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Project Meat-flange - an Australian story that doesn't involve Nicole Fucking Kidman

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    #31
    I had some time to spend on Meat Flange today and so got jiggy under the bonnet cleaning shit. Figured I needed to have a look at what I was working with for the next few months. And I was bored. And I had beer. So I scrubbed the Christ out of the rocker cover and took a look at the rocker gear - it looked like a volcano had taken a shit in there 'cause it was nice and black and crusty. Mmmm crusty black lava anal puss... mmmm... Tomorrow she's getting a litre of diesel in the oil filler to clean it out and some fresh oil.

    At least the rest of it looks good. I do need to work out why my front fogs aren't working. Seeing how the light on the inside isn't turning on there is probably a bunyip molesting a relay in the engine bay - the one type of relay I don't have spare. Ballsack shitlips.

    Originally posted by e30guydownunder View Post
    incorrectomondo....our "euro" 318i's got the lowly M40 engine, only thing its good for is donating the block to an M42 build :D
    Actually, the only good thing for them is to be bathed in the urine of a thousand homeless bums before being launched, flaming, on a trebuchet into a field of Elvis impersonators.

    Note, this is a trebuchet.



    This is an Elvis impersonator ready for death by flaming nugget motor


    This is a homeless bum.
    Last edited by Iain; 07-11-2009, 07:01 AM.
    Pork Hunt Motorsport

    eBay is like the summit racing catalog for today's special Olympics crowd

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      #32
      Lol. this is such an interesting thread. Doesn't matter if not much happens, just entertaining as all hell to read.
      1985 M10b18. 70maybewhpoffury. Over engineered S50b30 murica BBQ swap in progress.

      Originally posted by DEV0 E30
      You'd chugg this butt. I know you would. Ain't gotta' lie to kick it brostantinople.

      Comment


        #33
        Originally posted by FredK View Post
        Are those wristyz $5AUD? What's that in USD.

        Remember downunder, a wristy goes down-up, rather than up-down, due to the coriolis effect.

        SILBER COMBAT UNIT DELTA (M-Technic Marshal)
        RTFM:http://www.r3vlimited.com/board/showthread.php?t=56950

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          #34
          Originally posted by Ray Smoodiver View Post
          Remember downunder, a wristy goes down-up, rather than up-down, due to the coriolis effect.
          Condors can tailor your order to spec. He's talented like that.

          Talented like Tom Selleck's moustache in Magnum PI.
          Pork Hunt Motorsport

          eBay is like the summit racing catalog for today's special Olympics crowd

          Comment


            #35
            WTF man?

            I still haven't recieved my Certification of entry into Pork Hunt Motorsports - North American Divison.

            PHM - NADs! Represent!

            -------------------------------------------------------
            DAMN UPDATES!!!

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              #36
              Jesus, I'm ashamed I'm just now stumbling onto this thread. I can't wait for more posts / progress. I laughed a lot in 3 pages, that doesn't usually happen. Props on achieving funny.

              PM me for detailing services in the Longmont / Boulder Area in Colorado!
              Originally posted by DTM190
              "fuck the kangaroo dude, his toilet water swirls the wrong way anyway, plus i never liked crocodile dundee or Steve Irwin and vegemite tastes like shit"

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                #37
                I demand moar funny updates :hitler:

                Comment


                  #38
                  ^ This.
                  1985 M10b18. 70maybewhpoffury. Over engineered S50b30 murica BBQ swap in progress.

                  Originally posted by DEV0 E30
                  You'd chugg this butt. I know you would. Ain't gotta' lie to kick it brostantinople.

                  Comment


                    #39
                    Unfortunately, Meat Flange has been left to sit in the garage and gather dust. I'm hoping it is Speed Dust - a rare Southern Hemisphere form of dirt that settles on cars and makes them not only faster, but awards them maximum internet e-points. If I can get an inch of Speed Dust on my car, I'll have an e-penis that'd shame a blue whale, and everyone knows that when you flop 'em out on a forum - whalecock can't be beat.

                    Anyway, I scored a set of 15" E36 'weaves from South Australia - roughly 1400km away from me - for the price of a couple of cases of beer, including transport back to me. Well, to tell you the truth I stumbled across the wheels on eBay and discovered (by mistake) the seller is a mate of mine. So, after some shenanigans the wheels ended up free and the transport was a couple of cases of beer (as beer is a trading currency for car parts in Australia).



                    As I'm paying them in beer the wheels haven't left Adelaide yet as the guys down there are still drunk and won't be sobering up any time soon. Apparently you have a lot of spare time in the Royal Australian Air Force and that means you can basically live at the pub for 2 weeks straight when on leave. I am envious of my mates down there, even with the huge whalecock potential my car now possesses.

