Is it just me or all the younger women just..

[CabbE30]

You guys are killing me. It's not that hard.
1. find a girl/woman who you like & think you can stand to hang around.

2. Treat her like you'd want to be treated. Dont be condescending assholes, but dont be a pushover little bitch either. Dont be too distant or else you'll get friend-zoned. Make sure she knows you want her but not just for her body. If you act too aggressive, she'll think you're a douche. Don't nag her, give her space, if she wants you in it she'll make it apparent. Make the move if it's right, but dont rush it.

3. If you have a decent job, you can afford to treat her. Take her to do new things, take her to an exotic restaurant or something she hasn't done before, but dont forget about the basics, a good dinner & a nice treat is always good.
Even if you're broke, you can do plenty of free things, free shows, go hiking somewhere, a nice drive somewhere w/ lunch. Seriously just do things she wouldn't expect. Dont be boring!

4. Have some pride & self-respect by working-out/exercising. Take a shower & shave. Wear your nice pants. Act like you care but aren't trying too hard, even if you are. Clean your cars, apartments, houses, etc. DONT be a douche & DONT be a showoff.

These are just the things off the top of my head,
OP you're stuck at #1, but they're out there. Like others have said libraries, stores, normal places, etc.
Others you guys seem to get #1 but are lacking somewhere in the other parts.

I'm not saying I'm a fvcking beast or anything, just what has worked for me & meeting some pretty chill ladies.

Godspeed gentlemen.

[BlackbirdM3]

Optimator commends you for spilling your guts to a sophomoric online forum.

Sometimes you need to ride a moped before you graduate to a motorcycle. If you can't read between the lines, let me be more forward. Fat. Chicks.

May you find what you're looking for,
Optimator!

Hahaha. Sorry, no fat chicks, they don't fit in the cars (I'm not kidding, two normal sized people in the Datsun are a tight fit.) Besides, it will throw the weight balance off.

As for spilling one's guts, nope, this is old news to anyone who knows me.

Now that I've been thinking about it, I think the majority of women are delusional (very generalized here). They expect Brad Pitt, with the improvisational skills of McGyver, the class of James Bond who also happens to be a pro athlete. They say they won't settle for anything but their dream guy. The truth is, everyone settles on some level. No one is entitled to anything. They want the guy who drives the nice new car/truck (it doesn't matter if its a brand new civic or a Bentley) The guys who drive a nice older car are already behind, and it doesn't matter if the car is worth more than the brand new Civic. The guy can have an IQ of 120+ but since he works a no name job (because its all that could be found) he is dismissed.

Bad conclusion: Women are shallow and delusional, but often are nice to look at. Oh yeah, some of them can cook as well. They all seem to be looking for a guy who does not exist and when they don't find him, they blow everyone else off, and whine and complain when guys get tired of playing this game. (But we are dumb enough to keep playing it.)


Alright, enough of my rather biased, frustration fueled, horribly shallow rant...

Will

[Farbin Kaiber]

Damn, I'm having a really bad week, and I still wanna give all you guys in here a big hug. It's tough for me to read and then personalize the "internal bummer meter level", my heart really goes out to you guys.

On my end, I never had much trouble dating once I was towards the end of HS, plenty of short term relationships (one night to a few months), a four year long live-in almost ended up married one, and now a nine year long total, married for a year almost.

If anything, I can say the biggest issue I feel I'm reading is the issue of snowballing self fulfilling prophesy of doubt and a dash of the scent of overeagerness. Being too focused on it is like the old wives tale of a watched pot never boiling.

[Optimator]

Dude, I'm sorry. I hope you find a way out sooner than later. Still, the only people I hear the "you are so amazing you deserve someone really nice" are from married friends.

Optimator commends you for spilling your guts to a sophomoric online forum.

Sometimes you need to ride a moped before you graduate to a motorcycle. If you can't read between the lines, let me be more forward. Fat. Chicks.

May you find what you're looking for,
Optimator!

[previasc96]

Most humans do

No one wants to hear it, but I'll say it anyway. There are great women at church.

You shouldn't go just for the sake of meeting a woman, but I will tell you that many women in the church will be the type that you are looking for.

Hold on there buddy! Be careful of using words like Chruch, God, Or bible on R3v... people will attack you and call you a primitive idiot, despite the fact that the majority of human beings on the planet believe in a higher power and a great number of believers subscribe to some sort of doctrine or belief system that's been pasted down from generation to generation.

[BlackbirdM3]

I'm pretty much you just 12 years younger.

I'm that guy who always gets told "you deserve someone better than me" or "you are so amazing you deserve someone really nice"

None have stepped up to the plate though.

