Nonsense Thread

[MrBurgundy]

I was over at my buddies house chilling with the neighbor guy that moved in a few weeks prior. We were drinking and and he says he has something to do but to come over in an hour. Well me and the friend notice that he didn't drive away, so us been drinking we go to his house to bug him.we knock on the door and he doesn't answer so we yell at him saying hey fucker open up we know you are home type shit. My friend goes to wiggle the door knob and it's unlocked, now it's "we are the police, we have the house surrounded and are coming in!!!". We open the door and get the smell of hot shit right away, I look into the living room and see the big ass.neighbor lady naked and squatting on the glass coffee table taking a shit. Old boy is also naked laying under the coffee table,he has some poop on him and was beating off. I looked away, and he looks at us and I can see out of the corner of my eye that he has poop all over his face. Overwhelmed by the smell and the sight I just saw I run into the yard and puke my brains out.

Dude comes over 20 minutes later and just says hey sorry about that. Like it wasn't a big deal...

That's hawt

[flyboyx]

Well, yeah....I mean I do that sometimes......

Is it not normal to have someone’s else’s poop on your face during an intense fap sesh?

Pretty good story tho..... was it the chick in burgie’s signature?

[ThatOneEuroE30]

Well, yeah....I mean I do that sometimes......

Is it not normal to have someone’s else’s poop on your face during an intense fap sesh?

Pretty good story tho..... was it the chick in burgie’s signature?

Had to of been.

[MR E30 325is]

Damn,

I've seen some things, but a guy furiously beating off while a chick dumps on him, including his face???

ohlawd.jpeg

[Reichart12]

Dude comes over 20 minutes later and just says hey sorry about that. Like it wasn't a big deal...

To be fair, you did walk into his house lol

[MrBurgundy]

That story is an example of true love and the start of a new, lifelong friendship.

[Mediumrarechicken]

Well, yeah....I mean I do that sometimes......

Is it not normal to have someone’s else’s poop on your face during an intense fap sesh?

Pretty good story tho..... was it the chick in burgie’s signature?

Bigger than that. I called her beefalo, she had a gunt and it was massive, like I'm sure she had to prop it out with 2x4's so she could break the suction off the toilet. She came over for a bbq and brought a pack of hot dogs and buns. She fucking ate them all!! I was disgusted, I can eat two and be stuffed and here she is with a plate of hotdogs stacked up like Lincoln logs. She fucking crushed them all.

Before the poop situation she would always tell me how she loves to suck dick and that I should go to her house and everytime I come over she will blow me. I had to make up a story on the fly so I said I have to take a med and that it makes my dick not work all the time. I was told once by a great man, don't turn down a blow job, unless it's a guy offering. I turned it down because Ivwasnt too interested in having a balloon head with a.mouth blow me

[MrBurgundy]

FUCK THAT

Imagine that shit that's going on that dudes face. WTF. Her beefalo pies are probably rank as fuck.

She probably likes to suck dick, because its like a hot dog without the calories.

[Stanley Rockafella]

Ya see, that's how we get the parties started on R3v!!!

...really looking forward to my next visit to Puyallup, WA in a couple of weeks.

[flyboyx]

Bigger than that. I called her beefalo, she had a gunt and it was massive, like I'm sure she had to prop it out with 2x4's so she could break the suction off the toilet. She came over for a bbq and brought a pack of hot dogs and buns. She fucking ate them all!! I was disgusted, I can eat two and be stuffed and here she is with a plate of hotdogs stacked up like Lincoln logs. She fucking crushed them all.

Before the poop situation she would always tell me how she loves to suck dick and that I should go to her house and everytime I come over she will blow me. I had to make up a story on the fly so I said I have to take a med and that it makes my dick not work all the time. I was told once by a great man, don't turn down a blow job, unless it's a guy offering. I turned it down because Ivwasnt too interested in having a balloon head with a.mouth blow me

well, just to reiterate, I would imagine she smells like spoiled milk and has a half inch crust of doodoo circumnavigating her bunghole.

but yeah, I love bj's just as much as the next guy. however, as indicated by the stories posted here, I have turned down a lot of them because...well....I found the chicks fucking gross in one way or another. and there is the likelyhood that if I did all of them I would probably have some sort of vd by now.

[Mediumrarechicken]

well, just to reiterate, I would imagine she smells like spoiled milk and has a half inch crust of doodoo circumnavigating her bunghole.

but yeah, I love bj's just as much as the next guy. however, as indicated by the stories posted here, I have turned down a lot of them because...well....I found the chicks fucking gross in one way or another. and there is the likelyhood that if I did all of them I would probably have some sort of vd by now.

It's not the chance of getting drippy dick, it's more presenting a slug in her mouth instead of a Pringles can

[roguetoaster]

Fat chicks like that might not be in to giving BJs at all, but are probably more in it for the oral fixation. After all, she'd need to stuff her upper hole 3 or 4 solid hours per day to maintain her physique. Or maybe BJs are just her diet regimen as they are a low calorie snack that requires exercise to get.

[Mediumrarechicken]

Fat chicks like that might not be in to giving BJs at all, but are probably more in it for the oral fixation. After all, she'd need to stuff her upper hole 3 or 4 solid hours per day to maintain her physique. Or maybe BJs are just her diet regimen as they are a low calorie snack that requires exercise to get.

Maybe Richard Simmons needs to do a blowin to the oldies video.

[kickinindian]

Holy shit this is r3v gold!

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[Stanley Rockafella]

Maybe Richard Simmons needs to do a blowin to the oldies video.

I'd pay to see that! ;D


....actually no, I probably wouldn't