Dumbest things you've heard people say about/seen people do to their cars

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  • 15Michaeljoseph
    E30 Mastermind
    • Aug 2013
    • 1693

    #241
    Originally posted by chadthestampede
    I work at a dealership and someone called and asked for pricing on a 'glove department' the other day.
    Haha sorry you have the wrong number *click*


    --Mike
    (OO=[][]=OO) For Life

    Comment

    • n3rdy30
      Grease Monkey
      • Jun 2011
      • 394

      #242
      Originally posted by lambo
      Still doesn't explain why a post about swapping a k series into an e30 is a "troll" post
      It was a self-admitted troll, rather he owned up to doing it for the sole purpose of rustlin' some jimmys. He just happened to have the e30 parked in front of the engine inside of his garage. Not sure what the motor was though...in my personal opinion, I don't give a damn what you put in your car. If it makes you happy, more power to yah.

      1984 318i (w/ delicious M50 powa)
      Produktionsdatum: 03.10.1983
      Außenfarbe: Achatgruen Metallic (177)

      Comment

      • mrcheezle19
        E30 Fanatic
        • Apr 2012
        • 1451

        #243
        Originally posted by chadthestampede
        I work at a dealership and someone called and asked for pricing on a 'glove department' the other day.
        I love the crazy stupid questions I get from people while working at a dealership. Blows my mind


        Originally posted by blunttech
        Dude this is r3v. 20 bucks gets you a used timing belt or a low mileage head gasket

        Comment

        • n3rdy30
          Grease Monkey
          • Jun 2011
          • 394

          #244
          Oh, and....to get back on topic here's a fun one from the other day.

          Let me preface my story with this though, our hero protagonist was claiming to have been performing a legit procedure (breaking in a new set of pads), however what he was actually doing, was being a big ol' douche.

          A little background on, lets call him Boy Racer or BR, drives an Evo 10 that he dropped off at a shop soon after he bought it, and handed over the majority of his paychecks over the period of a few months to get it "fully built". Claims 700whp...Working a 10 hour shift with this dude, will make you want to scream. He will wander around and quote Fast and the Furious (in a serious manner), recite the specs of his car several times, ensuring that everyone is aware of his "automotive prowess". And this guy is obsessed with plastidip...if you say the word "plastidip", it's like f***ing beetle juice. He just appears. I'm a gear head through and through, and I love talking about cars, but with this guy going on and on for 10 hrs I'd rather discuss crocheting, or beat my own dick with a hammer. Yeah it's like that. /rant off

          I work on a military base in GA, the main gate has two entrances/lanes, these lanes are about 3/4 of a mile long from the traffic light off the main HWY. Sometimes during later hours when traffic flow lags they will shut down one of the lanes (indicated by a giant red light above the lane, visible from f***ing Mars, I assure you). So traffic is picking up a little, about 10-15 cars in a line, traveling around 15mph preparing to stop at the guard shack. I'm about in the middle of the line, patiently waiting my turn, jammin' out to some Lady Gaga (like ya do), and here comes BR flying up the closed entrance lane. He gets about 100m from the actual guard shack, and slams on the brakes. After sitting there for a moment he starts revving his engine, and edging into the line of cars. The 2nd car from the front begrudgingly lets BR in line, as he cuts in front of now 15-20 cars. Now...seeing this happen I was just steaming. Seriously? Seriously BR?!

          So after arriving at work and getting everything all set up, I confront BR about it with an audience of our entire shift. I said something to the effect of...
          Me - "Hey BR, that was a pretty sweet maneuver you pulled coming on post today. Did your parachute fail to deploy? Were you re-enacting your favorite scene from F&F? Or wait, you were probably shuffling your Nickleback playlist on spotify and didn't notice the lane was closed huh?"
          *group laughter*
          Someone says "shots fired"
          BR addressing the group in a condescending tone- "Actually kids, it's called breaking in brake pads, they're ceramic racing pads so they require a special procedure. If you had a true performance car, you'd know and understand. Just so you know, I actually took the back roads once on post so I could do that 5 or 6 more times."
          *complete and utter silence from the audience, we're all speechless he actually attempted to play that off* After I've recovered from my momentary retardation, or downs syndrome flash bang that he just deployed...
          Me - "Oh really?"
          BR - "I feel sorry for your mechanic, if you couldn't recognize what I was doing I doubt you take care of any of your cars properly"
          I had to end it there. It was embarrassing, he'd clearly trumped me.