Dude, I'm sorry. I hope you find a way out sooner than later. Still, the only people I hear the "you are so amazing you deserve someone really nice" are from married friends. I don't even get the chance to hear it from anyone else. Its a pretty well known fact that few/no women want a 36 year old guy who has never been in a relationship. They are all looking to get married and have kids, I not looking to do that just yet (I don't know that I even want kids, but its kind of a mute point anyway. I have no interest in starting a family at 40, and I can't see getting married without having at least 2 different relationships. Time has run out on that one.) I need to learn to walk before I run.

Funny side note, one of my female friends who is a few years older than me once told me I'm married to my Datsun. (She was my first autocross driving instructor back when I had just gotten my driver's license at age 25. I did my first autoX literally a week after I got my license.) She also said that the M3 was my mistress. Oddly enough, the two cars don't like to be parked in the same garage together. When it does happen, neither one runs right the next time I take one out. Its like they are jealous of each other. If I keep the two separate, no problems whatsoever.

On that note, I'm going to take the "Ultimate Driving Machine" for a spin. Its faithful, doesn't complain and keeps me entertained. Not to mention, it always looks good.

Will

[Holland]

I wouldn't say I have an aggressive personality, I don't know Karate, I am the most self sufficient and independent person I know, and well, perhaps a little self absorbed (its hard not to be when you are 36 years old and not a single person has ever openly shown any interest) All my friends wives wonder why I'm single, they haven't come up with a reason that I am (I only know 3 people who are single, everyone else is either married or close to it. Not a one of those single people are local.)

I've run across the "want to be liked, but not too much" I liked her, I thought she was into me. We spent a fair amount of time together (mostly mountain biking, but socially as well from time to time.) Her roommate (who I'd known for years before I met her) thought I had a shot. She decided a pot smoking dimwit was the better choice. :down: We have remained very distant friends, but that is it. Years later I asked where I went wrong, she had no answer.

The interesting thing I've heard from almost all my friends who's ex-girlfriends knew me, of my circle of friends I was the one they liked the most, but still would never date. (Sorry, poorly worded) This has been a reoccurring thing. This has happened with most of my friends, with most of their exs.

Heck, I didn't go on my first date till I was 30 (coffee, never saw the chick again.) I get maybe 1 person every year and a half or so who is interested in getting a free coffee or meal (on me). They are never interested in a 2nd.

At this point I've more or less given up. I have cool toys instead. Its their loss. Still a little companionship would be nice once in awhile. Going everywhere and doing everything by myself is kind of a drag. Eating out really sucks when you ask for a table for one. (Hence the reason I have no clue what the good restaurants in the area are. )

Like I said before, all you people who are complaining about this and that consider yourselves lucky. You could be stuck in my shoes.

By the way, no I'm not looking for sympathy. I am curious to find out what its like to not be single however.

Will

I'm pretty much you just 12 years younger.

I'm that guy who always gets told "you deserve someone better than me" or "you are so amazing you deserve someone really nice"

None have stepped up to the plate though.

[BlackbirdM3]

wow dont be so hard on yourself. I would be coincided unfortunate looking to most people and yet i found a good looking woman to marry me. it's all about presentation.

sure bets you will be single, if you act:
aggressive personality (too much on the prowl scares women)
in a karate class
needy personality
being self absorbed

women are just like cat. they get bored easily, they want what is just barley out of reach. they want to be liked but not too much bc then they will run in hide. they like shiny things. and they hate being ignored / not heard.

my first date with my wife was a cool night, i offered her my jacket even tho it made me cold. for our second date i took her skiing. then i left the ball in her court to call me back and ask me to do something with her.

but if you are serious about wanting to meet some nice girl, find out what your guy friends girls think about you. then change accordingly.

I wouldn't say I have an aggressive personality, I don't know Karate, I am the most self sufficient and independent person I know, and well, perhaps a little self absorbed (its hard not to be when you are 36 years old and not a single person has ever openly shown any interest) All my friends wives wonder why I'm single, they haven't come up with a reason that I am (I only know 3 people who are single, everyone else is either married or close to it. Not a one of those single people are local.)

I've run across the "want to be liked, but not too much" I liked her, I thought she was into me. We spent a fair amount of time together (mostly mountain biking, but socially as well from time to time.) Her roommate (who I'd known for years before I met her) thought I had a shot. She decided a pot smoking dimwit was the better choice. :down: We have remained very distant friends, but that is it. Years later I asked where I went wrong, she had no answer.

