Nonsense Thread

[MrBurgundy]

waffleswaffleswaffleswaffleswaffles. Should have smashed it and then bailed.

Bump for more stories

I need a story to go with my gin and tonic


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[ThatOneEuroE30]

Paging fly boy. I know you got some good ones. You always do

[flyboyx]

i'm fixin'(in that texas kind of way) to fly to pittsburgh in a little while. it might be a few days before i have time to exercise my literary skillz.


speaking of vegas, i am here today. we got in about 10pm last night. i brought my wife with me. nothing to crazy to report other than on the flight here we had a passenger shit a spray of chunky diarrhea all over the floor, walls and door of the lav in the back of the airplane. sometimes i never fail to be astounded by the class of passengers carried these days.

glad i didn't have to deal with it.

[2mAn]

Nonsense Thread

My first blackout

I have to start at the end because thats how the end of a blackout typically starts. I was in a cab heading back to my parents house and when I came to life , the cabby was pulled over yelling at me to get out of the cab. I only had $20 cash and he had driven me as far as that $20 would get me. I proceeded to continue walking back to my parents house, but before I got there, I started to try and connect what happened between now (~5:30am) and when I last remember (~1:30am). While trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together, I realize that Im heading to my parents house on foot, but my car isnt there. My car is at a hotel.



"Ok, lets think back to hotel now, Simon." It was my friends birthday last night and I had bought him a bottle to celebrate with, but when I got there, bottles were already open and shots had been taken. Well, I guess I better catch up. "We're not going anywhere, right?" I ask the group, NOPE several people reply. Alright, lets do some shots!! I take a few, and after I pour myself another one, someone says, "Cabs are here, finish your drinks ! Lets go!!!" FUCK. Slammed the shot

This is the situation I was trying to avoid but here we are, heading downtown and the alcohol is starting to hit me.

Not trying to get out of control, I try to take it easy at the first bar and I'm having a beer. As I'm finishing the beer, I'm pretty drunk but birthday boy is on one and buys everyone shots. FUCK. Take it down. I'm done at this point and after that shot is finished someone announces that it's time to go to the next bar.

This is where is gets reaaaalllly fuzzy.

I remember being at the bar, but that's about it so let me call my friend. Keep in mind it's not even 6am yet.

I didn't get an answer but I arrived home and my Dad asks me where my car is and where I was all night. Before I can even answer he realizes the shit show he's looking at and says, " I don't want to know, you look like you need some sleep "

Later that day I finally hear back from my friend and apparently they all went back to the hotel but my drunk ass disappeared. At the next bar someone bought me a Long Island Iced Tea because I wasn't drinking. While babysitting the drink that I should've never drank the group of idiots decided it was on to the next bar and they made me slam the Long Island.

Now why did my drunk ass stumble off at the next bar?

Well, in my blacked out state of mind I decided head butting my friends and screaming like a banshee was a good idea but the bouncers didn't and I fled the scene.

And that's how I blacked out for the first time and I still don't know what happened between those hours of leaving the bar and walking up with a cabby yelling at me

[flyboyx]

it has been an extremely prolific day for this thread. ;)

[ThatOneEuroE30]

Lol I have never gotten black out drunk before but gotten close. Me and some friends were drinking and i decided to go and get a bottle. Fireball whiskey was my poison for that night. Keep in mind at this time I'm still a minor. I partied way to hard in high school lol. Anyways i grab a bottle and start just drinking straight from the bottle (horrible idea) after about the 3-4 or fourth swig that shit just started going down like water. Next thing I know I'm down an entire 750ml of fire ball and haven't eaten shit all day (mistake number 2) I some who drove my ass home and stumbled in my front door passing out before i even got to my bed. I'm sleeping like a fucking baby until i wake up to me projectile vomiting. I stumble to the bathroom and for a good 20-30 min am just blowing chunks. While walking to the bathroom i blew chunks and paint the walls of the house. My mom wakes up to me stumbling around like a drunkin idiot and all she can do is sit there and laugh. After i cleaned my self up i opened bathroom door to her with the carpet cleaner and i had to get to work. After that i had to stumble up to my friends house cause they were in Colorado and i had to let the dogs out low and behold as I'm packing a bowl i drop the bong and break it now I'm all sorts of fucked up with no smoke and gotta clean up again and buy them a new piece. Moral of that story is don't drink fire ball especially with out eating haha

[2mAn]

Nonsense Thread

So you've browned out? Hahaha

I drank bong water once on accident. That really killed my high lol

[MrBurgundy]

Nonsense Thread

Here's a short one.

