Nonsense Thread

[Swanny]

How bout those auto flush bastards, splashing poo water all over your undercarriage. Just happened in the airport

[Dozyproductions]

rough. always felt awkward with taking a shit at the airport with my carry on and back pack being in the stall with me. It's like shitting with your tooth brush in the same room. You're just brushing your teeth with tooth paste mixed with your own shit.

[phreshkid]

TIL a girl can be so dumb that I no longer feel attracted to her, no matter how kinda hot she is.

Oh man, this has happened to me more than once. Sometimes I wish they wouldn't speak at all. But only sometimes.

[flyboyx]

Dude yes and not a fan. Hate it when the water always splashes back up even after the first or second log and hate it when in those small toilets seats it feels like your going to shit on your own dick.

yes! i always find that i have to mash my cock up against my taint so i don't touch the inside front of the toilet. then i have to hold it up and snake it down so i can piss in the bowl without the tip going for a swim. thank god for public urinals when you don't have to blast a duke. that shit sucks man!

[myinfernalbmw]

You ever pinch a loaf so long that it slaps you in the back of the balls?

[Dozyproductions]

I don't eat bread so close to my balls in the first place.

[Xat1cZ]

Sometimes I like to sit on my hands until they fall asleep.

Then I rub one out and pretend it's someone else.

I call it The Stranger.

That's what everyone calls it.

[einhander]

That's what everyone calls it.

Stupid.

[Xat1cZ]

Stupid.

[Roysneon]

So last night I picked up a bunch of cool shit at the thrift store. That's where teh story begins. The loot:

Olivia Newton John's greatest hits vol. 2 on vinyl
A likely broken Polaroid 600
A West 49 lunch bag (I don't ever remember seeing one before)
The Virgin Suicides DVD
An Izod collared T
A D-Tox long sleeve button up plaid

A pretty good score. So I throw it all on my bed as I'm fucking with the camera and contemplating pulling one out to the sexy ass picture of Olivia on the record sleeve while I'm chasing my room mate's cat out of the room every 2 minutes. I'm too lazy to just walk over and close the damn door. So after a while of fucking with the cats, their cool one comes in like he's on a fucking mission so I say fuck it and let him in. Jumps up on my bed, sits on the long sleeve, stares me in the face and starts to piss.

One of them had already pissed on my bed once and I didn't know which one so I just cleaned it up and moved on. Now I've got him. I had a split second moment of "OH wat da FACK"! Then scooped up the shirt with the pissing cat still on it and ran it across the hall to the bathroom and threw it in the tub and rinced it out. Cat bailed once we were out of my room, but did have the courtesy to stop pissing. I really don't know why he did that, but he's kinda sick or something but I don't really like cats either way.

Cat died.

[Swanny]

Cat died.

Under mysterious circumstances?

[LJ851]

Cat died.

I love happy endings.

[Roysneon]

Under mysterious circumstances?

Nope, it was already sick. Woke up to my room mate/GF's sister (Yeah, figure that one out) crying and assumed that's what was up.

[lambo]

I actually don't mind Nickleback.

don't shoot me...

[Swanny]

From a group chat regarding my friends bachelor party.