          1984 318i (w/ delicious M50 powa)
          Produktionsdatum: 03.10.1983
          Außenfarbe: Achatgruen Metallic (177)

          Comment

          • MPLFoster
            E30 Fanatic
            • May 2013
            • 1490

            #245
            Originally posted by n3rdy30
            ...
            I had to end it there. It was embarrassing, he'd clearly trumped me.
            i lol'd.

            form.follows.function IG @mplfoster

            Comment

            • Northern
              R3V Elite
              • Nov 2010
              • 5040

              #246
              Originally posted by smooth
              because some of us are in it for the German engineering

              wouldn't it be easier and cheaper to slap a roundel on a honda if that's what you're after?


              btw, is this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honda_K_engine the engine you're referring to? because it doesn't look like any on that list make more power than an S5x
              On topic post is on topic.
              Originally posted by priapism
              My girl don't know shit, but she bakes a mean cupcake.
              Originally posted by shameson
              Usually it's best not to know how much money you have into your e30

              Comment

              • McGyver
                R3V Elite
                • Jun 2009
                • 4439

                #247
                The girl and I went back to my house last night after a show so we could walk the dog before going to her place to sleep. Well, I'm in the house taking the world's longest piss and when i finally come out she says, "Hey, I'm really sorry, but I was talking to your neighbors (who were having a party) and now some girl wants you to fix her car."

                As soon as I step outside, I'm assaulted with the same old question, "Hey, you work on cars, right?" She says her car is overheating but losing coolant, then asks if she should get her exhaust fixed to keep her car from overheating. I just stood there like an idiot for a minute trying not to laugh.

                I ended up telling her to flush the coolant.
                sigpic
                1987 - 325i Convertible Delphin Auto [SOLD], 325i Convertible Delphin Manual [SOLD]
                1989 - 325i Convertible Bronzit m30b35 swapped [SCRAPPED], 325i Sedan Alpine Auto[DD]
                1991 - 325i Coupe Laguna Manual [Project], 535i Sedan Alpine [SCRAPPED]

                Comment

                • Silverdogz
                  Advanced Member
                  • Aug 2012
                  • 168

                  #248
                  Originally posted by McGyver
                  The girl and I went back to my house last night after a show so we could walk the dog before going to her place to sleep. Well, I'm in the house taking the world's longest piss and when i finally come out she says, "Hey, I'm really sorry, but I was talking to your neighbors (who were having a party) and now some girl wants you to fix her car."

                  As soon as I step outside, I'm assaulted with the same old question, "Hey, you work on cars, right?" She says her car is overheating but losing coolant, then asks if she should get her exhaust fixed to keep her car from overheating. I just stood there like an idiot for a minute trying not to laugh.

                  I ended up telling her to flush the coolant.


                  Bet she flushed the coolant... down the toilet
                  Originally posted by blunttech
                  so true.. never let them know where you live..I almost ended up in jail when I was raping young women on craigslist

                  Comment

                  • mrcheezle19
                    E30 Fanatic
                    • Apr 2012
                    • 1451

                    #249
                    Originally posted by McGyver
                    The girl and I went back to my house last night after a show so we could walk the dog before going to her place to sleep. Well, I'm in the house taking the world's longest piss and when i finally come out she says, "Hey, I'm really sorry, but I was talking to your neighbors (who were having a party) and now some girl wants you to fix her car."

                    As soon as I step outside, I'm assaulted with the same old question, "Hey, you work on cars, right?" She says her car is overheating but losing coolant, then asks if she should get her exhaust fixed to keep her car from overheating. I just stood there like an idiot for a minute trying not to laugh.

                    I ended up telling her to flush the coolant.
                    You should have told her to turn down the heater, bitch woulda believed you.


