Any one here ever been to jail?

[phreshkid]

no bullshit here folks. It's all true. I'm not in jail retard, learn to read. I said I'm going in soon for two months.

[Farbin Kaiber]

^^^ You sound like a bullshitter. I can smell a bullshitter.

I'm an entrepreneur of sorts though. Let's just say I make "residual income."

Did you invent the fucking ShamWow?

[Alkasquawlik]

I'm an entrepreneur of sorts though. Let's just say I make "residual incum."

oooooo I see what you do now. cool.

[fryerfighter94]

Op what a fag. How the fuck are you even posting if youre in jail? I call BS on entire situation, if you know people who were there why even post a thread asking for advice also?

[phreshkid]

Yeah but my sentence is two months in total and given California's overcrowded jail/prison system, I'll be out in 3-4 weeks if that. I know two guards at the jail where I'm staying and I got good with one of them. It obviously won't be a walk in the park but i don't think I'll be getting raped consecutively over my short stay there. I don't speak from experience but I know enough people who have done time to base my assumptions off what they have gone through. And I don't deal drugs. Not for many years. I'm an entrepreneur of sorts though. Let's just say I make "residual income."

[BigD]

Dunno how it works down there (or how much of the OP story is true), but it's probably similar to Canada. I've got a few friends with sketchy pasts and they've shared their experiences with me at length, and they're worth sharing.

Here, prisons are split up into under 2 and 2+ year terms. The best account of it I got was from a drug dealer who thankfully for him got caught with personal quantities and had to do 6 months while being a K addict.

First off, when you're handed over to the system, you're no longer human. There's no process, you're taken as you are and shoved in a meat truck with no AC. His ride was in the middle of a summer night, 3 hours to the jail.

When he arrived, he saw he had no sheets - no one around to do it so he slept on the floor. His friends and other people I talked to have said that within the first week or two, you're going to get attacked. It's going to be a group of guys and you're going to get your ass kicked. But no matter what, you have to go down swinging. If you do, it'll likely never happen again. If you don't, it'll likely never stop. I asked what the fuck the guards are there for, and he said if you ever go inside you'll understand. There are way too few of them and they're not going to risk getting hurt over some criminal. They wait until things sort themselves out and then move in to clean up. They're only really there to prevent you from escaping.

He said he got lucky and no one got to him. But he also said that you quickly realize that this isn't the biggest problem. The biggest problem is having nothing to do. Every day, the same cell, same common area, one TV with a non-offensive channel on, repeat. He said you start praying for something, anything different. He also said that he can see how in the 2+ year terms, after a few years or decades of this, a dude's asshole (or his cock in yours) won't look that bad, gay or not.

He worked in the kitchen which sucked for having to get up early but otherwise it was one of the better gigs. Instead of the same fucking meal each day, you can sorta mix it up for yourself, plus if you're into bodybuilding, you can load up on milk and shit. He also collected the empty milk cartons. For some reason their gym had no weights so they put water in the milk cartons, put them in bedsheets and used them as dumbells.

He didn't go into too much detail of his withdrawal except to describe it as having the worst stomach ache you can imagine, except no matter what position you try lying in bed or anything, there's nothing you can do to make it stop... for weeks. You also puke up pretty much anything you eat.

The way he described it all really bugged me. Something about the finality of it all, I guess that's what it was like to be a slave. At least he had a release date. Anyway, like Robocop said, stay out of trouble.

[Cabriolet]

glad to hear you didn't spend time. i do have my own popo stories and i hate cops and public defenders, because of it. i was innocent but had to spend several days in court and still ended up getting a raw deal. and just remember if you cant do the time don't do the crime. and always drive below 80mph

[Fidhle007]

Want to buy some shit?

[Farbin Kaiber]

^^ Sounds like the swagger of a drug dealer. You should probably just go to jail.

[Fidhle007]

Now let's talk about the notoriously inaccurate E30 speedometer...

[phreshkid]

I don't have a taxed job but I do have a job so it's as if I don't have a job at all. I paid thousands in lawyers and they still somehow managed to bend me over and hurt me more than they were supposed to help me. The cop was never less than 350 yards behind me and never turned on his sirens but he supposedly lit me up. I got off with a misdemeanor after 10 months of court sessions and haggling with the DA. I put together a stellar mitigation report full of letters from doctors, lawyers, pastors, and two professors from my local college and UC Berkeley. That helps out a lot whether I thought it would or wouldn't. I'm not a bad kid, I just made the stupid mistake of thinking I can outrun a radio. I graduated highschool with a 3.9 and I was barely there half of the time. I'm not a stupid kid, but I do make stupid decisions from time to time.

[leland21]

Yeah it pretty much sucks, I was only in for two days but got stuck in a cell with a guy coming down off heroin that snored while he was awake and looked like he just got stabbed in the face. If you don't have a record and are in for non violent crimes they will usually put you in a block with the same type of "criminals."

I would advise getting some books when they offer and don't make the same mistake I did of sleeping all day, as time seems to go slower sitting in a dark cell not being able to sleep(not that it's all that easy anyways).

From what I've seen/heard fights usually go down between two guys that want or like to fight, if you're not the tuffest guy there they will have nothing to prove by fighting you.

The best and biggest bit of advice I can give you is to go spend the money and get a lawyer. Hopefully you have a job, the courts know you won't/can't pay if you get fired and they want their money so plea for no jail time in order to keep your job.

[leland21]

Yeah it pretty much sucks, I was only in for two days but got stuck in a cell with a guy coming down off heroin that snored while he was awake and looked like he just got stabbed in the face. If you don't have a record and are in for non violent crimes they will usually put you in a block with the same type of "criminals."

I would advise getting some books when they offer and don't make the same mistake I did of sleeping all day, as time seems to go slower sitting in a dark cell not being able to sleep(not that it's all that easy anyways).

From what I've seen/heard fights usually go down between two guys that want or like to fight, if you're not the tuffest guy there they will have nothing to prove by fighting you.

The best and biggest bit of advice I can give you is to go spend the money and get a lawyer. Hopefully you have a job, the courts know you won't/can't pay if you get fired and they want their money so plea for no jail time in order to keep your job.

[///digitalme]

130 is a 318is?

proof? 122mph tops from factory.

And I find it hard to believe this kid was topping out running from cops

i didnt know that was the top speed...i always thought it was it was 145?
ive only hit 110 on my 318is....

but jail sucks man!....atleast for me it was california sucks...i was in jail and was innocent......just like everyone said...keep the butthole closed squeeze your butt real hard when youre showering or while asleep...

[SamE30e]

Night night, keep your butt hole tight!