Any one here ever been to jail?

[Alkasquawlik]

Have fun getting raped....

I lol'd.

An officer got me going 97 mph, he was standing still with his LIDAR out and I said screw this dude and downshifted and ran. Big mistake. Ended up crashing at roughly 125 when I began going out of control. I was toast.

What about you guys? Any cool stories?

You're a dumbass. I hope you get locked up for a while.

[Atreus]

don't be a hero
don't start shit
don't share your lunch
dont get caught up with the fuckers in there who have less going than you, it always gets worse.
if you have a friend in there already, click up with them if you can.

when you get in the cell, ask your flatmate if you're fuckin or fighting. lets hope he says fighting, or neither.

enjoy the shitty food, nude dudes, and your skill level playing speed (card game) might increase exponentially. heheh.

have fun, and next time turn left instead of right..... lol. seriously though, just grind through it, you're prolly looking at 90 days, and you prolly will get in a fight. its jail, not prison, so you're gonna deal with more wannabe thugs/dumbasses than actual hardcore fucks in prison.

have fun, and keep your butthole tight

[briansjacobs]

nope. I never got caught!

[briansjacobs]

did out run a state trooper in an E28 on the turnpike at 2:00am, speeds up to 160MPH. Will never do that again!

[xwill112x]

keep your fucking mouth shut. your going to be in there with people that you look at wrong and they whoop your ass to "prove something". you shouldnt get raped, i didnt, and if bubba ever even tryed that shit with me, i would die fighting, or i would kill that sonofabitch and shove his own dick down his fucking throat.

just keep to yourself, and dont start shit. fights in jail are regular entertainment for cops, and they only stop it if need be. its easy to see how to act after a few days. just listen to all the above advise and you should be fine.

[der affe]

how to make stuff in jail:

hooch.....
save up your sugar packs and your fruit salad cups the amount will depend on the size of the plastic bag you can get your hands on. dump the fruit salad in a bag along with 2x the same of sugar packets and 1/2 the amount of water. make the bag air tight (very important) and store it in your toilet for around a month. once the bag is bloated cut it open and drink. it will taste and smell like shit. don't get caught with it, it will get you points which will lead to more time at some point.

tamales..........

get several packs of freetos corn chips, packets of taco sauce, a can of chili and a trash bag. smash up the corn chips into a powder then mix with water to a paste. roll them into a snake and add chili and taco sauce. take a trash bag and cut it to size and roll up your corn snake in the bag and leave it in the sun all day while you are in the yard. take inside and eat.

tattoo ink........

steal mop rags ( about 12 or so) get some paper and make a cone light the mop rags on fire and use the cone to catch the soot from the mop strings, set a side. get hair grease from the comacery and shampoo. mix with equal parts of hair grease and shampoo with the soot. now you have tattoo ink.

[phreshkid]

Dudes, it's jail, not prison. You homos have probably never been except for the select few who actually have. You all sound like my mother. I'll be in less than a month which is peanuts compared to what I should have gotten.

I think you guys are going soft on me!

[structured]

^^ I am trying this. All of it.

[Alkasquawlik]

I think you guys are going soft on me!

We may be going soft on you, but the dudes in jail won't be

[phreshkid]

Ha it's just solano county. No big deal. Maybe I can't run with the big boys, but I sure can outsmart them using cheap magic tricks and candy!

[Fidhle007]

I'm just wondering who here has done time, whether it be in the holding cell, county, or the Pen? I'm going in soon for some bad situations I got caught up with and wanted to know who has been there?

And if it's not too much, what did you go in for?

An officer got me going 97 mph, he was standing still with his LIDAR out and I said screw this dude and downshifted and ran. Big mistake. Ended up crashing at roughly 125 when I began going out of control. I was toast.

What about you guys? Any cool stories?

It's only a shame you didn't die in the wreck because now someday you'll be out to drive on public roads again. If I'd seen you try to run I would have pitted you myself. Slow the fuck down and take a little goddamn responsibility. Fucking Kids.

[TrentW]

It's only a shame you didn't die in the wreck because now someday you'll be out to drive on public roads again. If I'd seen you try to run I would have pitted you myself. Slow the fuck down and take a little goddamn responsibility. Fucking Kids.

True that brother.

[Alkasquawlik]

Ha it's just solano county. No big deal. Maybe I can't run with the big boys, but I sure can outsmart them using cheap magic tricks and candy!

I don't think making a dick disappear into your sphincter counts as a "cheap magic trick". Just an FYI...

[Aptyp]

I've spent 15 minutes in a holding cell, when local cops put out an arrest warrant for me.

I kicked my own apartment door in. Apartment lady changed locks on me with 7 days to go on my lease. She "thought" I was moved out with all my stuff and dogs still inside. I came home with a u-haul on Friday night, tired as hell and ready to move, so I didn't spend a whole lot of time thinking about the door. Cops came and wrote out a report for breaking and entering and damage to private property. I didn't find out about arrest warrant for 3 months, and had to surrender myself to the sheriff's department.

After I explained to magistrate what happened and showed proof of address at that time, I was free to go. I'm glad I got that out of my way, never visiting jail again.

[5spoke]

Dudes, it's jail, not prison. You homos have probably never been except for the select few who actually have. You all sound like my mother. I'll be in less than a month which is peanuts compared to what I should have gotten.

I think you guys are going soft on me!

So you have never actually been, until you probably have been, which means that you might not have been, but then again it doesnt mean that you have not been, so you might have been.