The Official Drunk & Stupid Thread

[Mr. Burns]

So a couple nights ago I was like, I just wanna go to a bar and get some drink on because I just needed to really chill out, and hopefully catch a broad worth wrecking.

I went to some random bar that I've never been to before, by myself. I ordered a beer, then I ordered some nachos because I felt hungry, so what. After a time this girl come in. You could say that she was bangable. We got to talking about mundane crap. We both drank a lot. She invites me back to her place because I offered to help wire up some stereo system or whatever. We were both intoxicated.

Anyway, so we're in her room, on her bed, doggie-style-roughness. I'd lost track of time so I don't remember much, but I have this moment where I sort of zone out. Something on the wall catches my eye. It's a poster of the Cookie Monster. It's just him, no other Sesame Street pals. And he's just looking at me. He's just got this look on his face. I could see in his eyes what he was thinking. "Hey, man, why don't you quit humping that slut and get me some fuckin' cookies?"

Entranced as I was, I'd neglected my thrusting. The woman noticed, craned her neck to see, and slurred, "Hey, what'r'you doin?"

Something deep in my soul started building, an animal sensation. I don't remember much, just an overpowering urge. It rose from within the deepest depths of my being. I looked the bitch in the face, and let it loose, a heaving gutteral roar.

"COOKIE!!!!!"

Upon which I resumed hammering her twat with a gusto that I had never before delivered to any woman.

superlame.

if this girl was, as you mentioned 'bangable' the likelyhood of your mundane performance is justified by your losing focus and having to seek optics for entertainment in her bedroom.
as a 1st bang, certainly a typical guy wouldn't start thinking about sesame street, and blurting out a catch-phrase from our childhood.

the social outting practice of redeeming rewards of the "table for 1" followed by beer and solo nachos are a common occurance...perhaps this story has 1oz of truth to it.

[A_Whelan]

This didn't seem important enough for it's own thread and I thought it would do well here:

If you've ever typed in e30 into google images you get a lot of standard e30 photos. However, if you type in "e30 is lip" a lot of really nice e30s pop up, saw some new ones I hadn't seen before. Try it out.

[devon.818]

This didn't seem important enough for it's own thread and I thought it would do well here:

If you've ever typed in e30 into google images you get a lot of standard e30 photos. However, if you type in "e30 is lip" a lot of really nice e30s pop up, saw some new ones I hadn't seen before. Try it out.

I don't think you are old enough tobe in here pal

[e30shmobberr]

This didn't seem important enough for it's own thread and I thought it would do well here:

If you've ever typed in e30 into google images you get a lot of standard e30 photos. However, if you type in "e30 is lip" a lot of really nice e30s pop up, saw some new ones I hadn't seen before. Try it out.

Wtf no relevance to drunk shenanigans at all

[ReallyDirtyThirty]

Clean and Sober was at the top of off topics. Couldn't have that on a Friday. Tonight I'm getting drunk on Budwieser and watching Arena Car Racing at the Richmond Coliseum. You gotta be real drunk, but its hilarious.

[LJ851]

^ Sounds like a good place to people watch as well!

[Joe G]

Johnny Red manhattans, Bud heavy, and senseless binge drinking....Girlfriend is on her way to pick me up for.........Will report back tomorrow.

[S62]

Meh, I had a pretty crazy night last night but now im super hungover (as always). Does anybody have any advice besides drinking water?

[Ryan...]

fucking free guinness at my friends bar. I already feel like absolute dick. Imma light drinker and god damn 6 pints and I feel like shit son, had some shots first and my head is spinning. R3v is logged on so I will continue posting till I feel the need for a toilet

[Fifteen]

Shots every time the Pats make a touchdown...sober so far.

[Fifteen]

Sounds like a boring afternoon/evening.

gave up drinking out of anger voodoodollsofgiantsplayers.


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[Joe G]

^like.

[InuFaye]

ugh headache just need to drink more water.

[slammin.e28]

ugh headache just need to drink more water.

Drink water wetter. Works a helluva lot better!

[JRector]

Whether its a girly ass beer or not...

Leinenkugel FTW!

Shit is fucking tasty.