The official "business jargon" you hate to hear thread

[burkey001]

'Leverage' was always the one that got me. Basically "use, steal from, or re-purpose"

And '20,000 / 30,000 / 50,000 feet view' = so annoying but "high level look at the problem".

A few others:
align
bandwidth
boil the ocean
buy-in
circle back
granularality
hard stop
low-hanging fruit
net-net
push back
ramp-up
scope creep
SME, subject matter expert
stakeholder
take the lead on
takeaway
value-add
value proposition
work-around

I hate that they are finding their way deeper and deeper into corporate life and even as Deloitte is trying to limit them because they don't add clarity to communication but rather make everything vague... companies keep trying to sound cool and hip. I laugh sometimes at the terms and use more colloquial and honest terms instead to make a point clearer, but 'they' like it when you use the terms they are used to and like to be dazzled with. It's frightening how easy it is to put on the BS-cap and start spurting out buzzwords once you're surrounded by them long enough.

Longer list: http://managementconsulted.com/core-content/dictionary/

Whoa, whoa, keep it high level here chief. We're not going to deep dive into solution mode here. What's your elevator pitch?

[rwh11385]

Yeah, "best practice" is really annoying too. Because it usually just means 'what everyone else is doing already'. The leaders innovate and do things better than 'best practice'.

I worked at a place that had 10,000 listed acronyms. It drove me crazy being new there, and soon saw how people tried to look smarter by using them even if they didn't mean anything really.

[e30e]

Our job is nothing but FREAKING acronyms, FRA, EEO, UP, RR, HR, SCCM, CLC.....drawing blanks right now because I spend so much time in my head saying what it actually means. Now that I'm home from work, I can actually use real words.

[Turf1600]

"Please advise"...

When I read that, it makes me want to stabmydickwithaneedle.jpg

Ugh I hate that one too.

I'll admit to using "shoot you/me a ___" and "best practice" rarely. Otherwise I'm a really no BS person. I actually find that it rubs people the wrong way. People who use these words get super hot to trot when others do the same.

[markseven]

'Leverage' was always the one that got me. Basically "use, steal from, or re-purpose"

And '20,000 / 30,000 / 50,000 feet view' = so annoying but "high level look at the problem".

A few others:
align
bandwidth
boil the ocean
buy-in
circle back
granularality
hard stop
low-hanging fruit
net-net
push back
ramp-up
scope creep
SME, subject matter expert
stakeholder
take the lead on
takeaway
value-add
value proposition
work-around

I hate that they are finding their way deeper and deeper into corporate life and even as Deloitte is trying to limit them because they don't add clarity to communication but rather make everything vague... companies keep trying to sound cool and hip. I laugh sometimes at the terms and use more colloquial and honest terms instead to make a point clearer, but 'they' like it when you use the terms they are used to and like to be dazzled with. It's frightening how easy it is to put on the BS-cap and start spurting out buzzwords once you're surrounded by them long enough.

Longer list: http://managementconsulted.com/core-content/dictionary/

Best of breed.

[rwh11385]

'Leverage' was always the one that got me. Basically "use, steal from, or re-purpose"

And '20,000 / 30,000 / 50,000 feet view' = so annoying but "high level look at the problem".

A few others:
align
bandwidth
boil the ocean
buy-in
circle back
granularality
hard stop
low-hanging fruit
net-net
push back
ramp-up
scope creep
SME, subject matter expert
stakeholder
take the lead on
takeaway
value-add
value proposition
work-around

I hate that they are finding their way deeper and deeper into corporate life and even as Deloitte is trying to limit them because they don't add clarity to communication but rather make everything vague... companies keep trying to sound cool and hip. I laugh sometimes at the terms and use more colloquial and honest terms instead to make a point clearer, but 'they' like it when you use the terms they are used to and like to be dazzled with. It's frightening how easy it is to put on the BS-cap and start spurting out buzzwords once you're surrounded by them long enough.

Longer list: http://managementconsulted.com/core-content/dictionary/

[ck_taft325is]

"Do what you have to do..."

[alexw]

my most hated by far: "it is what it is"

I agree! I've had several arguments over this.

I hate when you're in a meeting and someone has to "piggyback" on something just said... It's even better when someone piggybacks on a piggyback...

[Mr. Burns]

I just best practiced all over the tps reports.

[Mr. Burns]

"at this juncture"
"gearing up for month end"
"conference call clarifying the area of question as duly noted among us"
"during a limited scope review"

These were all from the same email.

FML.


Translation:
"Currently"
"I'm busy"
"Let's talk about it"
"I sort of read it"

Lol damn. Was I not cc'd?

[BobombETA]

"at this juncture"
"gearing up for month end"
"conference call clarifying the area of question as duly noted among us"
"during a limited scope review"

These were all from the same email.

FML.


Translation:
"Currently"
"I'm busy"
"Let's talk about it"
"I sort of read it"

[markseven]

Some of the phrases listed are a concise and clear, however they are (over)used because of their clearness and conciseness (??!!??).

I will add:

Branding
Mission Critical
Value Add
Compelling

[Q5Quint]

Classic BCG Analysis of Love:
http://www.seth-smith.org.uk/images/...r/LoveLife.pdf

I had many lolz on this one... will forward to ex girlfriends hot roomate.

Why Business People Speak Like Idiots: A Bullfighter's Guide

This looks really interesting. I have been stuck in meeting hell for 4 years and feel like nothing gets done except excellent wordsmithing around a more common term called 'bullshit'.

[browntown]

^^ I agree. I've heard that one while being laid off twice. It is a bullshit filler saying for people that can not articulate a real reason.

[Joe G]

my most hated by far: "it is what it is"

To me thats someone accepting a failure, short coming, not aspiring to do better, and just being a passive bitch.