The interesting thing I've heard from almost all my friends who's ex-girlfriends knew me, of my circle of friends I was the one they liked the most, but still would never date. (Sorry, poorly worded) This has been a reoccurring thing. This has happened with most of my friends, with most of their exs.

Heck, I didn't go on my first date till I was 30 (coffee, never saw the chick again.) I get maybe 1 person every year and a half or so who is interested in getting a free coffee or meal (on me). They are never interested in a 2nd.

At this point I've more or less given up. I have cool toys instead. Its their loss. Still a little companionship would be nice once in awhile. Going everywhere and doing everything by myself is kind of a drag. Eating out really sucks when you ask for a table for one. (Hence the reason I have no clue what the good restaurants in the area are. )

Like I said before, all you people who are complaining about this and that consider yourselves lucky. You could be stuck in my shoes.

By the way, no I'm not looking for sympathy. I am curious to find out what its like to not be single however.

Will

[funcrew]

No one wants to hear it, but I'll say it anyway. There are great women at church.

You shouldn't go just for the sake of meeting a woman, but I will tell you that many women in the church will be the type that you are looking for.

I went this route 20 years ago; There's pros and cons. I know a lot of guys my age (old) that are married to fat, sexless, non-working drones they met at church. A minority few got lucky and their 40+yr wives are hot and treat them like gold. My point is that the church thing does not prevent the long-term liabilites of a monogamous relationship based on fear of financial and social ruin.

My advice: Figure out how to make a living online, move to Thailand, and hire a freelance girlfriend under monthly contract. And don't send money to her while you're back in the States. I wanted to do that, but my wife vetoed it.

[Vedubin01]

Im married, so its just window shopping for me, and i like what i see. LOL

They also say... sometime you have to eat out, to enjoy home cooking! ;)

[golde30]

but if you are serious about wanting to meet some nice girl, find out what your guy friends girls think about you. then change accordingly.

THIS. My wife is constantly giving my friends advice. whether or not they follow is a different story.

[golde30]

Im married, so its just window shopping for me, and i like what i see. LOL

[Holland]

asking yourself "would you want to be with you, with the way you act currently?" if you cant say 100% yes, the make that change.

Something like this. I'm nowhere near the person I want to be, and a person nobody wants. It sucks but I'm here and there is only one way to go whether I want to or not.

With that said, I'm quite fine being myself, in fact I might be too much myself. I find it makes me pretty much incompatible with anyone.

[Cabriolet]

I'm sorry eric, but this is awful advice.
Changing yourself in order to find a girl?; once found said girl, you start acting like your true self and WILL lose the bisch, guaranteed.
Just do you and everything else will workout, broads included.

Sina, im saying maybe a full life change is needed for some people. and i have 2 friends in mind. they are nice guys but cant catch women to save their lives. i was able to change, when i saw that i was going about it wrong. i started taking ballroom classes, communication classes and reading relationship books.

asking yourself "would you want to be with you, with the way you act currently?" if you cant say 100% yes, the make that change.

[mcr_driver]

From many of the posts there is an underlying theme: patience. This has cropped up in two ways here, the reality that many people lack any semblance of it these days (in particular, but not limited to, the younger generation of people). There is definitely a sense of entitlement that everything should be presented in the here and now, that waiting is something "other people" have to do.

It is okay to be frustrated with the search for a good woman, every man has been there at some point, however, do not let it consume you, otherwise you are no different from the rest of the "I need it now" generation that many here have identified and spoken against. Step back, recognize things for what they are, take a deep breath, and move forward accordingly.

Patience is also popping up here in a different fashion as many posts have spoken about the reality that there is plenty of time for you to find someone special. I find that the best things that I've ever had in life (whether that be my current gf, my career, etc) have come after having patience and realizing that there is a level of effort required to attain things that are actually meaningful.

The funny thing of it is, usually people look for the right girl in all the wrong places, like bars or clubs. I'm sure there are plenty that have found their special someone at such establishments, but the reality is that 99% of people go there to find casual hook ups, not longterm relationships, by searching there, you are paddling against a severe current.

Make things less stressful, don't put such an emphasis on finding a woman, let it be more organic. Be more friendly to the average person you meet; you'd be surprised how many relationships started from a passing hello at a local park or the grocery store. That girl that's the cute cashier at your favorite store, strike up a conversation with her, working all day making change and bagging items gets pretty boring and most people show zero interest in those people. All it takes is making someone feel human and not part of the machine to start that spark. Ultimately, I leave you with this, you never know.


And that is my philosophical discussion for today.

Most useful post of the thread +1

Side note that's why men invented anal and oral sex, for random encounters with whiney women that need to be shut up or plugged up.