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    Ah, good old r3v late night.

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      Originally posted by roguetoaster View Post
      ah, good old r3v late night.


      +1
      If it's got tits or tires, it's gonna cost ya!

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        You should have responded with, "my dick is a much more manageable size"

        She probably would have let you pound her fart box
        Originally posted by wholepailofwater
        Q
        :devil:


        WTB: Dove Grey e36 Front Door Panels (2 door)

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          ^Sad to hear about your friend, how's he doing?
          1990 325i
          2004 330i Individual 6-speed
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            Originally posted by IceWhite View Post
            ^Sad to hear about your friend, how's he doing?
            For falling down a 50ft cliff, he's relatively okay. He's not retarded and he can walk.

            The bleeding in his brain stopped a few days ago, so they released him yesterday.

            Now he just has to deal with the long recovery and eating pudding for two months. My friends and I, including the one who went cliff jumping live together, so he's in good care. I think.... lol

            Jesus, this guy should be a vegetable, at least. Saying he's incredibly lucky would be an understatement.
            Originally posted by wholepailofwater
            Q
            :devil:


            WTB: Dove Grey e36 Front Door Panels (2 door)

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              Originally posted by MrBurgundy View Post
              For falling down a 50ft cliff, he's relatively okay. He's not retarded and he can walk.

              The bleeding in his brain stopped a few days ago, so they released him yesterday.

              Now he just has to deal with the long recovery and eating pudding for two months. My friends and I, including the one who went cliff jumping live together, so he's in good care. I think.... lol

              Jesus, this guy should be a vegetable, at least. Saying he's incredibly lucky would be an understatement.
              He is remarkably lucky. Seriously, tremendously, inexplicably lucky.

              I had an old roommate, great guy, who was free climbing with a couple of buddies a couple of years before we lived together.

              One of his friends fell off the rock face, from about 60 ft up. He hit the ground and began the process of the end of his life.

              My old roommate and his friends worked as quickly as humanly possible to get to the ground and save him, but his screams of anguish and death stopped before any of them were even halfway down.

              By the time they got to the ground he was long gone.

              So yeah, I am glad you're friend is OK, because it definitely could have been much much worse.
              My previous build (currently E30-less)
              http://www.r3vlimited.com/board/showthread.php?t=170390

              A 2016 Toyota Tacoma TRD 4x4 Offroad in Inferno is my newest obsession

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                Ugh... Im good on the rockclimbing stuff. Sorry to hear about both guys
                Simon
                Current Car:
                -2003 Mini Cooper R50
                Previous Car Count : 24 ... and climbing...

                Make R3V Great Again -2020

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                  It took us about 45 minutes to climb down to him. His name was called, no response and we couldn't see him.

                  There were two hikers that saw him fall and immediately sent one of their group to the trail head to call for a medevac. The rest of their group sat my friend up, kept him from dozing off and wrapped his head in gauze, which in tandem, probably saved his life.

                  I'll be forever grateful to those, who were strangers at the time, for saving my friends life.

                  Also, this is a perfect example of how basic medical supplies can save someone's, or even your life, in a situation like this. We usually have a decent first aid kit, but in a situation where we have an almost hour long decent, it renders it useless. Those hikers, that saved my friend, were experienced and it saved someones life.
                  Originally posted by wholepailofwater
                  Q
                  :devil:


                  WTB: Dove Grey e36 Front Door Panels (2 door)

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                    God bless those two strangers.


                    1989 325is l 1984 euro 320i l 1970 2002 Racecar
                    1991 318i 4dr slick top


                    Euro spec 320i/Alpina B6 3.5 project(the never ending saga)
                    Vintage race car revival (2002 content)
                    Mtech 2 turbo restoration
                    Brilliantrot slick top "build"

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                      sorry to hear about your friend burgie. also glad to know that he is gonna be ok.


                      Originally posted by Mediumrarechicken View Post
                      Probably dude, maybe sitting in the back is her way to not have coworkers cock block her. The easiest way to find out would have been to say hell yeah they look great, I bet they look a lot better out of a bra, but I guess I'll never know.....

                      I've never passed up on ass, I can always close the curtains, turn off the lights and close my eyes. One time though like 15 years ago when Yahoo chat rooms were popular I was talking to an older woman, she was like 45 and I was 18 or so. She wanted to meet up for sex, she was a solid 4 but I was horny and figured with all her years of experience that it would be worth it. Met up with her and she was a big woman like 250lbs. I thought about driving past her, but being young I stopped. She tried everything she could and I was still limp as hell, she said well I guess this isn't going to work and I said yeah I guess so, I've never had that happen. Fast forward a couple of years and I go over to a female friends house and who is her mom...

                      I banged my friend a month or so after and she says well I'm glad your dick worked this time...

                      Awkward.