                    Hmmm. Where was I? Ah yes, shitlips and pissing on tits - I had a faint hope those wheels would clear E36 M3 brakes but that ain't going to happen, so they'll be used to roll the shell around once I've got the 5-lug shit in and will go on to become burnout/spare rims. That is all a fair way off though as I still need to get the 5-lug suspension parts together, let alone into the car, and I don't yet know what way I'm going to go for struts - make some custom coilovers or just buy some KW coilovers (E36 M3 fronts and Z3 M rears).

                    I've also been thinking about what engine I want to put in this thing - originally I was thinking of an aluminium Euro M52B28 with M3 cams and ITBs to keep the weight off the front-end. I know of an S14 that needs a rebuild and was offered to me cheap if I rebuilt it and strapped a turbo on it, but I don't have that kinda coin. Pork Hunt Motorsport and all, remember?

                    Lately I've been thinking that a V8 is more the go with the options being a light, strong engine that won't cost the earth, so a 1UZ or 3UZ-FE, LS1/L98 or maybe a VK56DE from a Titan). I still want a lighter engine over the front-end so as not to hurt the handling, but I also want the thing to actually go fast. Conflicting goals make me sad :( <-- look how sad I am. Skids make me happy, though. :D <-- happy skid face with lots of smoke! Yay!

                    Looks like the Nissan VK motor is out as it's way too wide and the LSx engines are going to be too hard to get road registered, which is all due to my state government being a bunch of thumb-handed sister-fisting morons with their heads so far up their arseholes that they can sneeze on their pancreas (they say 5.7L in an E30 is too big and the engine would have to comply with new car emissions standards which ain't gunna happen).

                    One thing swinging my opinion of the 1UZ/3UZ is the fact that a place out here does a conversion kit for them. http://www.rodshop.com.au/bmw/bmw_3.htm

                    I would like to keep a BMW motor in the E30, but they're a) ridiculously expensive out here to buy, b) impossible to get power out of as no waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles out here has hot-up parts for them, c) mod-for-mod the Tojo V8 will leave it for dead IMO. And hey, at least its not a fucking rotary - I'd sooner bore a second anus for myself using a teaspoon and my knuckles than fit a rotor.

                    So yeah, nothing apart from a lot of verbal masturbation has happened. I'm still a Pork Hunt, I still have a shit 4-cylinder SOHC nugget in the garage and I'm still painting on the wall with my own faeces and mayo trying to work out what fucking engine to put in the Delphin Slutburger. I'd apologise for this update being un-funny and something of a let-down, but I'm a waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles and so here is a photo of a dead kitten.


                    Ok, so it wasn't a real dead cat. Hey, as TISM said, "I might be a waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles, but I'm not a fucking waffleswaffleswaffleswaffles".

                    For you Americans who have never heard of TISM -

                    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Might...waffleswaffles

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phuaH2gE2WM

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phuaH2gE2WM

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtRyUZYIvPM
                    Last edited by Iain; 08-02-2009, 04:37 PM.
                    Pork Hunt Motorsport

                    eBay is like the summit racing catalog for today's special Olympics crowd

                    Comment


                      #40
                      lololololol
                      Tim.

                      Comment


                        #41
                        Originally posted by Iain View Post
                        ...
                        c) mod-for-mod the Tojo V8 will leave it for dead IMO. And hey, at least its not a fucking rotary - I'd sooner bore a second anus for myself using a teaspoon and my knuckles than fit a rotor.

                        I LOL'd, LOL'd so hard I sharted.
                        /me goes to clean me drawers now.

                        --------------------------------------------------------------
                        DAMN PORK HUNT FOR LIFE!!!

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                          #42
                          your shitbox (with it's inch of speed dust and magnificent e-cock) > my shitbox (318)


                          the 1uz is a pretty sick motor, i considered doing the swap instead of the m50 since I had a 1uz spare... but there isnt any one to get the fabricated swap parts from here in the US, have to ship them all the fuck way from your side of the globe
                          http://l0st0n3.mybrute.com
                          http://l0st-0n3.mybrute.com
                          Work in progress: 1991 318i m50 swap

                          Feedback thread :up:

                          Originally posted by slammin.e28guy
                          I prefer having a female in the car at all times. They generally smell good, but you do have to put up with that hole in their face.

                          Comment


                            #43
                            it is time for an update, even if it only results in another dead kitteh
                            - Chris
                            Project M42 - 255 @ 19 psi

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                              #44
                              Iain "And hey, at least its not a fucking rotary - I'd sooner bore a second anus for myself using a teaspoon and my knuckles than fit a rotor." <--- nice
                              Last edited by 313; 09-07-2009, 01:43 AM.

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                                #45
                                sooo.. hows meat-flange coming along?
                                Tim.

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