                    Originally posted by blunttech
                    Dude this is r3v. 20 bucks gets you a used timing belt or a low mileage head gasket

                    Comment

                    • McGyver
                      R3V Elite
                      • Jun 2009
                      • 4439

                      #250
                      Originally posted by mrcheezle19
                      You should have told her to turn down the heater, bitch woulda believed you.
                      I was being surprisingly helpful for my state of mind. Then she asked if I would fix it and when i said no, her boy friend demanded to know how much it would cost to get it fixed. I got tired of trying to be helpful, so I said $80 The girl and i had a nice laugh about it later.
                      sigpic
                      1987 - 325i Convertible Delphin Auto [SOLD], 325i Convertible Delphin Manual [SOLD]
                      1989 - 325i Convertible Bronzit m30b35 swapped [SCRAPPED], 325i Sedan Alpine Auto[DD]
                      1991 - 325i Coupe Laguna Manual [Project], 535i Sedan Alpine [SCRAPPED]

                      Comment

                      • 15Michaeljoseph
                        E30 Mastermind
                        • Aug 2013
                        • 1693

                        #251
                        Originally posted by McGyver
                        The girl and I went back to my house last night after a show so we could walk the dog before going to her place to sleep. Well, I'm in the house taking the world's longest piss and when i finally come out she says, "Hey, I'm really sorry, but I was talking to your neighbors (who were having a party) and now some girl wants you to fix her car."

                        As soon as I step outside, I'm assaulted with the same old question, "Hey, you work on cars, right?" She says her car is overheating but losing coolant, then asks if she should get her exhaust fixed to keep her car from overheating. I just stood there like an idiot for a minute trying not to laugh.

                        I ended up telling her to flush the coolant.
                        "hey, you work on cars right?" has been the beginning of every text or conversation with any stranger classmate of mine to get me to work on their cars. always. but usually it's just stuff like A/C recharges so I ask them for $30 and call it a day.


                        --Mike
                        (OO=[][]=OO) For Life

                        Comment

                        • McGyver
                          R3V Elite
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 4439

                          #252
                          Originally posted by 15Michaeljoseph
                          "hey, you work on cars right?" has been the beginning of every text or conversation with any stranger classmate of mine to get me to work on their cars. always. but usually it's just stuff like A/C recharges so I ask them for $30 and call it a day.
                          brakes, suspension, timing belts, exhaust swaps, radiator swaps, plugs/cap/rotor, oil change, finish an engine swap....

                          I used to work in a shop, so i know what that stuff costs to do. I guess I'm just too nice to tell someone with no money, tools, or mechanical inclination that I'm not working on their POS car for free anymore.
                          sigpic
                          1987 - 325i Convertible Delphin Auto [SOLD], 325i Convertible Delphin Manual [SOLD]
                          1989 - 325i Convertible Bronzit m30b35 swapped [SCRAPPED], 325i Sedan Alpine Auto[DD]
                          1991 - 325i Coupe Laguna Manual [Project], 535i Sedan Alpine [SCRAPPED]

                          Comment

                          • 15Michaeljoseph
                            E30 Mastermind
                            • Aug 2013
                            • 1693

                            #253
                            Originally posted by McGyver
                            brakes, suspension, timing belts, exhaust swaps, radiator swaps, plugs/cap/rotor, oil change, finish an engine swap....

                            I used to work in a shop, so i know what that stuff costs to do. I guess I'm just too nice to tell someone with no money, tools, or mechanical inclination that I'm not working on their POS car for free anymore.
                            Your friends have asked you to do stuff like that!? damn. well that's great that you're so nice to them.


                            --Mike
                            (OO=[][]=OO) For Life

                            Comment

                            • Roysneon
                              R3V Elite
                              • Apr 2010
                              • 4505

                              #254
                              Originally posted by smooth
                              some people are purists. some might consider it disrespectful to the heritage of the E30
                              Well then those people are dumb.
                              For all things 24v, check out Markert Motorworks!
                              Originally posted by mbonanni
                              I hate modded emtree, I hate modded cawrz, I hate jdm, I hate swag, I hate stanceyolokids, I hate bags (on cars), I hate stuff that is slowz, I hate tires.

                              I am a pursit now.

                              Comment

                              • DER E30
                                R3VLimited
                                • Sep 2013
                                • 2343

                                #255
                                Originally posted by 15Michaeljoseph
                                Your friends have asked you to do stuff like that!? damn. well that's great that you're so nice to them.


                                --Mike
                                Haha I only work on my own stuff...
                                -Christian

                                '02 ///M3 CarbonSchwartz 6MT daily beast
                                08/91 Mtechnic II 325IC alpine/lotus
                                318iS, slow build/garage queen...
                                '37 Chevy pickup, the über project
                                Originally posted by roguetoaster
                                Be sure to remind them that the M42 is one of the best engines ever made, but be sure to not mention where it actually falls on that list.

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