                      Tldr I don't turn down clam, although a few times have been really regretable

                      this has to be one of the funniest stories i have read here since (aj's?) story about getting a bj from some chick using too much teeth. thank you for sharing that.

                      there are a good number of opportunities for poon of all shapes and sizes in this industry. some are young-like 21 or so. some are married middle aged women. some are middle aged divorced women. there are plenty of other too, but the quality falls off the cliff as far as i'm concerned. (no offense or pun intended burgie) not too bad considering I'm in my mid 40's. the problem with all that is that i'm married now. i don't want my wife messing around on me when i'm gone, so i feel obligated to pay her the same respect.

                      i'll share an old lady story or two in the coming weeks. you will have to bear with me because they will be almost novella length to do the situation justice.
                      sigpic
                      Gigitty Gigitty!!!!

                      88 cabrio becoming alpina b6 3.5s transplanted s62
                      92 Mtech 2 cabrio alpinweiss 770 code
                      88 325ix coupe manual lachsilber/cardinal
                      88 325ix coupe manual diamondschwartz/natur
                      87 e30 m3 for parts lachsilber/cardinal(serial number 7)
                      12 135i M sport cabrio grey/black

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                        Nonsense Thread

                        Thanks

                        None taken, but to be honest, I did laugh out loud when I read that. Also, I forgot you're married. I'm not trying to endorse adultery here lol.

                        And what kind of mom tells her daughter see tried to bang her friend, whom she met in a chatroom, but couldn't, because she's so ugly it made a fukin 18 year olds dingus not work.

                        What's crazier than that is; her daughter banged you after hearing that story and threw in a nonchalant joke about it.


                        Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
                        Last edited by MrBurgundy; 07-18-2017, 01:50 PM.
                        Originally posted by wholepailofwater
                        Q
                        :devil:


                        WTB: Dove Grey e36 Front Door Panels (2 door)

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                          Oh, how I've missed this place. I'm covering a different position for a few hours today and nothing is blocked at this computer. Feels good to R3v again.
                          88 325i Cabrio
                          04 Neon SRT-4

                          Originally posted by MrBurgundy
                          If R3v was a dude, it would pick up a tinder date naked, with a raging boner, drunk, in an e30 with a shitty interior, a missing sunroof panel, explaining how its a classic while staring at the tinder date's tits.

                          Comment


                            MrBurgundy: Wow, Your friend is lucky! He must have done something good for someone somewhere.
                            At least, things are looking good so far!
                            1990 325i
                            2004 330i Individual 6-speed
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                              Since the subject has been brought up...

                              Back about eight or nine year ago, my best friend in high school comes up to me in between classes, looking super concerned. He asks me, "Does my mouth look weird!?" He opened his mouth and it looked sooooooo nasty. I remember referring to it as a "winter wonderland," because it was caked in this weird looking white shit. Fucking gross.

                              I asked him what the fuck is up with that, and he tells me, "I think I got an STD from going down on someone."

                              Being a sophomore, I wanted to know who, so so badly, but he wouldn't tell me.

                              After school, we were walking home together and I didn't leave him alone until he finally told me who it was.

                              ...Now time for some backstory before we get to who he banged.

                              before all this took place, he was dating a girl, they broke up and another friend, Nick and Kevin's EX got together soon after her and Kevin broke up. He was pretty upset with that. At the time, he told me how he's going to get back at Nick somehow.

                              Kevin was playing it cool with Nick, so he wouldn't put his guard up.

                              Now, fast forward to a week before Kevin came up to me asking about his mouth..

                              Kevin and some other friends were at Nick's house drinking and chilling in the pool. Nick's Mom was there too, drinking and hanging around. Everyone is buzzing pretty good (so some parents didn't give a fuck their kid's friends drinking at their house, how bad is that haha?). The guys decided they wanted to go to 7 eleven to get some shit, but my friend Kevin said he didn't feel like walking, so he hung around. Long story short, Nick's mom got in the Jacuzzi with Kevin, she started to get all touchy feely with Kevin and they went up to her room. This is where my friend went down on this woman, who looks, not even exaggerating, like my last avatar. He probably had to bungee cord some flaps out of the way to get in there.

                              When he told me it was Nick's mom who gave him an STD, I was hysterically laughing, because I knew that was him getting back at Nick---- In no way, shape or form is that getting back at Nick. He went down on of the most foul, nasty moms that our town had to offer. PLUS, he got what he thought was an STD.

                              He was not happy with my reaction at all, and after I calmed down he told me that he needed to tell his parents to he can go to a doctor and get his mouth check out, which he fkin did HAHA! They were soooooooo angry. They knew he was drinking and begged his parents not to go to the police, because everyone would relentlessly make fun of him at school for going down on a hairy whale.

                              Anyways, he gets to the doctor and it turned out he was using SO much Listerine to wash out the taste Nicks mom, it killed all the good bactiria in his mouth, causing him to develop a yeast infection in his mouth

                              So, he told his parents for no reason HA!

