

[James Crivellone]

I feel we should take a conversation like this offline, overall this does not promote corporate synergy and we should probably circle back on our polices to ensure we can all touch base on making sure we are being proactive and increasing the amount of value-added work we provide at this company.

Afterall, it is what it is :-D

[Jand3rson]

You want me to de-prioritize my current reports until you advise of a status upgrade?

[LJ851]

I feel we should take a conversation like this offline, overall this does not promote corporate synergy and we should probably circle back on our polices to ensure we can all touch base on making sure we are being proactive and increasing the amount of value-added work we provide at this company.

Afterall, it is what it is :-D

Haha! I am so glad i only have myself to answer to.

[James Crivellone]

You want me to de-prioritize my current reports until you advise of a status upgrade?

Joshua,

I think we need to circle back on our original objectives before we toss the ball over to the client. If we miss this opportunity I'm afraid that we will not be promoting positive synergy and most importantly remain competitive.

After you have some time to absorb the latest meeting notes lets connect later this week to ensure we are gaining traction on this deal.

I'll shoot you an email with the notes and most importantly the cover sheet which you continue to leave out of client materials.

Thank you,

James

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[Jand3rson]

That actually made perfect sense.

[rwh11385]

Showtime's House of Lies - a hilarious look into the world of management consulting, with vocabulary lessons.

http://www.sho.com/site/order/preview.do#/HOL_s01_e01

You're welcome. The book it is based on is also good.

[gp.plus]

"Yeeaaahh, you didn't put one of the new cover sheets on your tps reports"