One time we were at this party at a house in Newport harbor. Huge beautiful house. Everyone is having a good time. Party is raging. My friend tells me he has to puke and my drunk ass hands a mesh trash can. He started to puke and that shit was spraying everywhere over the carpet, in the middle of all the action. hahahaha.

God, this thread is like nostalgia ultra

Man... I got a million drunk stories... because I'm a piece of shit lol


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[MrBurgundy]

So you've browned out? Hahaha

I drank bong water once on accident. That really killed my high lol

Bong water is, top five, nastiest things. Bless your soul.


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[MrBurgundy]

After this, I'm done spamming this thread.

Throwing another drunk story up in here. I'm going to use names so it's easier to follow.

Enjoy

Years ago, my friend Bridget wanted to set me up with her friend, Nicole. I told her to bring her out that weekend to a show my band was playing. They show up and her friend is banging hot--I was super stoked. We were all hanging out, having some drinks and talking some shit. We go play our set and after we're all done with that, we go out to find them.

At this point, Bridget is black out drunk, outside. Right as I walk out I see her trip and SLAM her face into a car's rear bumper. THEN, my band mate and good friend, Bryan, come up to me and says Nicole is code red. I ask him, "wtf happened!?" He points her out, mind you she's wearing a mini skirt, and she is also black out drunk, plus I see a stream blood coming down her inner thigh.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, why did this have to happen!? Why have a been forsaken by the Gods of love!?

So we have Bridget black out drunk and Nicole is bleeding out and she doesn't even know it....

We get Bridget and her new black eye in Bryan's car, because her drunk ass isn't driving home and Nicole road there with Bridget. At this point, the back of Bryan's car looks like a fucking murder scene. We got two passed out girls, one of them has her legs covered in blood and the other one has a black eye. FUCK.

We get to Bridget's house... -----God, this is the worst part.

By the time we get there, Nicole is waking up... good.... She unbuckles herself and Bridget. Bryan and I get out of his car to help them out, Bryan gets Nicole. As he's doing this I asked Nicole, "Is Bridget laying up again the door?" (my friend drove an Element with limo tint, so I couldnt see her and its a kind of longish way down, if you fell) She said, "no" I open the door and BRIDGET CRASHED FACE FIRST INTO THE SIDEWALK. LOL..

Bryan sets Nicole down by the front door and comes back to help me carry Bridget, who is still passed out. He grabs her arms and I grab her legs... we're walking up to the door..... ......and.... low and behold... her dad opens the door..........................................



What this poor father sees, he will never forget.

One girl laying on the lawn, covered in blood from the waist down and his daughter being carried by two strangers, with a black eye and whatever happened after falling out of the car..


And I kid you not.... Bryan and I were young, dumb, but aware that there was going to be no time at all to explain to this poor dad, that we were in fact, helping those girls, so............ I swear to god, swung bridget back and forwards, and let her fly to her dad's foot feet, and ran like the god damn fucking wind to his car and burnt out leaving.


lol..

[Stanley Rockafella]

[2mAn]

Oh this is good!... I have many drunk stories. I'll have to think of some good ones to type up while I'm bored at work tomorrow.

[ThatOneEuroE30]

Lol burgundy that was a great story. Could only imagine that conversation when they finally came too

[MrBurgundy]

Lol burgundy that was a great story. Could only imagine that conversation when they finally came too

I should hit her up and ask her :rofl:

We have to keep this thread popping with these stories haha. It's too much fun reading these.

[ThatOneEuroE30]

I should hit her up and ask her :rofl:

We have to keep this thread popping with these stories haha. It's too much fun reading these.

It really is. Simon i know you got something brewing. I'm trying to think of some. I smoked most my good stories away so i gotta dig deep to remember lmao.