                              THEN, Nick finds out about what happened, he is obviously fukin pissed. So, Kevin, "tries" to make amends with Nick, and this crazy bastard buys him ONE converse and gives it to him HAHAHA! And tells him to his face that he would have got him a pair, but his mom is gross HAHAHA! Jesus Christ, that may have been the funniest thing I've ever witnessed. Nick was, probably still is a huge vagina, so he didn't do anything at the time.

                              A month later, Kevin gets his first car and one day he walks out to his car and there's human shit EVERYWHERE... Nick apparently shit on his car twice and got a butter knife and smoothed that shit out over a good portion of his car and under all the door handles LOL.

                              After that, Kevin bought him the OTHER FUCKING converse and Nick and him were all squared away hahahaha. fucking retards..

                              Hopefully this is a good read for someone taking a dump at work. True story here, boyz.
                              Originally posted by wholepailofwater
                              Q
                              :devil:


                              WTB: Dove Grey e36 Front Door Panels (2 door)

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                                Originally posted by MrBurgundy View Post
                                Since the subject has been brought up...



                                Back about eight or nine year ago, my best friend in high school comes up to me in between classes, looking super concerned. He asks me, "Does my mouth look weird!?" He opened his mouth and it looked sooooooo nasty. I remember referring to it as a "winter wonderland," because it was caked in this weird looking white shit. Fucking gross.



                                I asked him what the fuck is up with that, and he tells me, "I think I got an STD from going down on someone."



                                Being a sophomore, I wanted to know who, so so badly, but he wouldn't tell me.



                                After school, we were walking home together and I didn't leave him alone until he finally told me who it was.



                                ...Now time for some backstory before we get to who he banged.



                                before all this took place, he was dating a girl, they broke up and another friend, Nick and Kevin's EX got together soon after her and Kevin broke up. He was pretty upset with that. At the time, he told me how he's going to get back at Nick somehow.



                                Kevin was playing it cool with Nick, so he wouldn't put his guard up.



                                Now, fast forward to a week before Kevin came up to me asking about his mouth..



                                Kevin and some other friends were at Nick's house drinking and chilling in the pool. Nick's Mom was there too, drinking and hanging around. Everyone is buzzing pretty good (so some parents didn't give a fuck their kid's friends drinking at their house, how bad is that haha?). The guys decided they wanted to go to 7 eleven to get some shit, but my friend Kevin said he didn't feel like walking, so he hung around. Long story short, Nick's mom got in the Jacuzzi with Kevin, she started to get all touchy feely with Kevin and they went up to her room. This is where my friend went down on this woman, who looks, not even exaggerating, like my last avatar. He probably had to bungee cord some flaps out of the way to get in there.



                                When he told me it was Nick's mom who gave him an STD, I was hysterically laughing, because I knew that was him getting back at Nick---- In no way, shape or form is that getting back at Nick. He went down on of the most foul, nasty moms that our town had to offer. PLUS, he got what he thought was an STD.



                                He was not happy with my reaction at all, and after I calmed down he told me that he needed to tell his parents to he can go to a doctor and get his mouth check out, which he fkin did HAHA! They were soooooooo angry. They knew he was drinking and begged his parents not to go to the police, because everyone would relentlessly make fun of him at school for going down on a hairy whale.



                                Anyways, he gets to the doctor and it turned out he was using SO much Listerine to wash out the taste Nicks mom, it killed all the good bactiria in his mouth, causing him to develop a yeast infection in his mouth



                                So, he told his parents for no reason HA!



                                THEN, Nick finds out about what happened, he is obviously fukin pissed. So, Kevin, "tries" to make amends with Nick, and this crazy bastard buys him ONE converse and gives it to him HAHAHA! And tells him to his face that he would have got him a pair, but his mom is gross HAHAHA! Jesus Christ, that may have been the funniest thing I've ever witnessed. Nick was, probably still is a huge vagina, so he didn't do anything at the time.



                                A month later, Kevin gets his first car and one day he walks out to his car and there's human shit EVERYWHERE... Nick apparently shit on his car twice and got a butter knife and smoothed that shit out over a good portion of his car and under all the door handles LOL.



                                After that, Kevin bought him the OTHER FUCKING converse and Nick and him were all squared away hahahaha. fucking retards..



                                Hopefully this is a good read for someone taking a dump at work. True story here, boyz.


                                O my fucking god that is the greatest thing i have heard all day and to make it even better i am currently on the can :rofl: twas the perfect shitter story.


                                1989 325is l 1984 euro 320i l 1970 2002 Racecar
                                1991 318i 4dr slick top


                                Euro spec 320i/Alpina B6 3.5 project(the never ending saga)
                                Vintage race car revival (2002 content)
                                Mtech 2 turbo restoration
                                Brilliantrot slick top "build"

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